Switched From Home DCP to a Center

[happymom]

We had our first very hard drop off today.

Today and yesterday my little son's usual teacher was not there. Yesterday he was okay with that and ran to go play with some kids. Today he held onto me tight, tried to climb up me. I sat down with him on the floor and tried to ask him why he didn't want me to leave. He was in a panick and wouldn't even look me in the eyes. I walked him to the cafeteria area to see what was for breakfast and try to distract him with that but he still wouldn't let me leave.

Finally an adult at the center came and distracted him by asking if he would want to go for a walk. What are some good tactics to get him to go in without a fight? Or are some days just like this? I'd obviously rather never have hard days....

[Thriftylady]

Honestly I wouldn't give it a lot of attention. I would let him cry and move on. The more attention you give it the more he will do it. Likely he will quit crying the second you leave this is almost always a stalling tactic. I am assuming he talks at the age of 3. If he does, he can tell you if something is wrong.

[Play Care]

Honestly I wouldn't give it a lot of attention. I would let him cry and move on. The more attention you give it the more he will do it. Likely he will quit crying the second you leave this is almost always a stalling tactic. I am assuming he talks at the age of 3. If he does, he can tell you if something is wrong.

Hard drops offs are so tough on everyone! :hug:

[happymom]

Oh yeah, nothing is wrong. He's GREAT at stalling techniques (and I am kind of terrible at handling them to be honest). I really want to get better, but I physically can not leave if he is climbing up me, and I dont feel comfortable yet leaving him in the hall to walk to his classroom by himself especially when no one is at the front desk. I could potentially just put him over the locked half-door and leave him but I feel like someone needs to see him come in so they know he is there.

[Thriftylady]

Oh yeah, nothing is wrong. He's GREAT at stalling techniques (and I am kind of terrible at handling them to be honest). I really want to get better, but I physically can not leave if he is climbing up me, and I dont feel comfortable yet leaving him in the hall to walk to his classroom by himself especially when no one is at the front desk. I could potentially just put him over the locked half-door and leave him but I feel like someone needs to see him come in so they know he is there.

A teacher may have to help you with this, but likely it isn't the first time they have seen this!

[Play Care]

Oh yeah, nothing is wrong. He's GREAT at stalling techniques (and I am kind of terrible at handling them to be honest). I really want to get better, but I physically can not leave if he is climbing up me, and I dont feel comfortable yet leaving him in the hall to walk to his classroom by himself especially when no one is at the front desk. I could potentially just put him over the locked half-door and leave him but I feel like someone needs to see him come in so they know he is there.

Can you talk to his teacher and see what they can do? Even if it's just making sure someone is there to make it a quick drop off?
Good luck!

[happymom]

Trying to work though some of these little problems has been tough! Turns out, his teacher quit after he had been there for only a week (I learned a week later from talking to another staff member).

I can tell the daycare is struggling right now and has been borrowing staff from one of the sister centers (this particular center has multiple locations). My son is happy there, but as a parent, I am still struggling trying to learn the staff after these changes especially considering we are still so new.

He's supposed to have a new permanent teacher this week, but I have yet to meet her.

The great news: HE'S NAPPING!!!! EVERY DAY!!! He's falling asleep quickly and staying asleep the entire nap time 1.5-2hrs (we are struggling a bit at home/bedtime with the change --- so if anyone has suggestions in that regards I am happy to listen)

[daycare]

Trying to work though some of these little problems has been tough! Turns out, his teacher quit after he had been there for only a week (I learned a week later from talking to another staff member).

I can tell the daycare is struggling right now and has been borrowing staff from one of the sister centers (this particular center has multiple locations). My son is happy there, but as a parent, I am still struggling trying to learn the staff after these changes especially considering we are still so new.

He's supposed to have a new permanent teacher this week, but I have yet to meet her.

The great news: HE'S NAPPING!!!! EVERY DAY!!! He's falling asleep quickly and staying asleep the entire nap time 1.5-2hrs (we are struggling a bit at home/bedtime with the change --- so if anyone has suggestions in that regards I am happy to listen)

darn. unfortunately, that is one of the draw backs of centers. staff change is high.

as for the night time sleep issues. I would just do as the school did and keep a consistent night time routine. if you keep it strict and consistent, he will fall into it. DOn't give in or give up. if bed time is 745, then every night it is that time no matter what. Just like a preschool, we don't ever change the time or say ok youre not tired, you can stay up later. NOPE, it's 745, lights out.

stick to your guns and give it a good month for him to fall into a good night time routine.

