Spend Time With Your Kids!!

[EAP]

Anyone else have trend of parents having time off and not spending any of it with their kids? When my oldest was young and in daycare I had him with me every second I could - its hard for me to understand these parents. I get needing time once and a while but all.the.time?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Half of my clients are stay-at-home-moms, and the parents that work do this as well. I just don't think about it. A "break" (one less-several less kiddos) would be nice every once in awhile. ::

[EAP]

It is frustrating because I wish I had time with my kids that they have and aren't using.

[CedarCreek]

Oh yes. If a parent had a day off, usually they are still bringing their kid. The exception to this are my teachers when on longer breaks.

I don't get it either. If I had a day off, my boys were with me. I like being with them.

[hope]

I see this a lot with both my day care parents and friends. Parents are not involved in school activities, do not take their children to the park or trips, and leave their children with anyone that will watch them. I have one DCM that sends her child to me FT plus has two other babysitter for nights and weekends. She says she is a "young hip mom who needs a life outside of her children". She complains when teachers send reports home about her children not doing their hw or failing a test. She believes its the babysitters fault.
Believe me, my husband and I enjoy a night out for dinner alone once in a while. But we work hard at creating memories for our children. I do home daycare so that I can be with my children as much as possible. All my daycare parents n friends joke about how horrible my job must be. I always respond that it is challenging but I have never been happier. I love spending my days with my children n theirs. They just don't get it.

[Willow]

I don't tolerate that crap. I'm very upfront in my interviews about it.

[hope]

What about the parents that can't go shopping, to appointments, or run errands around the house with their children in tow? These are all great learning experiences for kids. This is great time to talk and bond with your children. But for some reason it is impossible to hold their kids hand and walk through a store???????? Baffles me!

[Willow]

What about the parents that can't go shopping, to appointments, or run errands around the house with their children in tow? These are all great learning experiences for kids. This is great time to talk and bond with your children. But for some reason it is impossible to hold their kids hand and walk through a store???????? Baffles me!

It's LAZINESS!!!!

And it absolutely drives me nuts.

[EAP]

I don't tolerate that crap. I'm very upfront in my interviews about it.

What do you say?

[CedarCreek]

It's LAZINESS!!!!

And it absolutely drives me nuts.

Totally agree with you.

I don't say anything to them because I get paid either way but it's definitely not the choice I would make.

[NeedaVaca]

Half of my clients are stay-at-home-moms, and the parents that work do this as well. I just don't think about it. A "break" (one less-several less kiddos) would be nice every once in awhile. ::

So they aren't really stay at home mom's, they are stay at home women

They aren't home mothering their children...so sad

[littlemissmuffet]

This is the new trend of "parenting". I'm finding alot of older women who ask me about my profession are curious if parents spend any time with their children anymore. When I tell them the majority work all day, go home, feed and bath the kids and get the into bed ASAP... then ship the kiddos off to the grandparents or wherever for the weekend they tell me their grown children are the same... asking when do parents actually PARENT anymore? It's not just us daycare providers who are noticing this new trend.

It IS laziness. I work 10-11 hour days then spend 4-5 hours a night with my child. I am completely exhausted each day, but hubby give me relief when I need it. One of us is always with her during the day while the other runs the daycare - or we split shifts and both of us spend the night with her.
Nobody will ever watch my kiddo but close family - and only occasionally. When hubby and I decided to have a child we realized what a huge long-term commitment it would be and go all the "me time" we could in before I got pregnant.

Too many parents sluff their jobs off onto others - this forum and the endless complaints are definitely a daily reminder of this fact.

Most of my daycare kids don't want to leave at the end of the day because they know me better than they know their own parents... how sad!

This topic is the primary reason I am looking to get out of daycare.

[EAP]

I might restructure my rate system to give credit for days parents spend with their kids - I doubt it will change anything but maybe an incentive to be with them? I just don't get it.

[Mom&Provider]

YES! I am finding it more and more these days too.

One DCM just told me yesterday that she became a "better Mom" when she sent her little one to me!? I understand part of this, every Mom/Dad need a break to refresh, but really, putting your child in daycare M-F for 9 hrs a day made you better?? I see it as it just made your job easier, not you a better Mom/Dad!

The big one for me recently is a teacher family who in the past always kept the kids home on breaks, when they even had a little sniffle they were home, but now they are here 100% of the time unless they are seriously ill. DCM is at home doing I don't know what or running those all important "errands"...it makes me wonder how they manage at all with their kids!? I get and completely understand if Mom/Dad have an appoitment etc. or the occasional time out with a friend, but ALL the time, that's where it gets upsetting.

When my own child was attending daycare, if I was off early my child was picked up early, if I was off my child was with me. I wanted them to be with ME since my time was so limited after work and a day off was a day of fun! And yes, I paid for the day sometimes even when they didn't go...it was worth it to me for the time I spent with them vs the money.

I know many here say as long as they are paid they don't care, but I do...it's time I could have ended up with a day off with MY children, or a day I could of had fewer children and done more with each one. Whatever the case, I find it unacceptable for them to do this...but not much can be done, unless it's in your contract.

[Willow]

What do you say?

I ask a lot of questions about home life to better gauge what the child's life experiences have been and how they respond to the world around them. I ask those questions before I go in to my philosophies about only taking on very hands on and involved parents who enjoy and miss their children. Parents who *want* to spend any free time with them because they understand how important nurturing that bond is. If we're on the same wave length I'll go in to why I think that makes for a happier, healthier well adjusted child and how that helps to create a more peaceful and cohesive daycare group. I emphasize that I'm picky about my families so I can offer the kids in my care the best peer group I can, and any kiddos I add to the mix must be coming from the same attentive and nurturing environment at home.

If however the parents answers to my questions is a list of *their* social events, a sob story about how hard parenting is and a list of the babysitters they have weeknights and weekends I'll just give a short very generic schpeel about daycare and send them packing as quickly as I can get them out the door.

Parents that have kids just to hire everyone else to care for and raise them repulse me and there is no way I'd ever be a part of that destruction of a child.