3-Month-Old Crying Nonstop In Daycare

[Guest]

My dd started daycare yesterday and has been crying almost nonstop for both days. She'll stop for a few 5-15 minute clips or to take a 30-minute nap, but other than that it's nonstop crying. She's not been colicky the whole 12 weeks we've been at home.

Has this happened to anyone else? Is there anything I or my care provider can do to help her adjust better? Hearing that she's crying all day makes me want to cry myself.

[Chickenhauler]

Few questions up front-

First child?

Do you tend to hold/carry the child alot at home?

Has the child had the opportunity to interact with other adults, specifically without you present, and how does the child react to that?



Not bashing you (first time parents are always nervous, they don't want their bundle of joy out of their sight), but it sounds like the child is having withdrawal issues. It's normal, it's part of growing up and maturing, we all went through it. Better now than 5 years old.

A favorite blanket that may smell like you, a favorite toy, mainly something familiar is the key.

[seashell]

I don't think seperation anxiety can be the problem in a child this young. It could be a sensory issue. The lighting is too bright, the noise level is too high. Do you hold your child all day? This could also be an issue. Ask the provider to swaddle your child and see if this helps.

[Guest]

I do hold her a lot at home. We've been doing attachment parenting, and I'm wondering now if that was a mistake. My first two days at work, she was at my parents' house, watched by my mom and dad on the first day, and my aunt on the second day. She did fine with them, only crying for about an hour during the whole day. It was just since I've switched her to daycare that it changed.

She cries even when the daycare provider holds her (which is a lot). I sent her with 2 toys from home, a jacket with my scent on it, and my Ergo baby carrier, which usually calms her at home.

[Guest]

Oh yes, I am a first-time mom. Could you tell? :-)

Thanks for the tip about swaddling. I will ask her to try it.

[mac60]

To do attachment parents and not stay home with your child is from my understanding kind of hard to do. You can't honestly expect a dc provider to carry your child around on them all day in some type of sling. I would never do it, my back would never cut it.

Sometimes parents need to make choices in the decisions of their young ones, as some choices are not feasible when a child is in daycare. Swaddling does work on my babies.

[Guest]

I use the term "attachment parenting" loosely. i don't expect her to carry her around in a sling all day. But I think we may have figured out the problem anyway. The daycare provider is nursing her 4 month old as well. We're thinking my daughter smells her milk and is upset that she can't have it out of the breast - that would explain why she was okay all day with my aunt but not at daycare. Not sure what the solution is...

[Danielle]

First off, you've done nothing wrong!! I am a home daycare provider and a mom that practices attachment parenting. I have babies (now and past) that have moms that's have the same parenting views. Trying to bottle feed someone else's nursling and being a nursing mom does have difficulties. But it's possible. Each baby I have to figure out what's best for that baby. One baby only ate facing away from me. One, I couldn't hold while feeding. Another I had to have a blanket from home draped on my shoulder. While another didn't seem to notice. I have a Mei Tei, Moby and a Maya wrap. Some babies prefer different ones. I see nothing wrong with expecting a provider to hold your baby as much as they need...yes, the need it at that age. This is why I only have 1 baby in my care at a time. Babywearing is great b/c it calms the baby but my hands are still free to care for the toddler. The baby I have in my care now was alot like your child. The first week or so, he spent alot of time in the sling with me dancing. He did adjust. If your provider is not willing to do what it takes to make your baby happy, find another provider. Infants are demanding and if a provider is going to care for one, they have to be prepared for that.

And last but not least.. many hugs!

[Michael]

First off, you've done nothing wrong!! I am a home daycare provider and a mom that practices attachment parenting. I have babies (now and past) that have moms that's have the same parenting views. Trying to bottle feed someone else's nursling and being a nursing mom does have difficulties. But it's possible. Each baby I have to figure out what's best for that baby. One baby only ate facing away from me. One, I couldn't hold while feeding. Another I had to have a blanket from home draped on my shoulder. While another didn't seem to notice. I have a Mei Tei, Moby and a Maya wrap. Some babies prefer different ones. I see nothing wrong with expecting a provider to hold your baby as much as they need...yes, the need it at that age. This is why I only have 1 baby in my care at a time. Babywearing is great b/c it calms the baby but my hands are still free to care for the toddler. The baby I have in my care now was alot like your child. The first week or so, he spent alot of time in the sling with me dancing. He did adjust. If your provider is not willing to do what it takes to make your baby happy, find another provider. Infants are demanding and if a provider is going to care for one, they have to be prepared for that.

