Co-sleeping, Cuddling, Stroller or Carseat Sleeping..

[Babybear911]

Okay. This needs to be said. IF YOU are a Stay at home parent...and never plan on returning to work or going away for the weekend or having a babysitter then don't bother reading further...

HOWEVER, If you have a baby and are going back to the workforce or plan on having babysitters, or family watch over your child PLEASE read!!

The Co-sleeping parenting or stroller sleeping or letting baby sleep in carseat, or holding/rocking baby during naps etc., will not work if you plan on having a life away from baby.

No daycare will ever let your child sleep in a carseat (babies have been known for having "flat head" for constantly sleeping in carseats, not to mention babies who have been choked by the straps of the carseat) or a stroller (strangulation, suffocation, or falling out of stroller etc...)

It is dangerous and your are LUCKY nothing has happened to your baby! Read your instruction manual for carseats and strollers if you want to challenge this. Sure you will find a section to confirm what I have just mentioned above.

As for Co-sleeping or holding/rocking baby during entire nap...Do you anticipate having a date night or going away for a romantic weekend with partner/spouse? Do you want to get your hair done, go grocery shopping ect, and/or have a family member watch over baby?? How realistic do you see your family and friends being willing care for your baby if they have to co-sleep with your child? or hold your 40lb baby while they nap for 2 hours...baby might be small now...but as we all know babies get bigger and bigger and bigger...and eventually they will be adults one day.

What about the staff at daycare centers and home daycare? Should they "Sleep" with your baby at nap time?? Think about it. Daycare staff are there to supervise during naps not "Sleep"! They also have a number of other children to "care" for, not to mention that quiet time is usually when daycare staff are scheduled to eat their lunch and/or time to rejuvenate themselves before everyone else wakes up!

To all parents who are refusing to teach their child how to sleep independently in a CRIB. Imagine how stressed babies are when you all of sudden you say "Okay baby...Mommy/Daddy are going to work now! So see you later and by the way...no more "stroller sleeping, car seat sleeping, or co-sleeping, or rocking baby in arms sleep" Seriously! It has to stop!

If you don't know how to teach your baby how to self sooth or sleep get help! There are a number resources/companies in your community that specialize in this. It will take probably a few sessions but your baby is smart and a fast learner! Soon your baby will be the best sleeper!

You will have some personal time as a couple again and if you are a single parent then that means you can ACTUALLY have some YOU time! WOW! wouldn't that be nice!

The greatest gift you can give your child as a parent is to help them learn skills to SELF SOOTH!

Few tips if you want to try on your own:

• The second you see baby RUBBING eyes that is the first cue your baby is giving you that they are tired. Watch your baby. Record on paper for a few days when they do this. Do notice a pattern? This is what babies do...Babies will look down and start rubbing one or both eyes and start getting quiet. If you wait too much longer after this cue guess what...baby will be OVER tired and then you will have a much harder time getting them to sleep.

• Make room a nice temperature (not to cold or hot!)
  
• close blinds or have blackout blind. It is hard to sleep if you have lights shining on your eyes!
  
• Definitely DON'T make house completely silent. It is okay to putter around house and make "gentle" noises. Don't be rude by banging pots and pans ect, but use common sense.
  
• Babies cry. It is how they express themselves. Your job is to reassure them they are okay and then walk away, reassure them and then walk away ect., Does it take strength, confidence, and energy...you bet! but isn't your baby worth it?? Eventually your baby will understand you always come back but right now it is nap time. So sleep!
  
• Read The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems...it is one of my favorite books and trust me! It will walk you through all of the many cues babies give us. It will help you understand, support, love and nurture your babies needs without taking over!

Good Luck!

[daycarediva]

Can you add; babies are supposed to cry sometimes?

Then, write a toddler one, a preschool one and a sa one.

I could hand them out at interviews! ::

[Babybear911]

I love providing childcare and I know I am meant to be a daycare provider. However, I am finding that over the years progress this "new wave" of parenting is making children more insecure, frightened, upset, and confused.

They are so traumatized when parents leave. It truly breaks my heart. Then the parents feel that it is something I am doing wrong instead of looking at themselves as the problem. If you choose to co-sleep then you should have the resources available financially to stay home and be that full time parent. You also should plan on not leaving child with anyone who can't model the same lifestyle you have committed to as a family. It is a decision only a parent can make, but what I am wanting parents to think about is, will you be able to sustain this lifestyle until YOUR child is ready to wean themselves from co-sleeping or are you going to force them after you have trained them to be dependent sleepers?

I give parents a checklist to answer before I meet with them in person. By screening my registration/interviews based on how they fill out my questionnaire I know I will have children who are ready for the daycare setting. That the child is ready to grow and develop new skills that daycare's should be focusing on. I want to spend my time teaching my little people the A, B, C's and 1, 2, 3"s, how to be good friends to each other, to learn colors and shapes ect., and not how to sleep by themselves. It can take up to 4 months of constant effort, tears, and no quiet time for others to help teach the child how to cope in a daycare setting who have been co-sleeping/stroller or carseat sleeping.
eg.,

1. Is your child an independent sleeper?
2. If so what does nap time/bedtime routine look like?
   
3. Do you co-sleep with child?
   
4. Does your child self-sooth?
5. If so, how? Soother, thumb, blanket, crying, whimpering, etc., please provide details.
   
6. Has your child been cared for by anyone other then parents?
   
7. Has your child had an overnight away from parents?
   
8. If so, who did child stay with and how many times has your child slept away from you for an over night?
   

I always say it is a crazy world where anyone can have a baby but you need to study and take test to drive a car.

