...who is at my wit's end with the family I have been with for over four years now.
I help care for three boys, ages 6, 4, and 20 months. I am Red Cross certified in lifesaving skills for adults, children, and infants. I first began working for this family shortly after I graduated from high school. I was there three days a week, for a total of 15 hours. Fours years later, I'm working 40 hour weeks and have only gotten a one dollar/hour raise since the beginning, and that happened right around the time the youngest was born.
Basically, I am completely unclear as to what I'm doing there. I put off college (originally it was only for a year, but time has snuck up on me) to work for this family, and now they (the mother, specifically) fully expect my assistance for a few MORE years!
Let me clarify, here... the mother tells people that I am nothing but her babysitter. I do watch the boys when she's at work (only 3 days a week, max), but I also provide much more than she gives me credit for. I've taken the kids to and from school; I feed, clothe, and sometimes bathe the boys. When the youngest was born, I literally stayed at the house with the other two, and the dog, for 22 hours a day for almost 4 days. I also drove him daily TO her at work so she could breastfeed him (which she failed at, and blamed it on her husband and myself for not "holding off" the newborn when he was hungry until she could get there to nurse him....I feed infants when they are hungry, not when it is convenient for the parent.). More often than not, one or both parents are in the house while I am there.
I am also apparently the housecleaner now. The elderly woman who has been working for this family for decades has recently taken a leave (for surgery) from which I know she will not return. She is the one person who can relate to the feeling of being an indentured servant, which I've been experiencing. I've since somewhat taken over her duties (she came once a week), but I REFUSE to put the cleanliness of the house ahead of the 20 month old, who I usually have myself most of the day, or any of the children, for that matter.
I work 8 hours a day, and I do not get any defined "break." I am allowed to take the youngest (and the middle, and I can only assume the eldest) out in my reliable, child-friendly toyota corolla for a bit if I need to, for some reason, but I do get passively reprimanded if, for example, a certain number of loads of laundry aren't done, or if I forgot to put the clean dishes away and reload, wash, and put away the next load.
Also, I have a diabetic cat who needs her blood glucose tested, and the appropriate amount of insulin administered every 6 hours. I've worked a schedule out so that I only need to leave work once in the afternoon, and I can take the youngest with me if Mom's at work. I live on the same street as the family I work for, by the way.
Basically, I need to know what I should and should not be putting up with from this situation. There are some things that I feel that I deserve but have never gotten, such as vacation, overtime, and respect. I also have no idea how to make it clear to this woman that her children, as much as I love them, are not the most important thing in my life, and that MY family will ALWAYS come first (I bring this up because I do not get holidays, of any kind, off, unless I request them well in advance and say that I have plans all day. Even then, I find myself "making up" for a day off by working a saturday night.).
Any advice is GREATLY appreciated here. I am undeniably burned out.
I help care for three boys, ages 6, 4, and 20 months. I am Red Cross certified in lifesaving skills for adults, children, and infants. I first began working for this family shortly after I graduated from high school. I was there three days a week, for a total of 15 hours. Fours years later, I'm working 40 hour weeks and have only gotten a one dollar/hour raise since the beginning, and that happened right around the time the youngest was born.
Basically, I am completely unclear as to what I'm doing there. I put off college (originally it was only for a year, but time has snuck up on me) to work for this family, and now they (the mother, specifically) fully expect my assistance for a few MORE years!
Let me clarify, here... the mother tells people that I am nothing but her babysitter. I do watch the boys when she's at work (only 3 days a week, max), but I also provide much more than she gives me credit for. I've taken the kids to and from school; I feed, clothe, and sometimes bathe the boys. When the youngest was born, I literally stayed at the house with the other two, and the dog, for 22 hours a day for almost 4 days. I also drove him daily TO her at work so she could breastfeed him (which she failed at, and blamed it on her husband and myself for not "holding off" the newborn when he was hungry until she could get there to nurse him....I feed infants when they are hungry, not when it is convenient for the parent.). More often than not, one or both parents are in the house while I am there.
I am also apparently the housecleaner now. The elderly woman who has been working for this family for decades has recently taken a leave (for surgery) from which I know she will not return. She is the one person who can relate to the feeling of being an indentured servant, which I've been experiencing. I've since somewhat taken over her duties (she came once a week), but I REFUSE to put the cleanliness of the house ahead of the 20 month old, who I usually have myself most of the day, or any of the children, for that matter.
I work 8 hours a day, and I do not get any defined "break." I am allowed to take the youngest (and the middle, and I can only assume the eldest) out in my reliable, child-friendly toyota corolla for a bit if I need to, for some reason, but I do get passively reprimanded if, for example, a certain number of loads of laundry aren't done, or if I forgot to put the clean dishes away and reload, wash, and put away the next load.
Also, I have a diabetic cat who needs her blood glucose tested, and the appropriate amount of insulin administered every 6 hours. I've worked a schedule out so that I only need to leave work once in the afternoon, and I can take the youngest with me if Mom's at work. I live on the same street as the family I work for, by the way.
Basically, I need to know what I should and should not be putting up with from this situation. There are some things that I feel that I deserve but have never gotten, such as vacation, overtime, and respect. I also have no idea how to make it clear to this woman that her children, as much as I love them, are not the most important thing in my life, and that MY family will ALWAYS come first (I bring this up because I do not get holidays, of any kind, off, unless I request them well in advance and say that I have plans all day. Even then, I find myself "making up" for a day off by working a saturday night.).
Any advice is GREATLY appreciated here. I am undeniably burned out.
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