How Would You Address This With Mom?

[Bizzymom1111]

I have a daycare mom who constantly sends her boys in clothing that does not fit. Her 3 year old came yesterday in size 18 month pants- which DO NOT fit him and 2 tshirts on( it was 90 degrees). Today, the boy was wearingthe same pants-backwards- and no underwear, with the tshirt he had on underneath yesterday. And the 14 month old had on pants that were size 3t. WAY too big! Also, she sent extra clothes for the boys and same thing. The clothes for the younger one were size 18 months for the pants(fine) but the shirtwas size4t- with no shrinkage( ya know how sometimes a 4t shrinks to a 2t?!) so is there a way to address this with mom without sounding like I'm accusing her of neglect or laziness? I'd chalk it up to not having any money for new clothes,but a) she came in yestrday sporting a french pedicure and full set of acrylic nails PLUS a new tatoo, and b) if that were the case, she is on a county progam and I know they give out resources to find clothes closets, etc. So does anyone have any ideas? Thanks!

[Janet]

That would grind my gears, too!!!

I hate seeing parents send their kids to daycare wearing clothing that is not weather appropriate or size appropriate and the clothing being all stained and worn out and torn. I can understand it if the parent is struggling to make ends meet, but it gets to me when the mom can justify getting her nails done and getting her hair highlighted and spend a fortune on Mary Kay makeup, but can't get clothes that fit for her sons!

If a parent is on state assistance, then the parent should not be dropping cash to get her nails done or get a tattoo. That's total BS! Anyway, tattoos are really expensive! I should know, because I have 4 of them and one of them cost $100 dollars and it's not even all that big!

I would just casually bring it to her attention that dcb's pants are too short or dcb's shirt is too big and just ask her if she could bring some clothing that fits a little better.

[Crystal]

ITA with Janet. And, that would drive me insane - I cannot stand when a kid looks like he's fresh out of a huck finn book because clothes are too small and dirty.

[ninosqueridos]

I wouldn't address size-appropriate clothing unless it was a hazard or obviously bothering the child like:
--safety issue with 1 year old trying to walk but tripping over pants that keep falling
--too-tight pants inhibiting child's ability to go potty (pull pants up and down on their own)

I addressed oversized pants once because dcg was tripping ALL the time, and dcm said, "oh I'm sorry, we're going to walmart tonight to get some new things for her....those belonged to her cousin and I know they're too big." I felt so bad that I brought it up, and now I just deal with it (roll up waists that are too big, etc).

[Bizzymom1111]

ITA with Janet. And, that would drive me insane - I cannot stand when a kid looks like he's fresh out of a huck finn book because clothes are too small and dirty.

Omg!! LMAO! That huck Finn comment is hilarious! You couldn't have said it better!

[jen]

I wonder if those are "daycare clothes." You know...the kind that are already ruined/don't fit so it doesn't matter if they make mud pies and paint themselves pink?

I've also had a few whose parents let them dress themselves no matter how ridiculous or out of season they arrived.

Out of season I spoke to the parents about...they might not want to have the discussion with the child in the morning but I'm not dealing with flip flops in November or parkas in August.

A group email that outline appropriate clothing for the season might be in order. If that doesn't work, a simple..."Oh Johnny was SO hot outside today. I know how much kids like to dress themselves, but in the future please make sure he is dressed for the weather."

As for the non-fitting stuff...the best you could probably do is make a joke that his pants kept coming unsnapped or something to that effect.

[booroo]

I'm think she is confused on the kids clothing really, the 3 year old is wearing the 14month old and the 14month is wearing the 3 year olds clothes!!!

I would just say something along the lines of... It looked like a had on bs clothes too..

[professionalmom]

I addressed oversized pants once because dcg was tripping ALL the time, and dcm said, "oh I'm sorry, we're going to walmart tonight to get some new things for her....those belonged to her cousin and I know they're too big." I felt so bad that I brought it up, and now I just deal with it (roll up waists that are too big, etc).

