Soooooo Ticked Off!!!

[sahm2three]

How long has mom been back?

It is often harder on the military child when the parent comes back than when than parent leaves.

About a month. She came back right after dad passed away. She was gone over a year. So, dad passes away, mom comes back after being away for over a year, older sister starts school and is gone half the day, but yeah, it's my fault he is having issues.

[sharlan]

The grandmother was out of line.

Kids who haven't been what this child has been through act like this.

My 4yo (grandson) has lived here (along with his parents and sister) his whole life. All of a sudden, he wants to go with whoever is walking out the door. It doesn't matter if it's a friend of mine, a daycare parent, his aunt and uncle, his cousins' other grandparents, etc. He cries and throws fits until he chokes. This is a child who's never been one to throw temper tantrums, but let somebody exit my front door and he becomes hysterical.

He says, "I don't like my home. I don't like my toys. I don't like my bedroom." The only thing in his life that has changed is I started watching two older boys.

6 mos ago, he refused to make contact with anybody, now he wants to go with total strangers.

[sharlan]

Is there now a power struggle between the grandmother and the mother? The mom was gone, grandma was in control, her son died, and now this stranger has come into the picture.

[familyschoolcare]

About a month. She came back right after dad passed away. She was gone over a year. So, dad passes away, mom comes back after being away for over a year, older sister starts school and is gone half the day, but yeah, it's my fault he is having issues.

I was not their so I can not read grandmas body language and I am a military family myself so my take on it is a little different.

From what I have gathered from the situation the child is most likely adjusting to all the changes and grandma and mom can not controll any of them and do not whant to think that they are adding in any way to the child's problems so they naturaly to some level "blame You" this is normal behavior. I know that does not make it easier for you to deal with.

From the child's point of view in a very short period of time dad dies, then mom comes home and sister goes to school. So the child does not know wiehter or not to be happy or sad and is most likely afraid that grandma will leave and/or mom will have to leave again (which unless she got out is still possible we are still fighting a war).

I know first hand that dealing with a child that has just had a parent return form military duty can be very difficult. The best thing you can do for the child is what you have already been doing offer the only stablity he has right know.

By the way do you know if the child is seeing a military counsolar because the military will pay for it for a period of time since mom just returned PM me if you or mom whant more information on this.