The SCARIEST Daycare Moment!

[saved4always]

I would have called 911 right away when the baby was not breathing (or, as in your case, would have had the assistent called since you were doing CPR).

And I would definitely term. I would send a text, an email and probably call....cuz I am one for overkill and would want to make sure they "got the message". That is shocking that the mother did not immediately leave work to get to her child. No one and nothing would have stopped me from getting to my child if I got a call like that! I probably wouldn't have even remembered that I had a boss or a job...I would be THAT single-minded.

And I definitely agree with everyone that you should document the whole sequence of events and have your assistant sign it, too. The mom sounds like someone who would play the blame game (can anyone say heartless b****???!!!!).

Good job on possibly saving this child's life!!!! That baby was so lucky to have you as a caregiver when this happened!!!! happyface

[Francine]

Honestly, I'd term for that behavior.

I seriously think I would too!

[wdmmom]

I don't a ZERO tolerance policy for stupidity and this would definitely classify as just that!

If the situation was as serious as you state, calling 911 should have happened! And, if after calling DCM she still didn't care, I would have called DHS for neglect! She is clearly neglecting her duties as a MOTHER!

She didn't seem to have much if any concern for her ill child. And, if he missed daycare today because he has to go back to the doctor, clearly there is something wrong and she's not disclosing what!

As a parent, I would want my provider to tell me what (if anything) my child may have been exposed to.

Because she's now running her mouth and won't tell you what's wrong, I'd send her a termination notice TODAY!!!

[bunnyslippers]

I would not continue to care for that child. Not for even a day longer. There is no positive spin to place on working with a family like that. Not to mention the liability if something else happens with that child. Shame on that mother! Furthermore, if she is bashing you all over town she is also not someone I would want to work with. If she feels that strongly about you, why on earth would she bring her child to you?!!? Amazing. So sorry you had to deal with that!

[Kaddidle Care]

I read your post and said, "omg, omg! OMG!"

I'm with the girls that said they would term. I certainly wouldn't let the child back in without a Doctor's note. Sounds like RSV.

You did a great job - I'm sure you needed a stiff drink that night!

What a poor excuse for a mother. Poor kid.

[SilverSabre25]

scary, scary, scary! having a child stop breathing for any reason is a big fear of mine...I've had training, I know the stuff in my head, and I know i tend to react well in emergency situations but I'm afraid of this particular one.

(((HUGS))) sahm, I would probably term too. That mother needs a smack in the back of the head to wake her up to the real world...

[MarinaVanessa]

To those who say document. I have to agree. I'm wondering if you are licensed. If you are you may be required to fill out an accidend/injury report and call to notify licensing. I'm in CA and here it's a requirement, so I'd check.

As for the incident itself, all I can say is wow. As I read the original post, I went cold. I'm glad it turned out the way it did and sorry that the mom didn't take it as seriously as she should have.

[Crystal]

It happened very quickly, and what seemed like forever was only seconds. I knew that in a coughing fit opening a window to let the cold air to them would help, so as I was patting his back and checking his mouth for foreign substance I told my assistant to open the window. We were literally within seconds of calling 911. I probably still should have, especially after the way the parents reacted, but I guess once I got him crying and breathing I was just so relieved my head was spinning. How often do you ever hear of this kind of thing happening?! I have attempted to call the parents today, and they are both avoiding me. So do I send a letter to term? A text? What do I do? Leave a voicemail message?

First, let me say, you did well getting him breathing again.

I would still have called 911, as it could have occured again and WHAT IF you couldn't get him breathing again? I can imagine though that you were somewhat in shock and relieved at the same time.

Rarely do I hear of this type of thing occurring.....15 years in the biz and it has yet to happen to me (knock on wood)

If the parents are avoiding you and are refusing to discuss the matter, I would send them a certified letter of termination, with clear, exact details about why. I would not text or call at all at this point. You have done what you can to contact them, they are not answering you, send a cert letter, if they don't accept it, it's on them and you can take them to court for any fees due.

