Child Kicked Me!!

[lucky]

So long story short I have a child, who will be 5 in a few weeks, who has been a bit of a handful. Today he didn't want to join us for lunch. My rule is you don't have to eat but you need to sit with everyone else. He ignored me and continued to take out toys. I walked over and began to put them away and firmly informed him he would be joining us at the table. He had a fit and hauled off and kicked me. Hard! I'm honestly not sure how to proceed. I have never had a child strike me, much less one this age. Anybody else experienced this?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I would have sent him to bed for naptime immediately AND the parents would be informed.

[nannyde]

I would terminate him immediately. I would have called the parents and told them to come RIGHT NOW.

I have a no violence policy... no exceptions

[littlemissmuffet]

So long story short I have a child, who will be 5 in a few weeks, who has been a bit of a handful. Today he didn't want to join us for lunch. My rule is you don't have to eat but you need to sit with everyone else. He ignored me and continued to take out toys. I walked over and began to put them away and firmly informed him he would be joining us at the table. He had a fit and hauled off and kicked me. Hard! I'm honestly not sure how to proceed. I have never had a child strike me, much less one this age. Anybody else experienced this?

This kid would be sent home immediately, no questions asked. Said child would also be put on a two week behavioral probation. If he did it again, he'd be termed. Again, no questions asked. I wouldn't let my own child hit me, I sure as hell am not allowing someone else's child to.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

This kid would be sent home immediately, no questions asked. Said child would also be put on a two week behavioral probation. If he did it again, he'd be termed. Again, no questions asked. I wouldn't let my own child hit me, I sure as hell am not allowing someone else's child to.

I didn't even think about initiating a behavior plan. Mine is called a "Plan of Action." Good idea!

[Heidi]

I would call mom out of earshot and tell her what happened (or dad) and to be prepared at pick-up.

Then, I would make HIM tell her what he did, and go sit in another room while you and mom discuss what will be an appropriate consequence. Make sure mom (or dad) really plays up the "I'm so dissapointed in your behavior" angle.

He is not 3...he's 5. He is old enough to have a BIG consequence for this. Loosing something he cares about for a week, missing out on an event, or something along those lines. It's gotta hurt. He should also be expected to "write" you an apology letter or card.

Sending him home or terminating him punishes the parents, not him. Now, if it happened again, or his parents blow it off, then I would do that. But, I think you've got to give him a chance to take his consequences, apologize, and then be forgiven.

Once he does the above, I would forgive him, and say "I love you (or like you) and forgive you, but I will not let you hurt me. So, lets start again, ok?"

[Blackcat31]

I agree about calling the parent immediately and requiring the child to be sent home.

I would also more than likely term. A 5 year old kicking you is a completely different thing than a 2 year old expressing his frustration.

Personally, I believe that providers need to start dealing with aggressiveness in small children in a much firmer manner so that by the time a kid reaches age 5, they KNOW better and wouldn't dream of hitting, kicking or punching another human being....especially an adult.

[Willow]

I'd have called and sent him home immediately as well.

As to whether or not to term I think I'd consider the family overall. Are they the type that are going to come pick him up immediately while apologizing profusely and then drill it into his head that he is NEVER to do that again or are they the ones who created this mess and won't give a rip that he did it.....

If they don't give a rip please don't subject yourself or the other kids in your care to that level of violence again.

[Blackcat31]

I would call mom out of earshot and tell her what happened (or dad) and to be prepared at pick-up.

Then, I would make HIM tell her what he did, and go sit in another room while you and mom discuss what will be an appropriate consequence. Make sure mom (or dad) really plays up the "I'm so dissapointed in your behavior" angle.

He is not 3...he's 5. He is old enough to have a BIG consequence for this. Loosing something he cares about for a week, missing out on an event, or something along those lines. It's gotta hurt. He should also be expected to "write" you an apology letter or card.

Sending him home or terminating him punishes the parents, not him. Now, if it happened again, or his parents blow it off, then I would do that. But, I think you've got to give him a chance to take his consequences, apologize, and then be forgiven.

Once he does the above, I would forgive him, and say "I love you (or like you) and forgive you, but I will not let you hurt me. So, lets start again, ok?"

TOTALLY get where you are coming from but let's be honest here...half the time when we have young children who hit (under school age) it IS because the parents either allow it or look the other way when it does happen.

As a parent I KNOW my child would never have hit or kicked their adult caregiver.

