Excited, Worried. New Client Tell Me I'm Not Crazy

[Unregistered]

I am a regular, but logged out.

I just landed 3 new families, that will all start next month.

One of the families referred the other two families. All will be full time.

So this weekend, I learned that family 1 (the one that referred the others) the mom works for my county licensing and works directly under my licencor.

Since learning this about family 1, I am feeling really apprehensive. Not because I have anything to hide, but because I am worried that the mom will go into work and vent to my Licencor if she ends up not liking something about my program. Next thing you know I am getting visits non-stop. I have never had any violations or anything bad happen ever, I just can't help feel worried.

I am excited that I impressed the mom so much that she brought me more business and am excited about filling all of my spots. BUT I can't help but be nervous.

Any words of advice?

[Heidi]

I would def. have a heart to heart talk with mom. Be honest with her and share yor concern. Just so you are both on the same page, if she EVER has a problem or concern, she should please come to you first.

You know things will come up, but you are a little concerned because everyone sometimes needs to vent. It would be nice if she doesn't choose her boss to vent to! IF you don't like something, talk to me (you), and we will come up with a solution!

[mac60]

I would pry tell her that it isn't going to work out and make us some excuse. I would not want to have someone from licensing in my home 2 times per day. Nothing to hide here either, but this job is stressful enough with out that added stress. All it takes is one little issue, and that is it. I was in a similar situation recently, and cancelled the interview. From now on when people call and want to set up an interview, I am going to get "where they work" information right away to alleviate the issue in the future.

The person I cancelled the interview with worked for children services and had all available services within her own office, meaning names of licensed providers in our county (we don't have to be licensed here), yet she told me she didn't know of any providers and got my name from a past family. My guess, she knew licensed providers but for whatever reason didn't want to use their services....kind of fishy to me.

[Unregistered]

I don't think that getting out of it was what I am looking to do, plus if I tell this family I can't work for them, I am sure the other two will follow. I don't mind that I will offer my services to someone who is in Licensing. I am just nervous and wanted some advice on how to deal with the mom.

Has anyone ever worked for a family that worked for licensing?

[wdmmom]

I don't think that getting out of it was what I am looking to do, plus if I tell this family I can't work for them, I am sure the other two will follow. I don't mind that I will offer my services to someone who is in Licensing. I am just nervous and wanted some advice on how to deal with the mom.

Has anyone ever worked for a family that worked for licensing?

Don't let her beyond your front door. I don't let any of my families beyond my foyer. No staying and hanging out, no chit chatting, no taking your shoes off and kicking back for awhile.

I really don't see you having to worry about anything if you are complying with regulations.

I would however be concerned with licensing showing up if they terminate services.

One thing I've come to realize: You can do your darnest to please every one of your families but it'll never happen. There's always going to be that bad apple that isn't completely happy (whether it be your rates or your rules or something). Just be prepared if your relationship goes down ugly that it will get even uglier.

[cheerfuldom]

I'd be more nervous about any one of the families getting upset and taking all the others with them than about licensing.....do NOT bend any rule for any one of them because more than likely, they will compare notes amongst themselves and try and get that too. It's almost like having a lot of kids from one family in your care....sometimes they will take advantage of the fact that they have a large portion of your income in their control.

[nannyde]

I'd be more nervous about any one of the families getting upset and taking all the others with them than about licensing.....do NOT bend any rule for any one of them because more than likely, they will compare notes amongst themselves and try and get that too. It's almost like having a lot of kids from one family in your care....sometimes they will take advantage of the fact that they have a large portion of your income in their control.

Yup

Pretty much a double whammy... the parent is over you with your license and they have a connection with two other families.

It's good when it's good.

Not so good when it isn't.

VERY risky. All of the three families will be there with an umbrella of protection that the license worker mom brings. It could make it difficult to inforce policies and keep them all happy.

Keep arrivals and departures BREIF.

NEVER discuss EVER the other families with each other.

DO NOT allow them to visit each others kids.

Be really careful with behavior or sick info.

Never allow any one of them to speak as a group concern to you.

Don't allow them to be each others back up or pick each others kids up.

Don not host their playdates with each other or their birthday/special parties with each other.

Don't allow them to come up with special activities you can do with their kids as a group.

Don't pass invites back and forth... nothing back and forth between the families.

Be prepared to have problems with all if one has a problem and be prepared to loose them all if one of the parents or kids has behavior issues.

