DCP Has Full Time Space, Requested To Go To Part Time - Now Changed Her Mind…

[MaritimeMummy]

I am so stunned. I don't know what to think right now. I was feeling overwhelmed because I hadn't had a proper vacation in years. I decided to take a week off. This REALLY upset the DCM of my only full-time child. Not because I'd be leaving her without child care that week, but she was terrified I wasn't going to come back to doing childcare after that. I assured and reassured her that that was not that case, that I just needed a break because I'm burning out, but that I'd come back from the vacation refreshed.

A few days after I told her I was talking vacation, DCM approached me, asking what I'd think of just doing Tuesday to Friday after my vacation. She works from home and she said it would be no problem to just change her hours around, because she's really missing her DD. I told her that whatever she wanted to do, that would be her choice. Inside I was leaping with joy. A 4 day work week. Yay! So we discussed it many times and yes, sure, it was a for sure thing. I talked it over with my other two families and they were peachy keen with it because they are flexible part time spaces anyway.

So anyway, the last week or so, DCM's been dropping DCG off late and picking her up early. I didn't really question it because I get paid the same no matter how long she's here.

So just now, DCM picked up DCG and asked me to be honest and tell her what I want my working hours to be, because she's been finding this whole "dropping her off late and picking her up late" thing very stressful and she's been losing clients. (uhhh, I never asked her to do that). I replied that I am open from 7am to 6pm, and that things are not going to change on that front. But that we had discussed my being closed n Mondays and that we are going to go forward with that because it was basically a case of me saying to her, "okay, you talked me into it!". Well now she's had a change of heart, she says that her husband's job is changing and now they NEED care on Mondays. So now if she gets a client booking on Mondays, she needs to find back-up care.

I can see what's going to happen here...she's going to come back to me and say that things aren't going to work out, that she needs care 5 days a week. I don't know what to do. This DCM basically convinced me to go to 4 days a week, I discussed it with my other parents. I'm so confused. DCM seems to be making things really really difficult on herself and I might end up suffering for it. What should I do? Should I leave it go and hope that maybe she will ultimately be okay with me going to 4 days a week at her original suggestion? Or should I term her and *try* to replace her with a part timer?

[Blackcat31]

I am so stunned. I don't know what to think right now. I was feeling overwhelmed because I hadn't had a proper vacation in years. I decided to take a week off. This REALLY upset the DCM of my only full-time child. Not because I'd be leaving her without child care that week, but she was terrified I wasn't going to come back to doing childcare after that. I assured and reassured her that that was not that case, that I just needed a break because I'm burning out, but that I'd come back from the vacation refreshed.

A few days after I told her I was talking vacation, DCM approached me, asking what I'd think of just doing Tuesday to Friday after my vacation. She works from home and she said it would be no problem to just change her hours around, because she's really missing her DD. I told her that whatever she wanted to do, that would be her choice. Inside I was leaping with joy. A 4 day work week. Yay! So we discussed it many times and yes, sure, it was a for sure thing. I talked it over with my other two families and they were peachy keen with it because they are flexible part time spaces anyway.

So anyway, the last week or so, DCM's been dropping DCG off late and picking her up early. I didn't really question it because I get paid the same no matter how long she's here.

So just now, DCM picked up DCG and asked me to be honest and tell her what I want my working hours to be, because she's been finding this whole "dropping her off late and picking her up late" thing very stressful and she's been losing clients. (uhhh, I never asked her to do that). I replied that I am open from 7am to 6pm, and that things are not going to change on that front. But that we had discussed my being closed n Mondays and that we are going to go forward with that because it was basically a case of me saying to her, "okay, you talked me into it!". Well now she's had a change of heart, she says that her husband's job is changing and now they NEED care on Mondays. So now if she gets a client booking on Mondays, she needs to find back-up care.

I can see what's going to happen here...she's going to come back to me and say that things aren't going to work out, that she needs care 5 days a week. I don't know what to do. This DCM basically convinced me to go to 4 days a week, I discussed it with my other parents. I'm so confused. DCM seems to be making things really really difficult on herself and I might end up suffering for it. What should I do? Should I leave it go and hope that maybe she will ultimately be okay with me going to 4 days a week at her original suggestion? Or should I term her and *try* to replace her with a part timer?

Ok, first off I don't mean this rudely but I don't think it is right for you to say this DCM talked you into doing Tuesday through Friday care as what hours you choose to work and what day syou choose to be open are up to you and shouldn't be placed solely on the needs of one daycare parent/family.

I understand that she was the only one holding you back from having Monday's off but I don't think you can blame this on her. I just think YOU need to make whatever business decisions work for YOU.

I think if you really want to keep a client then you need to be able to offer her the services she needs/wants. If having Monday's off are more important to you then you need to tell her so.

