2 Year Old Still Nursing

[Guest]

I just found out that one of my two year old dcb's is still nursing to go to sleep.

I don't care that she is still nursing, what I care about is that she didn't tell me till now. He has been here since July. Also, he was horrible to train to sleep here. For a whole month I struggled to get him to sleep here for one nap per day. I was in constant communication with her about how hard it was. How he would cry for a whole hour.

Never once did she say " well, he nurses to sleep still at home."

He is only here three days per week so he is nursing more then not.

Why can't parents just be honest?

I don't know how I would have felt about weening a child off of nursing during the days he is here. She never gave me the chance to make the choice.

[Cat Herder]

Why can't parents just be honest?

She never gave me the chance to make the choice.

Unfortunately you answered your own question.

I resent it when they do this stuff, too....

It is unfair to you and the child.

[Kaddidle Care]

Grrrr! Some people are embarassed that their child is still nursing after a year.

Shame on her not telling you especially when you were telling her that her child was totally distraught at naptime.

She took the easy and gave you the hard. Sorry you had to go through that.

[KBCsMommy]

Thats horrible. How could she not tell you that...or even lied and said well he still sleeps with me. She outright lied to you.

Im glad you worked with him. I have a dcb almost 4 who still has boobies for bedtime!!! Thats what he says!! ::

Thankfully Ive never had any issues putting him down, hes a great kid!!

[Sprouts]

:::::::::: "Boobies for bedtime" OMG I hope thats not my son, he just turned one and unfortunately pain in the butt to put to sleep, hooked on my boobies haha...

i just got the baby whisperer book and trying to find time to read it (maybe if I peel my eyes of this website!) UGH It hurts me to do the crying out method (both times he came down with a very bad virus and had febrile seizures) so I am kind of tramautized about that....

[cheerfuldom]

it wasn't right of her not to tell you, especially after hearing that he was crying and struggling day after day. I don't have a problem with extended breast feeding but I am sure that she did not tell you for fear that you would judge her or convince her to quit. its unfortunate that he went thru all those tough days

[Nellie]

I have a 16 month dcb that still nurses to sleep and co sleeps. He has been here 3 months and I still have a hard time getting him down. Lucky if he sleeps an hour. I did know about it right before he started, but it was only because the husband was complaining about it. I believe the reason she didn't mention it was because of embarrassment. I have a 18 month old son who still uses a bottle. I know that he shouldn't use it. I don't let him use it in front of others because I don't want to hear "oh your too big for a bottle." I nursed my kids for 10 months and people still always were commenting about it, wondering how long I'd let it go on, ect. I think that is one reason people are more secretive about it. It isn't the norm. She should have said something to you though.

[Growing1atime]

Yes she should have.

When I first interviewed her she told me that he would be difficult to get down for a nap and to just let him cry it out. When I would make comments about him being very emotional even if naptime was mentioned, she would say "wow at home he asks for nap time, he loves to go night night. He will come up to me and say momma night night."

Well no wonder!

[Unregistered]

I nurse my own too.

I have two children that I nurse to sleep and two from home daycare that nurse to sleep and honestly it has not been a problem and I dont see how it should be. They know that their mommy nurses them to sleep and I pat them on the back. They have fallen asleep easily with me. It makes no difference to me if they nurse with mom or not. They will understand that with me it will be different just like when my kids have their father at night to go to sleep. My husband has his way of putting them to sleep that works for him. My mom puts my kids her way and I put them down my way.
At first it's hard for any child to take a nap at a strangers house. I would have for a caregiver to think that my child would be difficult to nap because I chose to nurse him/her.

[Unregistered]

I just found out that one of my two year old dcb's is still nursing to go to sleep.

I don't care that she is still nursing, what I care about is that she didn't tell me till now. He has been here since July. Also, he was horrible to train to sleep here. For a whole month I struggled to get him to sleep here for one nap per day. I was in constant communication with her about how hard it was. How he would cry for a whole hour.

