At What Age Do You Expect....

[daycare]

able to sit at the table and eat with fork or spoon?________

able to put on own shoes_____________?

Able to follow two commands?___________ex: sit down and put on your shoes?

able recognize letters in their name or at least the first letter?_________

stop taking a nap??


Of course I know we cannot compare one child to the next, I am just wondering if my expectations are too high. I have been teaching preschool for almost 4 years and for some reason it feels like kids these days are regressing more and more. Or should I say that what my 2&3 year olds could do then, my 3-5 year olds cant now......Hope that makes sense...

[Christian Mother]

able to sit at the table and eat with fork or spoon? between 2 and 3

able to put on own shoes: 2 yrs

Able to follow two commands?ex: sit down and put on your shoes? For me it starts younger then 2 yrs of age as some of mine start to understand giving toys back and saying please and thank you's not to mention at 2 they are putting their clothes back on after going to the bathroom. Some need assistance but pretty much have it.

able recognize letters in their name or at least the first letter? 2 yrs and older..at least that is when I've noticed my 2's being able to recognize their letters and sounds and being able to point out which is there special letter.


Of course I know we cannot compare one child to the next, I am just wondering if my expectations are too high. I have been teaching preschool for almost 4 years and for some reason it feels like kids these days are regressing more and more. Or should I say that what my 2&3 year olds could do then, my 3-5 year olds cant now......Hope that makes sense...

With my son...I tried so hard to teach him the alphabet and for some reason he cld not retain any of it..but as soon as he was placed in a preschool at 3 yrs with a bilingual teacher he picked up very quickly...I have a back ground in teaching i am not sure why I couldn't get my own son to recognize letter s and sounds but another can...it cld just be teaching style or I suck or being in a class room with other children helped him focus...I just cldn't get him to focus on me. But with other children here at the age of 2 had it down...letters and sounds and being able to pick up objects with a letter on it and telling me what it is and the sound. Blows me away...some of them either do well with this or do well in other areas like shapes and colors beyond the circle and square I'm talking about prism, sphere, cone, hexagon, octagon, pentagon...etc.

[daycare]

With my son...I tried so hard to teach him the alphabet and for some reason he cld not retain any of it..but as soon as he was placed in a preschool at 3 yrs with a bilingual teacher he picked up very quickly...I have a back ground in teaching i am not sure why I couldn't get my own son to recognize letter s and sounds but another can...it cld just be teaching style or I suck or being in a class room with other children helped him focus...I just cldn't get him to focus on me. But with other children here at the age of 2 had it down...letters and sounds and being able to pick up objects with a letter on it and telling me what it is and the sound. Blows me away...some of them either do well with this or do well in other areas like shapes and colors beyond the circle and square I'm talking about prism, sphere, cone, hexagon, octagon, pentagon...etc.

my son stayed in the play stages for a very long time. he turned 4 in sept and he just now started picking things up and being able to retain it. I was also like you not able to get his focus. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that its hard to separate home from school. He has a really hard time understanding that transition. especially when the weekends come and go.

I have some kids now that are what I consider way behind. a 3 & a 4 year old still in diapers with no hope to PT soon, can't dress herself, cant put her shoes on, can't sot at the table long enough to eat a meal, can't take more than one direction EVER.

i think that a lot of it has to do with that they are both the youngest in the family and have been babied for a very long time. But they are about to get a rude awaking cuz both moms are about to have babies....

[queenbee]

able to sit at the table and eat with fork or spoon? By 18 Months. Children are MORE than capable of using utensils and sitting at the table once they reach 18 months (normal developing children, of course).

able to put on own shoes? Age 2.

Able to follow two commands? Age 2

able recognize letters in their name or at least the first letter? Between ages 2 & 3.

stop taking a nap?? Never! I'm kidding, but I only have children 4 and under and all take naps. My summer dcgirls are 5 & 6 and they are still required to take a nap during the summer. They are usually the first to fall asleep.

[Meyou]

able to sit at the table and eat with fork or spoon?_I expect them to be able to eat messy things with a spoon without an explosion by 2. I sit them at the table once they start finger foods. _______

able to put on own shoes__2 for most pairs___________?

Able to follow two commands?___2.5________ex: sit down and put on your shoes?

able recognize letters in their name or at least the first letter?____3_____

stop taking a nap?? when they go to school.

[Ariana]

able to sit at the table and eat with fork or spoon?________ starts at 18 months

able to put on own shoes_____________? 3yrs

Able to follow two commands?___________ex: sit down and put on your shoes? an 18 month old should follow 2 commands, but not able to put on shoes

able recognize letters in their name or at least the first letter?_________ 3-4yrs

stop taking a nap??3-4yrs


Of course I know we cannot compare one child to the next, I am just wondering if my expectations are too high. I have been teaching preschool for almost 4 years and for some reason it feels like kids these days are regressing more and more. Or should I say that what my 2&3 year olds could do then, my 3-5 year olds cant now......Hope that makes sense...

This is kind of what my expectations are based on my educaton and experience. All kids are different though!!

