Don't Want to be a PITA Mom!

[Unregistered]

Hello,

I have a LO in daycare now and would love your advice/thoughts on how to deal with a situation. When he started at the daycare he was still eating baby food so I provided all of his food. Although the DCP provides milk for all the kids, I still send my own because I want him to have organic milk w/ DHA. Nutrition is very important to me - I'm a vegetarian and feed my son extremely well although he's allowed to have turkey and chicken. Well, he's finally starting to push the pureed foods away and wants to eat what the others are eating. Last week I went to pick him up and she told me that she offered him a huge cinammon role at breakfast and she was so surprised that he ate the whole thing! (she said this with a lot of excitement because its been difficult getting him to eat solids). She said she didn't put the icing on because she didn't really think he'd eat it (meaning that normally she smothers them with icing!). She went on to say that he ate mac n/ cheese and a dinner role at lunch. I held my tongue because I don't want to be obnoxious and I've been avoiding this discussion with her. In NO WAY do I think a young toddler should be eating iced anything for breakfast. Nor do I think he should be eating nothing but starch and fake cheese for lunch!!!!

Please give me some guidance on how to approach her on this. I don't want to insult her at all (she's a wonderful caregiver otherwise) as this is what she is also feeding her own kids. But, I also understand that its very difficult to have a parent bring their child their own lunch that the other kids can't have. And, I'm sure it will be difficult to get him to eat something nutritious when the other kids are eating yummy junk. What should I do?

[cheerfuldom]

Do you have anything about the food issue in your contract? Does she require all the children to eat what she makes or is she open to you providing lunch for your child? I think you can easily and respectfully approach her with this issue. You don't have to mention what you think about her cooking habits, only that your family has a strict diet and you would like to continue that with your son even while he is in daycare. You would be willing to provide a sack lunch for him and snacks if she is open to giving this to him each day instead of what the other kids have. You also have to realize that he may snatch food from others, pick up scraps off the floor or refuse his own food in attempt to get what the other kids are eating. Even if she agrees to you providing him lunch now, it may turn into too much work for her in the long run. If he is really stubborn and refuses food there or cries the whole meal, that may be too much. In which case, you need to decide if this is a big enough issue to where you would find another caregiver.

[MsMe]

I agree w/ cheerfuldom. You can ask, hope she agrees and hope it works out.

I personaly would not.

I did once and he only came once a week (WOW I didn't know much back then didn't I?)

It didn't work well in my program.

Good Luck!

[Cat Herder]

Ouch..... I was this provider just a couple years ago. I like my fat back fried with bacon grease.... It took a family member getting sick for me to learn the value of a better diet.

I really thought I was doing the right thing for the daycare kids by buying the expensive Tyson frozen nuggets, Name Brand frozen pizza's/ boxed Mac-N-Cheese, Gortons fish sticks and "Grands" Cinnamon rolls...

Nutrition was not really taught to my generation. I am attending way too many funerals way too young.

Nannyde helped whip me into shape, opened my eyes and got me really thinking by making me watch FOOD Inc. Maybe that could be a starting point?

Maybe pick up some "classroom" books "for the daycare kids" about nutrition...maybe an educational poster set for her wall with the new food serving size/food group info. Tell her "a friend is a teacher and was accidently sent two sets "and you "thought of her"?

Everyone can learn something new... I know I would have been grateful for the resources and thoughtfulness of the gesture.

A way to learn without having to be embarrassed will work well... Ask Nan. I made a huge turn around...::::

[nannyde]

How old is your child? I'm assuming he is over the age of one because you are doing milk?

The most important part of your post to me is: Well, he's finally starting to push the pureed foods away and wants to eat what the others are eating.
This says to me that he is over the age of one but he has been eating puree with her.

If he is having puree then she is hand feeding him. That's a ton of staff time when you have a kid that can pick up bits and eat them. It's way easier for her to feed him what they are having if he can self feed than the healthy purees that she has to hand feed.

I think the way to solve it is to offer to bring his food completely packed and ready to serve. This means that it goes from the fridge to his high chair without any adult involvement. Don't send anything that needs to be chopped or heated. Just ready to serve.

She can then just dump it on his tray and go about feeding the other kids what she normally serves. Let her put the dirty containers back in his pack and send them home.

The other kids won't want what you want him to have when they have the choice of a processed food diet. The only time that is a problem is when parents send treat processed food and the others can't have it. If you send a lunch and snack box of soft veggies diced, fruit diced, meats diced, and a grain diced... the other kids won't give it a second look when they have mac n cheese in front of them.

If she's on the food program you are going to have a problem. She won't be allowed to have food from home and get her money for the food program. If that's the case then it's probably time to switch day care to an organic diet day care or one that's not on the food program.

She's serving the treat food for a reason. It's easy, cheap, and the kids love it. Going to healthy food is expensive, A TON OF WORK, and a lot of kids won't like it. The food program guidelines allow a terrible corn based, sugar, starch, and sodium diet. They are trying to implement changes but they are under a lot of pressure from big ag to allow their treat food as real food in the federally funded programs. Doritos are acceptable as a veggie now. :confused:

It's awesome to see parents really caring about it so I hope you get it resolved. What won't work is you providing stuff she has to heat, chop, and serve while she is doing the other kids treat food or food she has to spoon feed him. If you make it easy for her she will gladly do it.