I would also contact licensing to inform them of the incident, AND I would call CPS to report Mom's nonchalance.

Good luck

[sahm2three]

I talked to my licensor this morning right away. She has it all documented. I have saved texts and voicemail messages. I think I have all my bases covered. I am just so worried about the little guy, and for my other families sakes, I would like to know what is going on with him! And for my own family! Do I just assume it is RSV or whooping cough or something?! I still cannot believe it happened. I asked whether or not I should call to report her to DHS and she said that it would just be speculation, and if I felt confident that this is a pattern, to call, but if I didn't then to leave it alone. She said I would just set myself up for retaliation. So I am torn. I am going to get a term letter ready, but OMGosh, I have so much to say but need to keep it to the point. Thank you all! It was the scariest thing ever. I still just can't believe it happened.

[Heidi]

I talked to my licensor this morning right away. She has it all documented. I have saved texts and voicemail messages. I think I have all my bases covered. I am just so worried about the little guy, and for my other families sakes, I would like to know what is going on with him! And for my own family! Do I just assume it is RSV or whooping cough or something?! I still cannot believe it happened. I asked whether or not I should call to report her to DHS and she said that it would just be speculation, and if I felt confident that this is a pattern, to call, but if I didn't then to leave it alone. She said I would just set myself up for retaliation. So I am torn. I am going to get a term letter ready, but OMGosh, I have so much to say but need to keep it to the point. Thank you all! It was the scariest thing ever. I still just can't believe it happened.

You made the right decision!

Write your letter, keep it simple. Do not go into every gory detail, or your feelings. Just the facts and the consequence. Have someone not emotionally involved read it. If nothing else, PM it to me, and I can look it over. Leave out any names, of course!

[Unregistered]

Yesterday, one of the littles that has been sick for weeks, spiked a fever. We called mom and left a message. Within minutes, he started coughing and throwing up. I start cleaning him up and then he starts coughing again and stops breathing!!!! He started to turn blue, I was doing everything I could thing of to get him breathing again, and finally he started crying. I was seconds away from calling 911. My assistant called the mom again, this time at her work, not her cell and this was her reaction after being told what happened, "Well, I will call my husband to see if he can get off of work." My assistant said, "Your child stopped breathing! You need to come get him and take him to the doc or we will call 911!" She huffed and puffed and hung up. About 10 or 15 mins went by and we had not heard anything and so my assistant called back. All the while I am still helping him struggle through coughing. She doesn't answer her cell AGAIN. A couple mins later she texts my cell and says the dad is on his way. Can you believe that?! My reaction would have been, "I am on my way!" I would have shot out the door and not cared what anyone said or thought! My child is #1! NOT any job. I don't care what my job was. So, I am hearing now that she is bad mouthing me to anyone who will listen. I am doing this to safeguard all of the kids. I guess he went to the doc last night and something was wrong and he has to go back again today, but she won't say what is wrong. If there is something contagious, doesn't she need to tell me so that I can warn the other parents?! They are always bringing their kids sick. In the last few weeks I have sent the baby home sick at least once a week! He has been miserable and their #1 has been "we can't miss work". I understand that stress, but no matter what, nothing will EVER be more important than my kids!

You're the provider I NEED. I can't believe this woman! My son went into respiratory arrest multiple times when he was under 2 yo and I was still doing child care. I went broke because I didn't think anyone else knew how to handle his apnea episodes! He's 4 1/2 and I'm STILL scared but I have finally just begun to trust someone with him a couple times a week so I can work. He hasn't stopped breathing to the point he used to since age 3 1/2, but still! He also almost died in 2008 after coming out of a surgery. I didn't work the next 2 weeks. Yes, I lost money...but I refuse to think about what would happen if I had lost my son. He's FIRST. I would probably ask this woman what's up with the kid, is this contagious since there are OTHER kids in your care, and if she's nonchalant and neglectful, report her ass to CPS!