Never once did she say " well, he nurses to sleep still at home."

He is only here three days per week so he is nursing more then not.

Why can't parents just be honest?

I don't know how I would have felt about weening a child off of nursing during the days he is here. She never gave me the chance to make the choice.

UH why do parents feel the need to baby there children a 2 year old does NOT need to nurse to me thats gross if they can just walk up and ask for the boob then they dont need to be nursing babies do not NEED breastmilk after the age of 1 years old I dont see nothing wrong with breastfeeding till age 1 or even 18 months but after that I really dont see the point in it. I think some moms are more attached to the nursing then the child actually is. Poor child she is just making things harder for him at your house during nap time and making things harder on you.

[nannyde]

UH why do parents feel the need to baby there children a 2 year old does NOT need to nurse to me thats gross if they can just walk up and ask for the boob then they dont need to be nursing babies do not NEED breastmilk after the age of 1 years old I dont see nothing wrong with breastfeeding till age 1 or even 18 months but after that I really dont see the point in it. I think some moms are more attached to the nursing then the child actually is. Poor child she is just making things harder for him at your house during nap time and making things harder on you.

Gross?

Are you serious?

You know kids breast feed to the age of five all over the world. Breastmilk is perfect nutrition. I don't care if they breast feed till they want to quit.

The problem here isn't the feeding. The problem is not telling the provider that he can't get to sleep unless he's attached to her and sucking. Not telling the provider that was lying by omission. The parent had many opportunities to tell the provider the truth when the provider went to her OVER AND OVER again saying the kid couldn't get himself to sleep. Making it sound like he gladly goes to nap at home and not mentioning that she is doing something with him that can't be replicated in day care is L-Y-I-N-G.

Parental lying is a HUGE problem in child care.

[littlemommy]

UH why do parents feel the need to baby there children a 2 year old does NOT need to nurse to me thats gross if they can just walk up and ask for the boob then they dont need to be nursing babies do not NEED breastmilk after the age of 1 years old I dont see nothing wrong with breastfeeding till age 1 or even 18 months but after that I really dont see the point in it. I think some moms are more attached to the nursing then the child actually is. Poor child she is just making things harder for him at your house during nap time and making things harder on you.

The average weaning age worldwide is age 4. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until age 2 for the many health benefits.

DS will be 2 in January, and I am also expecting our 2nd around his birthday. I will probably tandem nurse unless he decides to wean by then. I'm not embarrassed at all! He only nurses at naptime and bedtime, but will go to sleep well for my husband and my mom.

[MarinaVanessa]

I just found out that one of my two year old dcb's is still nursing to go to sleep.

I don't care that she is still nursing, what I care about is that she didn't tell me till now. He has been here since July. Also, he was horrible to train to sleep here. For a whole month I struggled to get him to sleep here for one nap per day. I was in constant communication with her about how hard it was. How he would cry for a whole hour.

Never once did she say " well, he nurses to sleep still at home."

He is only here three days per week so he is nursing more then not.

Why can't parents just be honest?

I don't know how I would have felt about weening a child off of nursing during the days he is here. She never gave me the chance to make the choice.

Now you have me curious as to where you live, you wouldn't happen to live in CA would you? Let's say Ventura County? I swear you have my old DCM ::. I had a DCM that came here up until July that breastfed her son and he was 2 (just turned 2 in July). I still watch him from time to time as a drop-in client but man oh man, that boy is catered to his every whim.

My DH saw her at Target a few weeks back and said that at first all he heard was a loud screaming "BOOBIE NOW! MOMMY BOOBIE NOW!" and that's when he realized that it was them. Apparently he was clawing at her shirt trying to pull the milk jugs out right then and there and she just looked embarrassed at that and because she was holding up the entire line.