And last but not least.. many hugs!

Welcome to the forum Danielle.

[SilverSabre25]

First off, you've done nothing wrong!! I am a home daycare provider and a mom that practices attachment parenting. I have babies (now and past) that have moms that's have the same parenting views. Trying to bottle feed someone else's nursling and being a nursing mom does have difficulties. But it's possible. Each baby I have to figure out what's best for that baby. One baby only ate facing away from me. One, I couldn't hold while feeding. Another I had to have a blanket from home draped on my shoulder. While another didn't seem to notice. I have a Mei Tei, Moby and a Maya wrap. Some babies prefer different ones. I see nothing wrong with expecting a provider to hold your baby as much as they need...yes, the need it at that age. This is why I only have 1 baby in my care at a time. Babywearing is great b/c it calms the baby but my hands are still free to care for the toddler. The baby I have in my care now was alot like your child. The first week or so, he spent alot of time in the sling with me dancing. He did adjust. If your provider is not willing to do what it takes to make your baby happy, find another provider. Infants are demanding and if a provider is going to care for one, they have to be prepared for that.

And last but not least.. many hugs!

Yep, this!! It's just like when leaving baby with daddy at first--baby and daddy need time to adjust to each other and find their own way, and so do baby and daycare provider. I actually quickly learned to not ask parents how they do things at home with their child because that way will NOT work for me, because I'm not them and this is not home.

If you give the provider leeway to experiment and find her own way with your precious little one, success will probably come faster and easier. I know, it's hard--I have trouble with that sometimes and my DD is 3 YEARS not 3 months!! Remember; it will take time for baby to adjust. It's hard to hear about her having a hard day, but she will adjust.

[momma2girls]

My dd started daycare yesterday and has been crying almost nonstop for both days. She'll stop for a few 5-15 minute clips or to take a 30-minute nap, but other than that it's nonstop crying. She's not been colicky the whole 12 weeks we've been at home.

Has this happened to anyone else? Is there anything I or my care provider can do to help her adjust better? Hearing that she's crying all day makes me want to cry myself.

I have had 3 colicky babies in my care over all the yrs. of providing daycare. I finally had to terminate 2 of them, it was just too much for me, and it's not fair to all the other children in your daycare. I remember my BP was rising so high, with the last one, that I almost had to go on bedrest, because I was pregnant at the same time. Once I stopped providing daycare for that child, it was absolutely normal, and I delivered on time. Even the most patient daycare provider can only handle so much. If you have triend everything you can on your end, you will have to make a decision on you and your daycare. Is it worth it, all the stress? the stress on all the other children? Good luck and be strong!!!

[UnaphyPhapado]

3 Month Old Crying Nonstop In Daycare

I am so happy he is doing so well. Much love and prayers Hows Tony and his sister handling all this??? Are they proud as well???

[denack]

I know where you are coming from as my 9 month old did the same thing at day care to the point that I had to find a new day care. He is doing so much better because he actually has kids close to his own age to interact with. Keep your chin up and don't get discouraged!

[[email protected]]

Just wanna reply to a quote on Danielle’s message “ that she see nothing wrong with a provider carrying a baby as much as they need!!!i I work in childcare , my room ratio is 4-1 infants.. they all want to be held all day ! Now would u expect a provider to carry one child around all day !? Ya think we got 4 arms ?! If your child needs special treatment, being carried around all day , hire a private nanny !
Sorry I don’t agree with u on that . Sit on the floor with all the babies at their level and encourage the child to sit NEXT to u !!!

[Blackcat31]

Just wanna reply to a quote on Danielle’s message “ that she see nothing wrong with a provider carrying a baby as much as they need!!!i I work in childcare , my room ratio is 4-1 infants.. they all want to be held all day ! Now would u expect a provider to carry one child around all day !? Ya think we got 4 arms ?! If your child needs special treatment, being carried around all day , hire a private nanny !
Sorry I don’t agree with u on that . Sit on the floor with all the babies at their level and encourage the child to sit NEXT to u !!!

This is a really old thread and Danielle commented over 9 years ago....

BUT in her defense, she does not work in a center and said she only keeps one infant at a time so she CAN hold/carry a baby all day if they need it.

There is a right fit for families and providers. If a baby requires being held all day and the parents find a provider willing and able to do that, great! Win win for everyone.

I wouldn't have put my infant in a center for the very reasons you mentioned....there are so many and their needs are definitely individual and not one size fits all so I found a program that met MY child's needs;which was being held a lot more than my other child.