Potty Training/ Diapering Max?

[EchoMom]

What are providers' thoughts on potty training and diapering? It used to be that children were commonly potty trained by age 2, but nowadays parents are letting it go later and later even past age 3.


What role do you play in potty training? Do you find that you're more committed to it than parents? I am considering saying that I will not change diapers after age 2.5years old or if that's too unrealistic for parents today because they think it can't be done (but it CAN), at least saying I won't change diapers after age 3 and be willing to kick out current kids if they haven't mastered it by then because the parents aren't even working on it at home.

For me, my 2 year olds will use the potty multiple times a day, even stay dry the whole time at daycare, but then parents are doing NOTHING at home.

Thoughts???

[countrymom]

I agree with you. Now you even see 4 yr olds wearing diapers. Maybe I'm old school but what ever happening to parenting. To me it seems like the children are telling parents what to do. I have to agree too, kids will stay dry all day and even nap without diapers here, but the minute they go home, boom its diaper time.

[SquirrellyMama]

I think we all have our battles and maybe this isn't one that the parents are going to die for. All three of my own kids were potty trained around 3-3.5 years old. Mainly because I had some huge battles with my oldest when she was 2 and decided that we didn't need that drama. I still feel guilty about those battles because they really were my fault. You never know what is behind the parent's reluctance to potty train.

You'll have to decide which is the greater evil: parents not potty training at home after you have done it all week or frustration at having to change diapers for 3 year olds.

I potty trained when it was more work to change a diaper than it was to potty train.

It is one of those issues that have such strong emotions on both sides. Honestly, I think every parenting issue has strong emotions on both sides.

[SquirrellyMama]

I agree with you. Now you even see 4 yr olds wearing diapers. Maybe I'm old school but what ever happening to parenting. To me it seems like the children are telling parents what to do. I have to agree too, kids will stay dry all day and even nap without diapers here, but the minute they go home, boom its diaper time.

I'm ok with this scenario. If they are staying dry for the daycare provider that is great even if they go home to a diaper. I have one that sometimes comes in a diaper and I just have him put on his underwear at my house. That is ok.

[Breezy]

I have heard it is even becoming the norm nowadays to have preschoolers and kindergartners in diapers!

[cheerfuldom]

I dont have an age limit. I personally see 2.5 as an unfair age limit. I would set it at 3.5 or 4 IF I was to set a rule like this at all. But I have never had to diaper any kids over 3.

But its your daycare, your rules. If you dont diaper big kids, there is nothing wrong with saying that.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I can't say I'd be willing to diaper a 4-year-old. But, anything under that is fine for me. I'd rather not be the one to potty train the child. I'd rather they be potty trained at home and then it transfer over.

[Unregistered]

What are providers' thoughts on potty training and diapering? It used to be that children were commonly potty trained by age 2, but nowadays parents are letting it go later and later even past age 3.


What role do you play in potty training? Do you find that you're more committed to it than parents? I am considering saying that I will not change diapers after age 2.5years old or if that's too unrealistic for parents today because they think it can't be done (but it CAN), at least saying I won't change diapers after age 3 and be willing to kick out current kids if they haven't mastered it by then because the parents aren't even working on it at home.

For me, my 2 year olds will use the potty multiple times a day, even stay dry the whole time at daycare, but then parents are doing NOTHING at home.

Thoughts???

I like the way you and counrty mom think. Somehow it became acceptable for 3 and 4 year olds to still wear diapers. My 2 boys where 2 years old when potty trained and my little girl wasnt even 2 yet and trained. I also have a policy in place that all children in my care MUST be trained by age 3 unless its due to them having a medical or mental disability. I have trained 4 daycare kids, one wasnt even 2 yet and the other 3 where 2 when trained. With my kids and daycare kids they wear underwear no pull ups unless its nap time as they are just liek diapers, I take them potty every hour and have them sit for 5 minutes, lots of postive praise for going in the potty, when they go in there pants I explain to them big boys and girls dont pee or poop in there pants they go in the potty usually only take a week or 2 to get them trained. I did have 1 parent who would go home and put a pull up on the child I know because we where friends outside of daycare and our kids would play together when I saw that I called a meeting and told them we have to be a team in this and I cant do it all by myself nor should I have too they said ok and it was taken care of the other 3 parents where great did it the sameway at home that I was doing it in daycare.

[Hunni Bee]

I can't say I'd be willing to diaper a 4-year-old. But, anything under that is fine for me. I'd rather not be the one to potty train the child. I'd rather they be potty trained at home and then it transfer over.

I have a nearly 5 year old who is not potty trained. He's special needs, but its really hard sometimes. This kid poopy literally every 30 minutes. He will use the potty maybe 25% of the time, but he has no concept of telling anyone when he.has to go and mostly just sits on potty and cries.

His mom says he uses it for her at home, but I know this child rules the.roost at home. And if.he doesn't want to potty, then he doesn't potty.

Excuse the random periods, Im on my phone.