[allsmiles]

for those that send home or terminate.. at what age is it "able to be worked around"?
i can totally see a 4 year old being terminated..he should know better..
but i have had 1 year old slap me in the face.. OMG i was so upset. i told the mom, who said something to him, but what do you really say to a one or 2 yr old?? timeout is one minute for a one year old? what does that do?
what do you really do when you have hitting and kicking from a one yr old?

[allsmiles]

I would call mom out of earshot and tell her what happened (or dad) and to be prepared at pick-up.

Then, I would make HIM tell her what he did, and go sit in another room while you and mom discuss what will be an appropriate consequence. Make sure mom (or dad) really plays up the "I'm so dissapointed in your behavior" angle.

He is not 3...he's 5. He is old enough to have a BIG consequence for this. Loosing something he cares about for a week, missing out on an event, or something along those lines. It's gotta hurt. He should also be expected to "write" you an apology letter or card.

Sending him home or terminating him punishes the parents, not him. Now, if it happened again, or his parents blow it off, then I would do that. But, I think you've got to give him a chance to take his consequences, apologize, and then be forgiven.

Once he does the above, I would forgive him, and say "I love you (or like you) and forgive you, but I will not let you hurt me. So, lets start again, ok?"

i agree 5 yr old could care less about changing daycare.. he needs a consequence!! maybe even on top of terminating because you dont wan that type of behavior to be continuing towards you or the other dcks, but he needs a consequence also for sure! LOL

[mema]

I'd have called and sent him home immediately as well.

As to whether or not to term I think I'd consider the family overall. Are they the type that are going to come pick him up immediately while apologizing profusely and then drill it into his head that he is NEVER to do that again or are they the ones who created this mess and won't give a rip that he did it.....

If they don't give a rip please don't subject yourself or the other kids in your care to that level of violence again.

[Heidi]

for those that send home or terminate.. at what age is it "able to be worked around"?
i can totally see a 4 year old being terminated..he should know better..
but i have had 1 year old slap me in the face.. OMG i was so upset. i told the mom, who said something to him, but what do you really say to a one or 2 yr old?? timeout is one minute for a one year old? what does that do?
what do you really do when you have hitting and kicking from a one yr old?

You catch their hand and say "NO...NO HITTING!"

Then, you find them something else to do, as in redirect

It's a careful balance if you give it too much attention, they'll do it just to piss you off, and everyone else sees it and also tries it. I termed a family of 4 last year (ages 20m, 20m, 3, and 4) because they ALL did it.

[Blackcat31]

for those that send home or terminate.. at what age is it "able to be worked around"?
i can totally see a 4 year old being terminated..he should know better..
but i have had 1 year old slap me in the face.. OMG i was so upset. i told the mom, who said something to him, but what do you really say to a one or 2 yr old?? timeout is one minute for a one year old? what does that do?
what do you really do when you have hitting and kicking from a one yr old?

I had a 1 yr old who liked to slap his mom in the face. She was SUPER firm in saying "NO!!!" to the point that it literally made the child take a step back and go "Whoa!"

Mom said he never hit again.

A consequence to an unwanted behavior has to make a big enough impact to make a child think before he chooses to do the act again or not do it.

I don't know that there is one right or wrong reaction but I do know that if parents (and caregivers) are really firm and strict about it the very first time, the likelihood of a repeat behavior is less.

I still have this kid and they are NOT in the least aggressive or violent.

[nannyde]

I would call mom out of earshot and tell her what happened (or dad) and to be prepared at pick-up.

Then, I would make HIM tell her what he did, and go sit in another room while you and mom discuss what will be an appropriate consequence. Make sure mom (or dad) really plays up the "I'm so dissapointed in your behavior" angle.

He is not 3...he's 5. He is old enough to have a BIG consequence for this. Loosing something he cares about for a week, missing out on an event, or something along those lines. It's gotta hurt. He should also be expected to "write" you an apology letter or card.

Sending him home or terminating him punishes the parents, not him. Now, if it happened again, or his parents blow it off, then I would do that. But, I think you've got to give him a chance to take his consequences, apologize, and then be forgiven.

Once he does the above, I would forgive him, and say "I love you (or like you) and forgive you, but I will not let you hurt me. So, lets start again, ok?"

Sending him home protects ME

I don't want to be around anyone that hurts me. If he would hurt me he will hurt my son, my property, my other kids. I can't deal with that.

It's not personal. It's ME and what's best for me.