Spend Time With Your Kids!!

[mamac]

My neighbor takes every Friday off from April-June, and works in his yard while I watch his DD. He never even looks over and waves, and she can SEE HIM when we are in the yard playing. As soon as I close for the summer and his wife is home with DD for the full week - the dude never takes another Friday off, until school starts again.

This is so sad. I can only imagine how this little girl feels. It's bad enough that he wants his "me" time right in front of her, but to not even acknowledge his little girl with a wave disgusts me. Even if she understands that she has to be with you instead of her dad it would make a world of difference to her if he would just wave hello. My own ds gets SO excited when I'm at one of his school functions and he sees me waving to him.

When my ds was still in dc, I would pay for many a day just to hang out with him when I could, even if it was to run errands. How else are these children supposed to learn how to behave in public if their parents keep them in daycare all day? We shouldn't be the only ones teaching them manners!

[Play Care]

Depending on how sick mom is, I don't think that's unreasonable.

I have been so ill before, it was a challenge to get up and make a bottle.

Moms do get the flu, viruses that make them vomit, etc. I don't know why it would offend anyone to help take care of a child while mom recovers.

I agree, I've had parents hit with the flu and I've encouraged them to bring the kids in if they could manage. To me, that's not "me" time.

[NeedaVaca]

lmm - no one ever believes me when I say I've never once had a babysitter come watch my kids or dropped them off with someone other than immediate family.......it's sad to me that that taking care of your own is such a foreign concept to so many.....

This is me too! Never once used a babysitter in 9 years. They only go to Grandma's

[Play Care]

This is all.the.time - one kid is here 5 days a week no matter what and a parent is home none day a week every week (and home on weekends). The other one is spending all of the parents vacation week with me - and it is souring the relationship, I get having stuff to do but 5 days of stuff? 9 hours a day? Really?

I'm going to be brutally honest - This is where I burn out on parents. If the only way I get a "break" from a particular family is to close, it's too much.

[jokalima]

Only one of my families is like this. They appear to like to spend together as a couple but less like a family. I've heard them say that they like to go to the park after DC so the child get's tired and falls asleep early at home. If I need a day off they usually give me trouble, even told me that they have the time to take off but they were planing on doing something on their own... Why do you want a child for? Don't get it.

[Mom&Provider]

I also agree with bunnyslippers...I don't mind if a parent has something to do on a day off, BUT can they not drop or pick-up at a different time that works around their appointment?

My teacher family had this past Monday off, schools were all closed for Easter and yet at 7:30 am on the dot the door bell rang and sure enough they were here for the day! They didn't get picked up until almost 5 pm either and I close at 5 pm.

I'm not sure it would bother me as much if they said, I have some things to do so I will bring X at 9 am vs 7:30 am and will pick-up as soon as I am done. That to me seems fair, to the child, the parent and me.

[SquirrellyMama]

I agree, I've had parents hit with the flu and I've encouraged them to bring the kids in if they could manage. To me, that's not "me" time.

I remember when my dh and I both had the flu when the kids were little (5, 3 and 1). My kids weren't in dc and we have no family within 4 hours. My oldest child opened up a box of gold fish crackers and dumped it on the floor so they could eat. It was awful. I would never want anyone to go through that. I'm fine if they bring them when parents are sick.

K

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

So they aren't really stay at home mom's, they are stay at home women

They aren't home mothering their children...so sad

Well, some of them are at home mothering their babies ... at least until age 2.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

YES! I am finding it more and more these days too.

One DCM just told me yesterday that she became a "better Mom" when she sent her little one to me!? I understand part of this, every Mom/Dad need a break to refresh, but really, putting your child in daycare M-F for 9 hrs a day made you better?? I see it as it just made your job easier, not you a better Mom/Dad!

The big one for me recently is a teacher family who in the past always kept the kids home on breaks, when they even had a little sniffle they were home, but now they are here 100% of the time unless they are seriously ill. DCM is at home doing I don't know what or running those all important "errands"...it makes me wonder how they manage at all with their kids!? I get and completely understand if Mom/Dad have an appoitment etc. or the occasional time out with a friend, but ALL the time, that's where it gets upsetting.

When my own child was attending daycare, if I was off early my child was picked up early, if I was off my child was with me. I wanted them to be with ME since my time was so limited after work and a day off was a day of fun! And yes, I paid for the day sometimes even when they didn't go...it was worth it to me for the time I spent with them vs the money.

I know many here say as long as they are paid they don't care, but I do...it's time I could have ended up with a day off with MY children, or a day I could of had fewer children and done more with each one. Whatever the case, I find it unacceptable for them to do this...but not much can be done, unless it's in your contract.