[Sprouts]

My daughter was trained by two and i forgot how i did it, i actually dont think i did much , she was in pull ups one day and ready on the toilet the next....

but for those mom who train their boys by 2, what are your secrets! please share!

My son is 21 months and I would love for him to be trained ASAP...

[Crazy8]

I have a nearly 5 year old who is not potty trained. He's special needs, but its really hard sometimes. This kid poopy literally every 30 minutes. He will use the potty maybe 25% of the time, but he has no concept of telling anyone when he.has to go and mostly just sits on potty and cries.

His mom says he uses it for her at home, but I know this child rules the.roost at home. And if.he doesn't want to potty, then he doesn't potty.

Excuse the random periods, Im on my phone.

same thing here - heavy 5 year old in diapers really makes me hate changing them!!!

For younger kids, I do not initiate potty training, parents need to start at home. I tell them over a long weekend/vacation, etc. I have never had an issue. I usually find parents are eager to potty train. I do have some that wait till age 3 - its usually when there is communication issues (late talkers, etc.). I am sure those kids can probably be trained earlier but I have found if you can't potty train in a weeks time then the child isn't ready. I am not going to struggle with potty training for weeks on end, it always happens within 4-6 days for us or we put it off for a few more months. Aside from my special needs child I have never had a child over 3 in diapers.

[texascare]

I think it depends entirely upon the child as well. Do they understand the concept, can they control it, etc. I have a mom doing this new "3 day potty training" thing at home right now. I think a lot of parents send them to us and expect us to do it and not really work with them at home at all. Another thing is the pacifier. I go to the store and see kids who are 3 and 4 with them and that drives me crazy!

[texascare]

Oh I forgot to add, on another note, I have a parent who has been working with their child on potty raining since she was 9 months old and asked me to do the same!

[Blackcat31]

I have my own personal thoughts on potty training (my own children, a son and a daughter were both FULLY trained by age 2) but I am also smart enough to know my own personal feelings and thoughts about toiltet training have absolutely no bearing or impact on what and how a daycare parent feels and will do in regards to training their child so with that thought, I have specific guidelines and rules for my DCP's about potty training.

One is that I make it VERY clear that I will NOT toilet train a child. A parent must start, support and complete the process themselves. I will, however, assist them with their routines and processes. I will NOT take a child to the toilet every 15-30 minutes in the hopes that they will go, I will not dress or undress a child to go and I will NOT ask them every 15-30 minutes.

I will remind them to use the toilet and will assist them in buttoning and snapping ect but the child needs to know how to say he/she needs to use the toilet and they need to be able to do 75% of the dressing and undressing themselves. Again, I will happily assist the child and the parent but will NOT do it for them.

I have a list of things a child should know how to do before attempting to potty train and I give this list to parents so they know what things to work on prior to attempting training. I also do NOT allow children to wear undies without plastic pants or pull ups until they have been accident free for a full two weeks at my house....not accident free at home.

I have not had to deal with a diaper wearing 4 year old in all my years in child care so I am either lucky or have some awesome parents....either way, I don't care but am super glad I don't have to change a child that old.

[Willow]

Sprouts - I don't remember doing anything either! I waited until my kids were ready and then they just did it all on their own, no "training" involved at all! IMHO that's exactly how it should be.



OP - Not to say that many can't be.....but I know plenty of parents who claim their kids are "trained" at age one or two yet still have accidents in the car, during meals, while distracted while playing outside, at night.....that's not trained. That's a child merely dabbling with the skill and a parent with very wishful thinking.

Heck my own parents pushed my sisters pretty hard (there is nearly a 10 year age difference between us so I remember them going through the process well). They were "trained" before the age of two, heavens sake that was touted to everyone....yet they continued having accidents all over the place until at least the age of four. For being forced and with such gumption my one sister became intentionally defiant about the deal and continued to pee and poop her bed until she was nearly 10. They tried alarms, bribes, removal of privileges, controlling her food and water intake after a certain point in the day, forcing her back into diapers, corporal punishment, making her clean up her own messes....it just went on and on. They took her to see doctor after doctor only to be told it was their own doing for thinking they could rule that part of her body. It literally damaged her psyche and she became oppositional to the entire process. When they finally let it go and let her be, she stopped. I am so very glad I learned from that experience and didn't repeat it with my own children. It was such a mess literally every single night.....just ick. I realize psychology is a "soft" science but it's not rooted entirely in theory alone. I do believe you can damage a child by requiring them to acquire this skill in particular.



Not forcing a child to potty train before they're ready has nothing to do with a parent being lazy. I actually see things the opposite way around. Changing diapers can be truly disgusting, is usually an inconvenient task anywhere but at home, and it is a financial pain in the butt. I'm not sure how anyone could call anything involved in that process lazy.



Every child learns at their own pace. Just as I would never set a time limit on when children in my care had to have their colors, numbers, shapes and alphabet memorized I would never set a time limit on when they had to master a skill involving their personal bodily functions.


Add to that I'd much rather change a diaper than scrub up urine and feces anywhere else in my home