[Thriftylady]

darn. unfortunately, that is one of the draw backs of centers. staff change is high.

as for the night time sleep issues. I would just do as the school did and keep a consistent night time routine. if you keep it strict and consistent, he will fall into it. DOn't give in or give up. if bed time is 745, then every night it is that time no matter what. Just like a preschool, we don't ever change the time or say ok youre not tired, you can stay up later. NOPE, it's 745, lights out.

stick to your guns and give it a good month for him to fall into a good night time routine.

I agree don't give into him. Some of these big centers are horrible for staff turn over. Many times the hours are not great and the pay is low. We have some center owners here, and it sounds to me from reading here that the smaller centers are a little more stable. If you keep having issues maybe you can look for a smaller locally owned center? I bet you would find staff more stable there.

[happymom]

Staff turnover has always been the biggest reason why I was leaning away from a center in the first place.

I'm hoping this was just bad timing (after all, a new school year is starting and many of the teachers have been working towards teaching jobs which has generally been the reason for leaving).

I never expected his teacher to be gone so quickly, I took my boy to meet with her a month before he started at the center and we talked about her by name frequently when prepping him for the change. He burst out in tears when I told him she would not be his teacher anymore, he was very fond of her.

I want to give it a lot more time since the center itself is such a great fit and he is really doing well with the consistancy and more rigid schedule. I am building a few relationships with some of the staff who works close with him (one of the ladies I interviewed 3 years ago when he was an infant) -- so I know they absolutely have some solid staff so while turnover may be high in some places, there is still consistancy in the staff. Everyone adores my son, too lovethis

[racemom]

It is hard when a favorite teacher leaves, but hopefully she is replaced by someone he learns to love as much. It helps when the some of the staff are consistent so it isn't all new people. I hope you and your son continue to enjoy your daycare experience!

[Thriftylady]

I hope it continues to work for you. I know how hard this can be.

[daycare]

I agree don't give into him. Some of these big centers are horrible for staff turn over. Many times the hours are not great and the pay is low. We have some center owners here, and it sounds to me from reading here that the smaller centers are a little more stable. If you keep having issues maybe you can look for a smaller locally owned center? I bet you would find staff more stable there.

I meant don't give in to him when it comes time for bed at night time. We all know how kids will make 1001 excuses not to go to bed.

[Thriftylady]

I meant don't give in to him when it comes time for bed at night time. We all know how kids will make 1001 excuses not to go to bed.

Yea, I was agreeing. My daughter was the queen of excuses not to when she was little. Now she thinks it is child abuse if we keep her up past nine.

[Febby]

I agree don't give into him. Some of these big centers are horrible for staff turn over. Many times the hours are not great and the pay is low. We have some center owners here, and it sounds to me from reading here that the smaller centers are a little more stable. If you keep having issues maybe you can look for a smaller locally owned center? I bet you would find staff more stable there.

Centers with decent management, decent pay, and reasonable benefits will usually have the lowest turnover. One of my worst experiences was at a small, local center. There's a couple large chains (maybe national?) that I can think of that have good programs and (generally) treat their staff well. There's a local daycare that's now opened a few other locations that everyone wants to work at (but no one ever can because they're almost never hiring). Turnover will also be higher with the lower positions (aides and assistants) than with higher positions (lead teachers, directing staff).

In my experience, August, December, January, and May tend to be when turnover is highest because of school semesters ending and beginning. And sometimes turnover will cause more turnover. Susy quits because her best friend Jill just quit. Jimmy and Johnny become the new teachers but because they're new, the children test them. Then Johnny quits because the children are struggling with their behavior. Then Jack replaces Johnny but quits because the children are still acting out (and therefor Jack assumes the center is a trainwreck). And it goes on until someone finally is able and willing to handle it.

If your son is doing well, then maybe wait a bit and see if they can get the staffing figured out.

Are you still having trouble with drop-offs?