Child Kicked Me!!

[Angelsj]

But, there must be loopholes. He refused lunch. The other kids were having a treat with lunch. It wasn't a separation, just a nap time, which he chose to go to early.

It is the basing it around food. Now if his friends were do to a special project that he had to sit out of because of his behavior, that would be fine.
"Sorry, but little boys who kick Ms ______ don't get to use the glitter glue. You may color on this paper." Or whatever lets him participate minimally, but not with the "special" project items.

And for the original, no, I would not term. I care for many special needs kids, and a one time thing would require some real talk time with Mom and Dad, and a definite correction, but I would not term for a single instance.

[CedarCreek]

I agree with calling for pick up and possibly terming.

I had a dck head butt me once. Called the Dad for pick up and didn't term. Mistake.


The next time he head butted a 2 year old dcg. I called Dad again for pick up and he kept him out the rest of the week. I used that time to type up his term letter.

I should have termed him the first time he was violent with me.

[CedarCreek]

It is the basing it around food. Now if his friends were do to a special project that he had to sit out of because of his behavior, that would be fine.
"Sorry, but little boys who kick Ms ______ don't get to use the glitter glue. You may color on this paper." Or whatever lets him participate minimally, but not with the "special" project items.

And for the original, no, I would not term. I care for many special needs kids, and a one time thing would require some real talk time with Mom and Dad, and a definite correction, but I would not term for a single instance.

I don't believe this child is special needs though.

[Unregistered]

I agree about calling the parent immediately and requiring the child to be sent home.

I would also more than likely term. A 5 year old kicking you is a completely different thing than a 2 year old expressing his frustration.

Personally, I believe that providers need to start dealing with aggressiveness in small children in a much firmer manner so that by the time a kid reaches age 5, they KNOW better and wouldn't dream of hitting, kicking or punching another human being....especially an adult.

Totally agree. One of the reasons I have not had biting issues in my day care is because I deal with it *very* firmly. A typically developing 5 yo should not be laying his hands on anyone in anger, but certainly not his caregiver. This loosey-goosey "oh please stop hitting me, it makes mummy sooooo sad when you hit her" complete with fake crying makes ME want to slap some sense into the parent. If its too late to have the child picked up then I would be stressing to mom and dad that if it happens again they will lose their child care.

[Angelsj]

I don't believe this child is special needs though.

I think you are right, but I think dealing with special needs all the time maybe makes me a little more mellow. I am not saying it is not a big deal, it is. If the child will strike YOU, he won't hesitate to strike another child.

If the parents are not on board and understanding how serious this is, I would term. But for a one time thing, I would at least give everyone a chance to discuss it.

[nannyde]

I guess I would need more information about how this child is otherwise, how the parents are, etc. I'm not a thief, but once when I was 11, I stole something. My sister tried it not too long after and was caught. BIG deal was made out of it (rent-a-cop threatened to haul her off to juvey, dad had to go "talk" her out), and we both never did it again.

I think, unless this is just the icing on the cake with this kid, that he can also learn from this, not just be terminated. He is only 5, after all.

Only 5?

All of my kids know not to get physical with me. 5 is so so so far away from ANY possible developmental excuse for not knowing not to hit an adult. A 5 year old boy should have learned years ago not to ever hit a girl.

If a kid hit me the other kids would be DEVASTATED. It would dramatically affect our lives here.

NO way....

I've been at this for a while and I can't understand why a provider would keep a kid that was violent. I couldn't do it. There's no amount of money that would be worth me having to worry every day that one of these kids could hurt me.

[AmyKidsCo]

I'm surprised everyone would terminate or call to have the child picked up immediately.

I agree the kicking/hitting is not appropriate, but I feel as though it's my job to make every effort to deal with it as the daycare provider. If I called clients to pick up for this, I doubt they would be returning. (which is actually ok in some cases...)

Maybe I'm just too used to dealing with difficult behaviors with foster kids that I have more of a tolerance for this...

I would have a very frank conversation with this child about appropriate behavior and then they would have a consequence of some sort. -usually taking away a fun activity or something the child really likes. They'd have to earn it back with appropriate behavior. They would need to apoligize and I would also speak to the parents about it.