I had the EXACT same situation with a DCB, but when I explained to the mom that DCB was tripping and/or walking around holding his own pants up and inhibiting his ability to play and be involved in activities, DCM said, "I've NEVER had a problem with those jeans!" with her usual tone of superiority which oozed "you're the one with the problem because YOU can't deal with it."

[Bizzymom1111]

Well, yesterday when mom picked up the boys, I very casually mentioned that I noticed dcb tripping over his pants alot and when I changed him I noticed they were size 3t and if she had noticed. She kind of looked embarrassed and said"oops, I was in such a hurry this morning that I just grabbed whatever I found" but then when I looked at her it almost looked like she was about to cry. I think she is just sensitive about stuff, because I was very polite and actually the last time I mentioned something to her about her boys, same thing. That time I had just asked her to return another dcb's clothes that he had gone home in when he had an accident. So in conclusion, I believe there is no good way to bring up issues with parents no matter how small the issue might be, or how polite you put it, so yu might as well just be honest and straightforward. Sometimes I really hate dealing with the parents!

[MommyMuffin]

I know its not your problem to get this kid different clothes but I thought if you had some old clothes or your sisters kid had some..ect of the size you think the kid would need, maybe when the parent comes to pick up you could say something like, "I have these extra clothes and they look about your boys sizes, I dont have any need for them, would you like them?"
That way she doesnt have to be embarassed but she can see what sizes they really are.
But I also know some people who get offended when someone offers something for free...like they think you think they cant afford it and get offended. But you know the parent the best, so you could word it however. Anyways just a thought.

[nannyde]

Don't get me started on kids clothes.

[Bizzymom1111]

Don't get me started on kids clothes.

What are your thoughts on this nannyde?

[melskids]

nannyde-

not to hijack the thread, but i just have to say i always love reading your responses. you either have these long, wonderful, well written, infomative posts, or these quick one line, straight to the point, dont go there with me type answers. i love it

[DCMom]

I try not to comment on kids' clothing~it's a personal/family kind of issue, you know? About the only thing I do comment on is when we are potty training, I request easy to manipulate clothing (as we all do).

I have a kind of passive solution; I know many won't agree but it works for me. Over the years I have aquired a collection of basic kids clothes that have 'DAYCARE' marked on them in various Sharpie marker colors. Not obnoxious, but noticible. If something is really ill fitting or uncomfortable for the child I will them choose something else to wear.

The fact that he/she is wearing something else when picked up generally sparks a conversation and we go from there.


On a funny note, when one of my families first started they were 1 and 3. The 1 yr old was of larger build and the 3 year old was very petite. The mornings that dad dressed them you could always tell, because they had each others clothes on and usually backwards. Mom would just be mortified when she picked up the girls' ~ I wouldn't change them ~ I always thought it was kinda cute

[DWTC]

I try not to comment on kids' clothing~it's a personal/family kind of issue, you know? About the only thing I do comment on is when we are potty training, I request easy to manipulate clothing (as we all do).

I have a kind of passive solution; I know many won't agree but it works for me. Over the years I have aquired a collection of basic kids clothes that have 'DAYCARE' marked on them in various Sharpie marker colors. Not obnoxious, but noticible. If something is really ill fitting or uncomfortable for the child I will them choose something else to wear.

The fact that he/she is wearing something else when picked up generally sparks a conversation and we go from there.


On a funny note, when one of my families first started they were 1 and 3. The 1 yr old was of larger build and the 3 year old was very petite. The mornings that dad dressed them you could always tell, because they had each others clothes on and usually backwards. Mom would just be mortified when she picked up the girls' ~ I wouldn't change them ~ I always thought it was kinda cute

That's hilarious!!

One time I dressed my daughter in a dress and I put the buttons in the back...well, it was on backwards and I noticed it looked funny when I picked her up and I said "I put her dress on backwards this morning, didn't I?"
The really funny part is that they thought dad had dressed her that morning!!