This is the same dcb that when he is upset cries until he pukes and dcm just talks ever so weakly. Not softly but weakly, you know the type. The ones that while their kid is wailing away screaming at the top of their lungs while clawing at her and smacking her all the while her response is is half-hearted "Mommy does like that [dcb]. Why are you doing that [dcb]? Mommy really doesn't like that. Ouch [dcb], ouchie. You know I don't like that. I don't know why you do that." TO A TWO YEAR OLD!!! He of course won't pull this on me, he knows better. I'll look right into his eyes and give him a firm "NO HIT. NO. NOT NICE. NO" and he stops but then looks over to mom and mommy scoops him up and gives him some oohs and awws and starts to fuss and reason with him .

For the record my dcm had told me that he was off the boobie also, not that I believed her because he clawed and smacked at her chest at drop-off and pick-up but I get what you mean. It's the fact that they didn't tell me or told me otherwise that really bothered me.

Now I don't have anything against nursing past one, in fact I miss nursing (my 11mo stopped nursing at 6mo we figured out he was lactose) but I can't see myself nursing past the age when they have a good set of teeth going. Kudos to those out there that did it but my baby was all gums and managed to get me quite a few times so I can imagine when they have a good set of chompers in .

[Lucypch]

Why breastfeed toddler

Allergy Prevention

My second little boy was so attached to nursing that I became (reluctantly) a toddler nurser. He ate absolutely no solid food until he was 17 months old. Even La Leche League veterans suggested that the situation was, well, unusual. Looking back, I think my baby's wisdom was in avoiding possible allergens. Studies (as well as anecdotal evidence) indicate that breastfeeding reduces the incidence of allergies." My first child, who was solely formula fed, had all sorts of food allergies, including rice and dairy products. In hindsight, my second child's lengthy, exclusive breastfeeding makes sense. Most likely, it was nature's way of protecting him from foods his body just was not ready to process. Undoubtedly, some children need longer than others to "outgrow" their allergies, and breastmilk provides the ideal support for their developing immune systems.

Nutrition

Good nutrition is admittedly tricky with toddlers. On some days they cram every morsel offered into their mouths, and other days you can't coax them to take a bite of even their favorite food. In short, they're picky eaters, and their appetites are capricious and unpredictable.

One popular myth that even pediatricians promote is that breastfeeding somehow loses its nutritional quality after the first year. In reality, the benefits change, but they are still there. Does it really make sense that after 12 months of providing your baby with optimal nutrition the breasts suddenly get "stupid" and start making something "less than optimal"? Obviously, the addition of solid foods changes the balance, but breastmilk is still an important element in the diet while your baby is sampling what the world has to offer. Certainly, there can be no harm in continuing with nature's perfect food.

Speech Development

In general, it's believed that breastfeeding provides better development of the teeth and jaws than sucking a hard, unnaturally shaped nipple.' Margaret Connor, a 35 year old mother in Austin, Texas, has discussed the subject at length with her son's speech therapist. Both of them believe that Connor's five year old son's speech/motor apraxia would have been worse if his muscles had not been "worked out" through extended nursing. If nothing else, Connor is happy she made the decision she did. "At least I won't look back and wonder if his articulation would have been better if I had breastfed longer than a year," she says.

Fighting Dehydration during Illness

Unfortunately, toddlers, breastfed and otherwise, get sick. Some get sick a lot, especially those in child care and those with older siblings. When my 14 monthold son got bronchitis, he wouldn't eat or drink anything other than breastmilk. Had he not been breastfeeding, the situation could have turned into a nightmare. When a bottle fed baby gets dehydrated, the parents have to struggle to get oral rehydration products down the child. When this tactic doesn't work, pediatricians have no choice but to order an IV for the child at the hospital. This is not only traumatic for a toddler, but it also exposes him to other germs that could complicate the original infection. With breastfeeding, you can almost always get the child to nurse, which might even save his life! Further, it comforts the mother. It feels so much better to be able to help your child through illness in a uniquely positive way.