I know this is tough as I had a previous family not need me on Fridays after coming M-F until 5:30 for years and that now needing me so late on Fridays allowed me to be done working at 3:00. Made it nice for me and I really enjoyed the extra time off.

DCM came to me a couple months later and said she decided she now needed Friday care again which meant working until 5:30 again. I decided against it and told her I would take her child but only until 3:30.

Mom wanted care until 5:30 but I was no longer willing to work that late on Fridays so she ended up having to find alternate care, which I knew she would probably do but that was a risk I was willing to take because the extra time off on Friday's was worth it to me.

You need to decide what is and isn't worth it to you and then act accordingly but blaming mom for changing her needs isn't fair IMHO.

[MaritimeMummy]

I should mention that when she approached me about only doing 4 days, it made me realize how much I need an extra day each week. Right now, I have braces adjustments every 4 to 8 weeks, my son has some health problems, I am needing to see a doctor a little bit more often than normal...and in a few months we will be needing to make bank appointments to get things in order to put an addition on the house. I am finding it extremely stressful trying to schedule appointments around 3 families, whereas if I had each Monday GUARANTEED with no DCK's, I wouldn't have to try to juggle my own child care, worrying about if my parents can get the day off, and if they can't get the day off, trying to figure out a way to get to my appointment, get home early so the dck's can still come, and then figure out a way to pick my husband up since we only have one car (yet I have kids until 6 and he's off work at 5) Like, it's just ridiculous trying to have a bit of personal life. So I was really looking forward to that stress in my life going away. Now, each and every Monday, instead of being stress-free, i'm going to be constantly worrying about whether FT DCM ended up needing to find back up care that day. Am I letting my personal feelings get involved, or is what I am trying to do a little unreasonable? I just feel like, if it had been ME that came up with this, that yeah, I should drop the idea of being closed Mondays. But, the fact that DCM came to ME and then changed her mind...I just don't know what I am supposed to be doing.

[MaritimeMummy]

You need to decide what is and isn't worth it to you and then act accordingly but blaming mom for changing her needs isn't fair IMHO.

Here's the reason I disagree with that. She works from home. She runs a business. She told me that she'd just change her hours and not be available on Mondays. Now she is saying she can't turn down any clients. Her needs didn't change. She just had a change of heart and began to realize, "oh no, what have I done?!" i don't think it's fair to me to be the one to approach ME with something she wants, then change her mind after knowing I was going to let the other parents know. So yes, I do blame her. If it truly was a matter of her actual needs CHANGING, I would be more understanding. But the fact of the matter is that she always KNEW that if a client approached her that she couldn't turn them down.

[Blackcat31]

Here's the reason I disagree with that. She works from home. She runs a business. She told me that she'd just change her hours and not be available on Mondays. Now she is saying she can't turn down any clients. Her needs didn't change. She just had a change of heart and began to realize, "oh no, what have I done?!" i don't think it's fair to me to be the one to approach ME with something she wants, then change her mind after knowing I was going to let the other parents know. So yes, I do blame her. If it truly was a matter of her actual needs CHANGING, I would be more understanding. But the fact of the matter is that she always KNEW that if a client approached her that she couldn't turn them down.

I see what you mean but there is nothing now stopping you from saying "Well ya know JoAnn, I really appreciate the business but honestly but having one day off per week now has really shown me how much I do need that time. I am sorry your needs have changed and you will now be needing are on Mondays but I am no longer going to be offering services on Monday. I am sorry but I need to do what works for me and my family. I understand this arrangement was going to work for you and now it doesn't seem to be the case and I am sorry but that is what I have decided to do. If you need to seek other services due to this change, I fully understand. "

You have to be prepared then for her to leave. I know it seems unfair and kind of not polite of DCM to offer to not use you on Mondays but honestly that is exactly how the daycare profession seems to work. A parent says one thing and then changes their mind and wants another. Nature of the beast I guess.

Bottom line though do what works for YOU. If Mondays don't work for you then don't work on Mondays. You might lose a client but sometimes your time/sanity is worth more than that.

[countrymom]

1. can you get an assistant even if its for a couple of hours--problem solved

2. I would be opened mon-fri but from 7-5pm. Trust me, your burning out because of that extra hour.

3. it also seems to me that mom has something up her sleeve.

[lovemykidstoo]

That's a tough one. I would probably see if you can remind her that she broached the subject with you first and you worked with other parents to get the day off to do the things that you listed above. If you will lose her as a customer, then that might be the dealbreaker. You could also try and do a 1/2 day situation. That way you get the afternoon off to get the things you want to get done and she can make appointments in the morning.

I have not worked Fridays in a long long time andI have to tell you it is fabulous. there was a point in time when I ended up only having one little boy and then his mother went to part time and was getting out of work at 12:00 on Friday instead of 5:30. He was the only one I had all day. She said that she would keep him with me all day. I thought, oh no you're not working and you want me to work until 5:30 on a Friday? Nope. I compromised and worked until 1:00. That gave her an hour of free time and got me out by 1:00. I did not take any more on Friday after that. He went to school and walah, I'm off on Fridays. I just simply turn away everyone that needs Fridays now.