[AnneCordelia]

I have a 1yo vegetarian boy in my daycare. I am not vegetarian but I do have a high standard of the food I serve. One day a week I cook veggie and the rest of the week she sends his meals in trays, ready to go. I don't do any prep for his meals, just take the lid off the sectioned container and put it on his tray. It's all cut up and ready to go.

It's easy to explain to my other kids that there is a valid reason for him to eat the food he's eating. Although, he doesn't see my other kids eating crap, so that's a challenge I don't deal with. But, him eating something seperate at lunch isn't even questioned anymore.

[laundrymom]

A few times a year I serve cinn rolls and I serve Mac n chz bi monthly. However, I home make my rolls, takes 3 days. And our Mac n cheese is whole wheat pasta made here by me, and real cheese. Could your provider be doing this?
I do have a veg family here, they provide everything. I open, dump, clear and send home.

[Michelle]

How old is your child? I'm assuming he is over the age of one because you are doing milk?

The most important part of your post to me is: Well, he's finally starting to push the pureed foods away and wants to eat what the others are eating.
This says to me that he is over the age of one but he has been eating puree with her.

If he is having puree then she is hand feeding him. That's a ton of staff time when you have a kid that can pick up bits and eat them. It's way easier for her to feed him what they are having if he can self feed than the healthy purees that she has to hand feed.

I think the way to solve it is to offer to bring his food completely packed and ready to serve. This means that it goes from the fridge to his high chair without any adult involvement. Don't send anything that needs to be chopped or heated. Just ready to serve.

She can then just dump it on his tray and go about feeding the other kids what she normally serves. Let her put the dirty containers back in his pack and send them home.

The other kids won't want what you want him to have when they have the choice of a processed food diet. The only time that is a problem is when parents send treat processed food and the others can't have it. If you send a lunch and snack box of soft veggies diced, fruit diced, meats diced, and a grain diced... the other kids won't give it a second look when they have mac n cheese in front of them.

If she's on the food program you are going to have a problem. She won't be allowed to have food from home and get her money for the food program. If that's the case then it's probably time to switch day care to an organic diet day care or one that's not on the food program.

She's serving the treat food for a reason. It's easy, cheap, and the kids love it. Going to healthy food is expensive, A TON OF WORK, and a lot of kids won't like it. The food program guidelines allow a terrible corn based, sugar, starch, and sodium diet. They are trying to implement changes but they are under a lot of pressure from big ag to allow their treat food as real food in the federally funded programs. Doritos are acceptable as a veggie now. :confused:

It's awesome to see parents really caring about it so I hope you get it resolved. What won't work is you providing stuff she has to heat, chop, and serve while she is doing the other kids treat food or food she has to spoon feed him. If you make it easy for her she will gladly do it.

Actually our food program allows parents to opt out if they want to. They just have to sign a paper and the provider won't get in trouble for serving them different food.
Also, the parent is allowed to provide food if they want and the provider can still claim it. As long as it's part of the food program allowed foods.
They just need a doctors note, and the provider has to provide at least one component.

[familyschoolcare]

A few times a year I serve cinn rolls and I serve Mac n chz bi monthly. However, I home make my rolls, takes 3 days. And our Mac n cheese is whole wheat pasta made here by me, and real cheese. Could your provider be doing this?
I do have a veg family here, they provide everything. I open, dump, clear and send home.

Me too, I run a almost all home made in regards to food program. The only thing I do not make my self is sandwich bread.

[laundrymom]

Me too, I run a almost all home made in regards to food program. The only thing I do not make my self is sandwich bread.

And since I've started it I've went from a size 22 to a very LOOSE 14.

[Unregistered]

When you started your child did you discuss food and meals your child would be eating in the future? I really feel it is important as a parent to make sure you find care that aligns with you beliefs and that includes nutrition.

As a provider I have had the opposite issue. I feed our kids very healthy foods and it is frustrating to me to try to teach nutrition to kids who refuse to eat good food because when mom shows up she heads straight to mc donalds for french fries and chicken. The child will refuse food all day and complain about trying things to the point the other children sometimes will follow.

I have had to let parents go for that. I strongly believe I can not do my job right if my parents are not on the same team as me. You may have to look for care that shares your passion for healthy foods.

[AnneCordelia]

And since I've started it I've went from a size 22 to a very LOOSE 14.

That's awesome! WTG!

[countrymom]

hmm, I'm sorry but I find it odd that at the age of 1 your child has been eating puree foods, and if he ate all that stuff at her house sounds like your child is really hungry and is looking for nutrition. If you don't like what she is serving then send your own food in, but, send appropriate foods otherwise your child will be hungry and want to eat what the other children are eating.

[Country Kids]

hmm, I'm sorry but I find it odd that at the age of 1 your child has been eating puree foods, and if he ate all that stuff at her house sounds like your child is really hungry and is looking for nutrition. If you don't like what she is serving then send your own food in, but, send appropriate foods otherwise your child will be hungry and want to eat what the other children are eating.

This is exactly what I was thinking! This little guy is hungry and wants real food, not baby food.

[CheekyChick]

What is a "PITA mom?"