[Unregistered]

I'm confused as to why a baby would need to have spent a night away from parents to be successful in care?

[JoseyJo]

I'm confused as to why a baby would need to have spent a night away from parents to be successful in care?

They wouldn't... but they WOULD need to be able to sleep on their own, not next to/cuddled with another living being, not in a swing, not in a stroller, not in a car seat. They need to be able to sleep on their back, in a crib/PNP, with no covers, animals, etc. This is how a DCprovider has to have them sleep in daycare, so they need to be able to do so before they go to daycare.

Do you know that stress is one of the main factors in SIDS? Imagine how stressful it is to go a new place with all new people. Now add to that being totally helpless and now reliant on these new people for all of your basic needs- now add to that that you didnt know where you would be going, when (if) your loved ones would be back, or how long you will be there?

Imagine how much more stressful it is when that child now has to learn to sleep in a brand new way, let alone the parents who choose not to bottle train their BF baby before daycare! Can you imagine the stress on the baby?

[janene1024]

OMG!..I am sooo stealing this post. I still have 3 year olds that their parents let sleep with them!!!!

[janene1024]

Right on Time

OMG!..I am sooo stealing this post. I still have 3 year olds that their parents let sleep with them!!!!

[auntymimi]

OMG!..I am sooo stealing this post. I still have 3 year olds that their parents let sleep with them!!!!

I have a 4 yo in care who still sleeps with mom and now baby brother. He's now 15 mos old but I've had him since 10 mos. imagine the joy they were to nap at first! I came really close to terming, 3 others before me did and one was grandma! After nearly 6 mos they've finally got the hang of it. I can't tell you how many calls I get for evening care that the kids still cosleeps. When I ask how they think it will work with them sleeping here I get one of 3 responses: blank stare, "well, couldn't you just lay down with them until they fall asleep?", or " they can just stay up until I get home (at 2 am)". Uh, no!

[Unregistered]

That's a load of crap - my 3.5 year old co-sleeps/ and or sleeps on own bed next to mine and has no problem sleeping alone at school. None at all and has never been an issue nor would he have any issues if he were to ever sleep away from us.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

That's a load of crap - my 3.5 year old co-sleeps/ and or sleeps on own bed next to mine and has no problem sleeping alone at school. None at all and has never been an issue nor would he have any issues if he were to ever sleep away from us.

That is great, but your child is more of the exception, not the rule. My little dcb co slept the first year with his mom and it took me quite a few weeks to get him trained to sleep on his own here. Same with the others who I know co slept or were nursed to sleep. I actually have less of a problem with co sleepers and more of an issue with the nursing to sleep or swing sleepers. At a year old, dcm came in said dcb slept in his crib the whole night...they were shocked! I was like, he has been doing that here for 7 months now

[Blackcat31]

That is great, but your child is more of the exception, not the rule. My little dcb co slept the first year with his mom and it took me quite a few weeks to get him trained to sleep on his own here. Same with the others who I know co slept or were nursed to sleep. I actually have less of a problem with co sleepers and more of an issue with the nursing to sleep or swing sleepers. At a year old, dcm came in said dcb slept in his crib the whole night...they were shocked! I was like, he has been doing that here for 7 months now

Same here...I don't think I know where or how any of my daycare kids sleep. Alone, with parents, siblings, pets... I have NO idea.

The biggest issues I've had in past years aren't related to where they sleep but HOW they are taught to go to sleep.

Nursed, rocked, swings, TV etc...

If I can't replicate it in daycare, it rarely works here.

Not that kids cant be adjustable because some do easily adjust to the change at daycare but those that don't are the ones that present an issue to providers.

[auntymimi]

Same here...I don't think I know where or how any of my daycare kids sleep. Alone, with parents, siblings, pets... I have NO idea.

The biggest issues I've had in past years aren't related to where they sleep but HOW they are taught to go to sleep.

Nursed, rocked, swings, TV etc...

If I can't replicate it in daycare, it rarely works here.

Not that kids cant be adjustable because some do easily adjust to the change at daycare but those that don't are the ones that present an issue to providers.

This is exactly it. I don't think I even realized it until you said it. It's not the cosleeping that effects my dck ability to nap here, but the way in which they are put down in the first place.

[Blackcat31]

This is exactly it. I don't think I even realized it until you said it. It's not the cosleeping that effects my dck ability to nap here, but the way in which they are put down in the first place.

If you cant replicate it in care, then tell the parent that.

Its a simple solution. Parents either provide the tools their child's needs in care or they choose an alternate caregiver that can replicate their method.