[daycare]

so by the looks of everyone else's expectations, I am not expecting too much.

I guess I have my work really cut out for me.

[Ariana]

so by the looks of everyone else's expectations, I am not expecting too much.

I guess I have my work really cut out for me.

Could it be an issue with over praising creating a "lazy" attitude? Maybe trying some descriptive praise to get them intrinsically motivated might help. When kids feel that they are doing things to feel good about themselves inside they tend to push themselves more than kids who are doing it for the external praise. Look up Descriptive Praise for more info....

[Michael]

Here are some milestones from another thread. https://www.daycare.com/fastfacts/de...ilestones.html

[Hunni Bee]

i think that a lot of it has to do with that they are both the youngest in the family and have been babied for a very long time. But they are about to get a rude awaking cuz both moms are about to have babies....

Its sad that they would set their own children up for that. It's going to heartbreaking to them when the babying stops, and the parents are going to find themselves frustrated and sad when they realize they have INFANTS who four years apart in age

I'm starting believe my 2 year old nephew has a speech delay. Not because he isn't talking, but because the words and thought processes are there but the pronunciation isn't. By the time it makes it from his brain to his mouth, its gobble-de-gook. BUT, his self help skills are excellent. He can dress himself with help, feed himself without a mess, cleans up wonderfully, do a two-part instruction...and not only is he the baby, he's the only person under 18 in the entire family.

Its just that we have high expectations of him, and I think that plays a large part in loving your kid. You can have a beautiful ball of clay, but if you do not work with it...you're going to have a lovely lump. JMHO.

[Abigail]

You could always have a "Gaining Independence Week" and tell parents please work on letting your child get dressed or shoes on or try a meal at the table....allow plenty of extra time....find a cute article on it and that should help you along!

I think the answers are all over the board. I have a very indepent 19 month old who can put her shoes on and jacket on and hat on just fine, but she can't just sit and eat so she stays in the highchair still. I've worked with many kids who are almost 4 and throw tantrums when mom/dad comes for them to put on their shoes for them and their jacket.

I make the extra time for the kids to gain independence. This week has been focusing on HELP PLEASE for when they need assistance instead of whining. I have three between 19 and 24 months and they're all going to be great at self help skills!

[Meyou]

Daycare, I've had some DCK's over the years that were completely babied and couldn't do anything for themselves. The most memorable was a 4 year old boy who couldn't even pull jogging pants up and down and asked to be carried up and down stairs. I "tough loved" him. One day I took his pants off and told him he could play when he put them on. It took allllll morning and much screaming but we had no futher problems with teaching him to dress himself. He still struggled but once I showed him he could do it himself his attitude changed. He really thought he couldn't do anything.

[SilverSabre25]

Could it be an issue with over praising creating a "lazy" attitude? Maybe trying some descriptive praise to get them intrinsically motivated might help. When kids feel that they are doing things to feel good about themselves inside they tend to push themselves more than kids who are doing it for the external praise. Look up Descriptive Praise for more info....

Alfie Kohn: Five Reasons to Stop Saying Good Job

[SilverSabre25]

able to sit at the table and eat with fork or spoon?___by two for spoon, 2.5 for fork_____

able to put on own shoes___really depends on the shoe, but I expect attempts by about 2.5______?

Able to follow two commands?___should be by 18 mos to 2_____

able recognize letters in their name or at least the first letter?__depends a LOT on how much they've been worked with, but usually by 3 to 3.5____

stop taking a nap?? MOST children, 3.5 or 4

Almost all these things though, depend highly on how much exposure they've had to it and how much freedom they are given to try, and fail, and try again, and be given constructive help.

[Heidi]

Alfie Kohn: Five Reasons to Stop Saying Good Job

Interesting article. I'm not sure I agree 100%, but I will try to be more mindful of mindlessly saying "good job" constantly.

I say I don't totally agree, because to me, part of the message when you say "good job" is that you should "please your elders", and I don't know that this is entirely wrong. It's one thing not to give your child negative messages about who they are, but is there really anything wrong with giving them positive messages, AND the message that they should try to please you on occasion? Should they live to please others, no. Should they care what their parents or caregivers or teachers think, you bet! Eventually, they will internalize those messages, but a 2 year old hasn't. They are not going to do something out of the goodness of their heart.

The word "Respect" is thrown around alot in early childhood ed. Respectful interactions with children, etc. There should almost be two words for respect. The kind of respect you have for another human being; that is what children should recieve. I actually think it's disrespectful to lie to a child. Make them THINK they have a choice, for instance, when they don't. "Could you please pass the salt" is a choice. "Could you please sit down on that chair (vs. standing)" is not a choice. It's more honest to say "I want you to sit down" or the old "chairs are for sitting on", or even "sit down".

Then there is the kind of respect one EARNS, by being a parent, a grandparent, a police officer, the boss, etc. A child has not earned that sort of respect, and sometimes I think that's where people get sidetracked?

Gosh...who asked for a speech from me? no one...sorry!