Want to know when I really care? When the SAHMs are late to pick up their children. They are the most habitually late people I know and they never apologize.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I have no patience for this, either. I have too many stories of parents who can't get away from their children fast enough. For most of my kids, after the time they are with me and various babysitters, I have more time with them then their parents do during any given week.

My own brother and s-i-l put my nephew - he is 20 months - into daycare everyday from 7:30-6:00. In a recent discussion, my brother actually told me that he prefers his method of parenting to mine. His reasoning was that "Nephew gets his own space, and gets to do his own thing while we are at work. I like that other people are teaching him things during the day and helping us to raise him." I was sad to hear it. He really, truly thinks that other people can raise his little baby better than he and his wife.

My neighbor takes every Friday off from April-June, and works in his yard while I watch his DD. He never even looks over and waves, and she can SEE HIM when we are in the yard playing. As soon as I close for the summer and his wife is home with DD for the full week - the dude never takes another Friday off, until school starts again.

I have a little girl here who has a list of SIX different people who may pick her up or drop her off on any given day. Any person that her parents can pawn her off on, they will. Her parents just took a 4 day mini-vacation without the kids. They took Monday off, so they could recuperate at home. Yup, their daughter was here, for her full day and scheduled time. It broke my heart! Didn't they miss her?!??! Pick her up an hour early, for goodness sake. Take her to the PARK! This same couple have a child in kindergarten. He goes to a before and after school program - 7:00-6:00 every single day. The mother works only M-TH, and she only works from 8:00-2:30. She just sends her kids off to programs, so she can have "me time."

It is a sad trend, but a very common and popular one. I am going back to work in the fall, as a school teacher. My husband and I are working very hard to keep my little one's day in full-day preschool as short as possible. I will be taking every opportunity to spend as much time with both my kids as I can.

As for the park, I have kids in care now/in the past (SAHM kids and working parent kids) who had no idea what the park was or what to do with the park equipment. We go each day, once in the morning and once in the afternoon.

[Lyss]

It is frustrating because I wish I had time with my kids that they have and aren't using.

I think this is why its hard for me to understand. I would love to have a day off with just DD and when a parent shows up and drops a DCK off for 8-10hours when they have the day off I just can't understand it. Especially when BOTH parents are off.

That said I do understand when the single mom I have drops DCG occasionally (once a month or so, for like 4-5 hours) when she has the day off, she has no family and never gets time for herself so I do understand the need for some mommy time.

[EAP]

I'm going to be brutally honest - This is where I burn out on parents. If the only way I get a "break" from a particular family is to close, it's too much.

This is EXACTLY how I feel and I have had a lot of back and forth over my days off with them which is why I think the kid is here this week. AWESOME PARENTING!

[DaisyMamma]

It is frustrating because I wish I had time with my kids that they have and aren't using.

So they aren't really stay at home mom's, they are stay at home women

They aren't home mothering their children...so sad

::

I might restructure my rate system to give credit for days parents spend with their kids - I doubt it will change anything but maybe an incentive to be with them? I just don't get it.

You shouldn't have to. I've thought about doing this too.

ALL of my clients are this way.

Same.

My biggest offenders are people with jobs that are shorter weeks or teachers - I actually just ran a report and the teachers kids are here the most - the kid here the least is one that both parents work full-time 5 days a week and spend every second they can with the kid - they even come visit for lunch.

[canadiancare]

I charge whether they are here or not so the parents send them. I can't lie and say it doesn't bother me if I know they are home but it isn't my place to judge how they are spending their paid for time.

It would be nice if they were at least picked up early on a day like that. I do have to admit that it doesn't happen too often but I have had the occasional parent who drops wearing pj pants and with morning breath and tell me they are going right back to bed and then to get their hair done afterwards because they took a "me" day. It makes me feel so old to say that I have never had a "me" day in 21 years of parenting.

[KBCsMommy]

Anyone else have trend of parents having time off and not spending any of it with their kids? When my oldest was young and in daycare I had him with me every second I could - its hard for me to understand these parents. I get needing time once and a while but all.the.time?

One of my dcm is a teacher as well and her absolutely lovely and adorable daughter was here the WHOLE week of spring break last week 7:30 to 5 pm. Where was mom? At home hanging out.

Here is the kicker my ds came down with a stomach bug and I closed on Wednesday, and I gave parents the choice of bringing their children on Thursday and Friday and I wasn't going to charge them. This mom chose to bring her child both Thursday and Friday. My ds even threw up in the hallway (tile) on the way to the bathroom in front of her. And she was still chose to leave her daughter

I guess watching tv is more important than time with your children.

I would give anything to have a whole week off or a whole summer off and hang out with my amazing, brilliant and hilarious kids.