Not knowing the whole situation it's hard to say, but my instinct would be to handle it myself and give the child the benefit of the doubt. If it happened again I'd talk to Mom & Dad, but if this was the first time the child was probably as upset about it as you were, and maybe even a little scared about losing control like that.

[youretooloud]

We all know he did it on purpose. Five is old enough to have better self control than that.

But, in reality, no parent is going to believe he did it on purpose. ALL parents think "He would never do that intentionally".

So, the first time, you handle it, talk to the parents, and give the kid the benefit of the doubt.

If it continues, even on a small scale, then i'd come down really hard on everybody. But, I wouldn't terminate for ONE bad choice.

[dave4him]

Just dont kick back!

[EAP]

I would term immediately for that age - I had a 4 year old - hit kick and bite me and I let it go on until I was so miserable and the parents down played it non stop - never again.

I tried to work with them over and over and I was miserable not them.

[Leanna]

I do understand the perspective of trying to work on behavior with the little boy. However, when I used to work in a center we had staff CONSTANTLY being physically harmed by children with behavior issues that we were not equipped to handle but management kept enrolling in the program. A few times staff were injured to the point of needing to go to the emergency room - and this was from 2-4 year-olds. We were not allowed (by management) to send the children home. It is terrible to say, because early childhood programs should be child/family/parent focused, but I know from this experience and others that if you don't inconvenience some parents that they will not deal with the child's behavior. As a family child care provider, I would personally find it way too difficult to try and work with a school-age child on violent behavior.

[jenn]

At this age, I would send home immediately and terminate, since you said he is a handful anyway. If this child is willing to be violent toward you, the next target may be another child.

I have a mixed age group and bigger/older kids that act in violence could seriously injure one of my smaller children (or myself) and they are also setting a bad example for the smaller ones. I have a 1 year old now that is testing every boundary there is to test. She has hit/tried to hit a couple of times. Even at 1, she has been separated from the others when she does this (supervised and safe of course). Mom is already aware that even at this young age, I cannot allow this behavior.

Accidents/injuries happen, but having to explain to a parent that their child was injured by a violent child I care for is just not going to happen. If I had to do that, I would want to tell the injured child's parent that I had terminated the violent child so they felt safe bringing their child back.

[Kaddidle Care]

If they are bold enough to hit an adult they will surely hit their peers.

I no longer have patience to deal with this type of child and would have sent him home.

We had a 3 year old that hit and/or kicked every adult in our Center. The child was aggressive to the other children as well. The Director refused to terminate because our numbers were low.

It was at that point that I made my decision not to return after the end of the School year. I'm too old for that kind of nonsense.

[Unregistered]

for those that send home or terminate.. at what age is it "able to be worked around"?
i can totally see a 4 year old being terminated..he should know better..
but i have had 1 year old slap me in the face.. OMG i was so upset. i told the mom, who said something to him, but what do you really say to a one or 2 yr old?? timeout is one minute for a one year old? what does that do?
what do you really do when you have hitting and kicking from a one yr old?

I hope that by now, things have worked themselves out. It's a perfectly normal thing for a child to experiment with hitting. Usually between 9 months and 18 months. Simply tell the child no, redirect, and move on.

Time outs for one-year olds are not appropriate nor effective. A one-year old child simply can not grasp the concept of why he is there. I have a THREE year old who never has a clue as to why he is in time-out. Around the age of three is where time outs should start.

[Play Care]

I hope that by now, things have worked themselves out. It's a perfectly normal thing for a child to experiment with hitting. Usually between 9 months and 18 months. Simply tell the child no, redirect, and move on.

Time outs for one-year olds are not appropriate nor effective. A one-year old child simply can not grasp the concept of why he is there. I have a THREE year old who never has a clue as to why he is in time-out. Around the age of three is where time outs should start.

IME, the no should be a very firm "NO HITTING! HITTING HURTS!" if you want to make sure it doesn't keep happening. A very firm voice from a usually loving caregiver stops my kids dead in their tracks. Maybe it "scares" them a little. I'm okay with that. A child of any age should know/get the message that laying hands on another is a BIG DEAL and will not be tolerated.

In my day care a child of 1 isn't allowed to "free range" simply because they do not have the skills to do so safely. I am usually always between them and the others, helping them use words and making sure they are not getting frustrated to the point of hitting and biting.

A 5 year old hitting/kicking/biting would get a BUH-BYE from me especially since he is already a "handful."