[MyAngels]

I guess it depends on how your licensing agency is as to how I would deal with them. I've had several licensing reps over the years and all but one have been easy to work with, more about just trying to keep their daycare homes in compliance rather than trying to "catch" them doing something wrong.

I wouldn't worry too much about it, maybe just have a chat with the mom if you feel comfortable doing that. She knows as well as anyone how difficult it is to find good child care, so I would be flattered that she chose me and also felt comfortable enough to refer you to other people.

[CountryMommy]

The owner of my dayhome agency has her children enrolled in my dayhome. At first I was pretty nervous because this meant that licensing would be able to see everything in my home every day the kids were here. Not only that, but whatever happened at my home, the children could talk about it. I don't have anything to hide, but I was nervous about it as we all know things children say can easily be misinterpreted. And there's always the chance of me not having everything done according to licensing.

I agree that it is a risk. It could go south really fast. But for me, it's been working very well. These children have been with me for 4 months and everything has gone very smoothly. If the mom does see something that I need to change or if there's a new licensing rule, she'll let me know in a friendly and polite way. I'll get it done as soon as I can, and everyone's happy. I've had zero issues with having this family.

So even though it could be bad, it doesn't necessarily have to be and it hasn't been for me.

[Crystal]

I would not worry abut it. If you follow regs, you should be fine. Obviously she thinks very highly of you and feels you are an excellent provider or she would not have referred others already.

Good luck

[Michelle]

I had a parent that was a social worker...
She loved me and I loved her and her son.
I got to ask a lot of hypothetical advise (nothing serious) and she got to have her son loved and cared for..
It was a little nerve racking at first but they are just regular people and as long as you are doing what you are suppose to everything should be fine.

I also have a parent that's a psychologist and I used to think he was going to "shrink me" ::::
But he is so cool and funny and even ask's me for parenting advise.
Just remember, they are just regular people with a job in an agency and the more calm, relaxed and professional you are ,the more they will respect you.

They will be very suspicious if you drop them so go for it and show them how awesome you are!!!

[Crystal]

Yup

.

VERY risky. All of the three families will be there with an umbrella of protection that the license worker mom brings. It could make it difficult to inforce policies and keep them all happy. How would it be difficult to enforce policies? Treat them as any other parent.



NEVER discuss EVER the other families with each other. As should be with ALL families

DO NOT allow them to visit each others kids. How on earth can she enforce that? THAT is not her business, and clearly these people are friends or they would not have been referred. I think what you suggest here is impossible.

Be really careful with behavior or sick info. Again, as with ALL families

Never allow any one of them to speak as a group concern to you. I agree

Don't allow them to be each others back up or pick each others kids up.
Another one I do not see how you can enforce. If they are listed as alternate pick up, it's not up to the provider to say they cannot do so

Do not host their playdates with each other or their birthday/special parties with each other. Again, as should be with ALL families

Don't allow them to come up with special activities you can do with their kids as a group.

Don't pass invites back and forth... nothing back and forth between the families.yes, considering they know each other they should be able to do this outside of daycare

Be prepared to have problems with all if one has a problem and be prepared to loose them all if one of the parents or kids has behavior issues.THIS is probably the biggest risk.

Nanny.....sometimes I wonder where you come up with some of your ideas and opinions?????? :confused::confused:

[Meeko]

I think my concern would be her trying to push "special". Hoping you'll cave because you don't want to make waves with licensing. Not sure I'd want to always want to be on alert for that.

It's kind of a non-verbal blackmail...."Be extra accomodating, or it could go badly at your next review" type of thing.

[Blackcat31]

A couple years after I first opened I had my licensor's children in care.

Everything went really smooth. I never had an issue with her or vice versa.

She did end up giving her two week notice about two years in.......because she had difficulty seeing other clients I had that she was currently "seeing" (aka: investigating) as part of her job. (Back then my licensor was also the in-take coordinator for child protective services).

This was also way back when I was a newbie and took any family interested in being here.

I currently have the head of our Human Services Dept.'s child, 2 State Trooper's children, 1 city policeman's child, 2 kids who's parents work in the probation dept and a county jailer's kids in care. :-)

[Country Kids]

Nanny.....sometimes I wonder where you come up with some of your ideas and opinions?????? :confused::confused:

Thank you for bolding my answers Crystal, I'm glad someone did that for me! Actually I was thinking the same things but you responded before me with the same things I was thinking.