If you can work it with her to have the day off, do it!

[MaritimeMummy]

I just sent her a message saying that I could do "on call" care, provided I am not in the middle of a doctor's appointment or an orthodontic adjustment! But that, if she has no clients, I would be closed. Does that sound fair? I told her that she could text me if I was out of the house and I could be home in 30 minutes. Reasonable?

[lovemykidstoo]

If that is what YOU want to do. You're a better person than I. Is she the kind that will have her child come if she's not working? Because she can just say she has clients, when in fact she doesn't?

[Blackcat31]

I just sent her a message saying that I could do "on call" care, provided I am not in the middle of a doctor's appointment or an orthodontic adjustment! But that, if she has no clients, I would be closed. Does that sound fair? I told her that she could text me if I was out of the house and I could be home in 30 minutes. Reasonable?

It does sound reasonable but only you know if that offer is something she will be respectful about or dishonest about.

She also needs to be aware of the fact that she may come ot you and ask for care on Mondays and you won't be able to if you have an appointment that was made in advance and you didn't know at the time she would need you. Would your needs or her needs be first priority? kwim?

[itlw8]

so you work 4 days a week and if she has a client that ONLY can come on Mondays. She calls you and ASKS if you can take a drop in that day for a few hours. If you can you charge her a higher hourly fee. High enough that she ONLY takes those clients that absolutely need a Monday.

[MaritimeMummy]

It does sound reasonable but only you know if that offer is something she will be respectful about or dishonest about.

She also needs to be aware of the fact that she may come ot you and ask for care on Mondays and you won't be able to if you have an appointment that was made in advance and you didn't know at the time she would need you. Would your needs or her needs be first priority? kwim?

Right. I am glad you're bringing these things up. So I guess what I'd do to avoid that is that I'd let her know in advance what time on what Monday I have appointments. That way if she has a last-minute client, she could let them know, "okay, I have availability at X time, but not during X time."As far as the client knows, she's just busy booked up but CAN fit them in. When in reality I'd be finishing up my appointment and getting home for her. I mean, she still needs to find back up care. That's a given, that's been an ongoing issue in the past when I do need to take a day off for whatever reason. But it's my hope that I can really reduce how much she'd need back up care on Mondays, while still having my appointment day off, or mostly off if care is needed last minute. I sincerely know that she wouldn't take advantage and would not send me a text or call me on my day off looking for last-minute care if she didn't have a client.

I am just not sure how I can rework the contract to state all of this without getting too wordy. "Care on Mondays is to be on an "on-call" basis. Provider will let DCM know in advance if there are any appointments made, and what time. DCM should let Provider know on Sunday evening on Provider's home telephone if there are any clients booked. On Monday, if care is needed last -minute, contact should be made by phone call, on Provider's cell phone. If contact has not been made by noon on Monday afternoon, it is assumed care is not required."

Anyone have anything LESS wordy that that while still keeping all of it?

[lovemykidstoo]

I think it sounds tons more easier just to be closed on Monday.

[Blackcat31]

I think that is a good arrangement. It is also a major plus that you have a trusting relationship with this DCM and that you know she isn't going to abuse this situation.

"Care on Mondays is to be on an "on-call" basis. Provider will let DCM know in advance of any appointments made. DCM will let Provider know by Sunday evening if care is need on Monday. Should care be needed last -minute, contact should be immediate to provider's cell phone. If contact has not been made by noon on Monday, it is assumed care is not required."

I only changed a couple words but I think this is direct, to the point and easy for you both to understand and agree to.

[MaritimeMummy]

I think that is a good arrangement. It is also a major plus that you have a trusting relationship with this DCM and that you know she isn't going to abuse this situation.

"Care on Mondays is to be on an "on-call" basis. Provider will let DCM know in advance of any appointments made. DCM will let Provider know by Sunday evening if care is need on Monday. Should care be needed last -minute, contact should be immediate to provider's cell phone. If contact has not been made by noon on Monday, it is assumed care is not required."

I only changed a couple words but I think this is direct, to the point and easy for you both to understand and agree to.

Awesome. Thanks! I really really really don't want her to have to find other care because of this. It's not fair to me that I was lead to believe one thing and I made arrangements with the other parents, but at the same time Blackcat, you're right, it's not fair to her because what she thought she wanted ended up not being what she wanted. We signed a contract saying care was available 5 days a week. She still wants to not take clients on Mondays and wants DCG to be home, but they are really strapped for cash and she NEEDS to take clients if they approach her last minute. I get that. Hopefully this is a good compromise for her. I feel comfortable with it.