Weight Loss for Mom

It's accepted that a woman's body stores up enough fat during pregnancy to exclusively feed her infant for at least the first six months. While there are few studies on this topic, anecdotal evidence suggests that a mother's weight loss may continue during the second year of nursing a baby. The fact is, Mother Nature never intended for human babies to be weaned from their mothers in the early months, so our bodies make sure we have plenty of fat stored up for years.

For the first year, our bodies seem to like to stay soft, almost like a cushion for the infant. After that time, the weight is not quite so resistant to leaving. The increased calorie requirements of toddlers help the process of weight loss as well. For every day she nurses, a lactating woman uses an extra 500 calories. Personally, I found that stubborn fat stores that had lived on my thighs for years melted away during the second year of nursing.

Delayed Menstruation

For those women using Natural Family Planning or the Fertility Awareness Method for birth control, breastfeeding provides a bonus. Research done by the Kippleys in The Art of Natural Family Planning showed that a nursing mother who uses no supplements for the first four to six months gets her first postpartum period on average after 13 to 16 months.' Among the ! Kung tribe, babies are spaced about 4 8 months apart all due to exclusive breastfeeding.' Contrast this with the usual six to eight weeks for a bottle feeding mother. Naturally, PMS and the other related troubles usually disappear for as long as the periods stay away, and the return of fertility is also put off. In addition, delayed menstruation means decreased exposure to estrogen, which may protect against cancer of the breast and reproductive organs. Breast cancer risk is associated with earlier menarche and later menopause, which points to estrogen exposure as a risk factor for the disease."

It's Good for the Planet

Breastfeeding is the best ecological thing going. No cups to wash, no bottles to sterilize, and nothing for the landfill. Postponing the use of cows' milk helps our planet. Because of their methane gas emissions, cows are major destroyers of the atmosphere.'o Overgrazing of land is responsible for serious ecological troubles, as well. As a bonus, the baby is not exposed to the unhealthy hormones and antibiotics injected into dairy cows.


What are the benefits of breastfeeding my toddler?
Toddlers breastfeed for many of the same reasons infants breastfeed: for nutrition, comfort, security, for a way to calm down and for reassurance. Mothers breastfeed their toddlers for many of the same reasons they breastfeed their infants: they recognize their children's needs, they enjoy the closeness, they want to offer comfort, and they understand the health benefits. (See the FAQ, "What are the Benefits of Breastfeeding My Baby?" for more information.) The American Academy of Pediatrics currently recommends that "Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child.." * The World Health Organization and UNICEF recommend that babies be breastfed for at least two years.

Breastfeeding a toddler helps with the child's ability to mature. Although some experts say a toddler who is not weaned will have difficulty becoming independent, it's usually the fearful, clingy children that have been pushed into situations requiring too much independence too soon. A breastfeeding toddler is having his dependency needs met. The closeness and availability of the mother through breastfeeding is one of the best ways to help toddlers grow emotionally.

Breastfeeding can help a toddler understand discipline as well. Discipline is teaching a child about what is right and good, not punishment for normal toddler behavior. To help a toddler with discipline, he needs to feel good about himself and his world. Breastfeeding helps a toddler feel good about himself, because his needs are being met.

Just as babies do, toddlers receive health benefits from breastfeeding. Your milk continues to provide immunities and vitamins, and can help protect your toddler from illness and allergies. If your toddler does get sick, nursing will help comfort him. In fact, a toddler with an upset stomach may be able to tolerate nothing but human milk.

Toddlers have a huge world to explore, and breastfeeding provides them (and their mothers!) with some quiet time in their busy, waking hours.

[Lucypch]

I'm sorry she lied to you or feels embarrassed. It's really sad that mothers feel embarrassed to share that they are doing something wonderful for their little ones and unfortunately our society does not support nursing. Ask her how others put her little one to sleep. Maybe her partner can put baby to sleep here and there and can work with you to figure out what works.
One of my DC kids I had to just rock him until he feel asleep then place down. Now I just ask him to lay down pat his back and play music.
I'm consistent with him and he knows the routine well enough now.

Good luck. I know naps can be frustrating sometimes.