UGH-More Bite Marks!

[littlemommy]

Friday evening, at about 7, a DCM sent me a picture message of a bite mark on her 11 month old son's arm. In the text, she said "I know you can't keep an eye on them 24/7 but it's 7 and this mark is still there."

I didn't see the mark before he left, she noticed it when she got home. It had to have happened when I was in the bathroom or changing a diaper, but I never did hear the little guy cry.

I don't know who bit him. I know my 18 month old son has bit dck's in the past, but I don't want to point the finger at him when I don't know for sure. There are a few other toddlers that have bit in the past, so I have no idea who it was.

I hate sending kids home with bite marks. I don't want to lose clients over this, but yes, there are times I need to go to the bathroom (I'm pregnant!!) If I have noticed that bites only happen when that 11 month old boy and the 2 year old dcb are here. That's all I've narrowed it down to so far.

[Kaddidle Care]

What's the chance that he bit himself?

[godiva83]

Ugh biting- one of the more annoying qualities toddlers have!
Is it possible that he got bit at home... I can't believe that if the mark was that intense you wouldn't hear the little guy cry or see the after tears, red puffy eyes ect.
If it isn't possible that he got the bite elsewhere reassure the Mum, you will shadow the biter of the group and when leaving to go to the washroom you will separate the children with activities in their highchairs. Also, sadly biting happens- it could have just as easily happened while you were sitting right by their sides. Toddlers act on a whim and are very egocentric beings they bite, hit, grab and push in order to suit their own needs- just a part of development. Your best bet to nip it in the bud is positive reinforcement, redirection and shadowing. Mum, should no that it does happen- and you will do your best to stay on top of it
All the best

[Crystal]

didn't this happen before? is it the same child that was bitten? didn't you not know when it happened that time as well? I would think that you would have made arrangements so that it would not happen again.....perhaps putting all of the children into pack n plays or something when you use the restroom????

I think my biggest concern as the parent is that you are not seeing it happen and not reporting it to the parent because you aren't even aware that their child was bitten.

[littlemommy]

didn't this happen before? is it the same child that was bitten? didn't you not know when it happened that time as well? I would think that you would have made arrangements so that it would not happen again.....perhaps putting all of the children into pack n plays or something when you use the restroom????

I think my biggest concern as the parent is that you are not seeing it happen and not reporting it to the parent because you aren't even aware that their child was bitten.

It did happen before, but it was the 2 year old boy that had marks. The day that happened, his grandma picked him up. She said that he bites himself and thought that's probably what happened.

As far as putting everyone in pack n plays, I don't have the room for that many pack n plays! I have one on the main floor and one upstairs in my bedroom. Same with high chairs, I don't have room for them.

This little boy couldn't have bit himself, he only has 2 teeth. It's hard knowing who to shadow because I have 3 new girls in the group. One that is coming back after having the summer off I know has bit in the past. The other 2 are sisters, and usually attack each other, but I wouldn't put it past them not to bite others.

I guess I'll put the little one in a pack n play. Not sure what to do with the older ones when I have to leave the room.

[Cat Herder]

On 07-26-11 you said that the other boy could not have bitten himself, he never cried, you were not sure who bit, you did not see it and you felt your DS might be the biter.

I really think you are going to HAVE to confine the dck's to highchairs, pnp's or by another means when you leave the room.

I am not trying to be ugly, you just REALLY need to get a handle on this fast.

It is the only way I know to break the cycle.

[littlemommy]

On 07-26-11 you said that the other boy could not have bitten himself, he never cried, you were not sure who bit, you did not see it and you felt your DS might be the biter.

I really think you are going to HAVE to confine the dck's to highchairs, pnp's or by another means when you leave the room.

I am not trying to be ugly, you just REALLY need to get a handle on this fast.

I was just saying that his grandma said he probably bit himself. I didn't say that's exactly what happened. His mother agreed a few days later that it could have been him.

I know my son is a biter, but this seems to happen even when I take him with me and leave the room. I always do separate him from the group if I am leaving because I know he has a tendency to bite.

It is still happening even when I take him with me. I'm guessing it is either one of the 3 new girls or the 2 year old boy. Since the 2 year old had the bite marks, he has been more aggressive-hitting, taking toys, horrible sharer.

I know I need to figure something out. I know the kids need to be separated when I leave the room, but I'm not sure how to do that with the limited space I have.

[Cat Herder]

I know I need to figure something out. I know the kids need to be separated when I leave the room, but I'm not sure how to do that with the limited space I have.

You may have to lower your numbers to accommodate their needs with your available resources.

It is not an easy answer, but working with kids is rarely easy.

Our first and foremost responsibility is providing them a safe environment.

Please don't see it as an attack...I am pretty sure I am telling you what is already in your head.

[sharlan]

I know it's a hassle, but can you line them up outside the bathroom, leaving the door open, while you go?

Having 2 biters at the same time, I had to always take one to the bathroom or upstairs with me.

[littlemommy]

You may have to lower your numbers to accommodate their needs with your available resources.

It is not an easy answer, but working with kids is rarely easy.

Our first and foremost responsibility is providing them a safe environment.

Please don't see it as an attack...I am pretty sure I am telling you what is already in your head.

I have noticed that the entire group is more aggressive/cranky when the 11 month old boy is here. That little guy cries and cries all day long. He doesn't nap, either. Last week he was not here until Friday. There also wasn't ANY biting until Friday.

The other kids have more sharing issues and are just on edge when he is here. The problem is, I don't want to term, because he will only be here until December. His (single) mom is going to school (which is why he has barely been here the past 2 weeks.) She informed me 2 weeks ago that they will be moving next semester. I'd hate to put her in a tough spot for that short amount of time.

If it gets worse, I may have to though. It's not fun for me or the other children to listen to his constant screaming. I'm not sure I'll fill his spot when he leaves, either. I'm due in January, so that will be enough to adjust to!

[Cat Herder]

I have noticed that the entire group is more aggressive/cranky when the 11 month old boy is here. That little guy cries and cries all day long. He doesn't nap, either. Last week he was not here until Friday. There also wasn't ANY biting until Friday.

The other kids have more sharing issues and are just on edge when he is here. The problem is, I don't want to term, because he will only be here until December. His (single) mom is going to school (which is why he has barely been here the past 2 weeks.) She informed me 2 weeks ago that they will be moving next semester. I'd hate to put her in a tough spot for that short amount of time.

If it gets worse, I may have to though. It's not fun for me or the other children to listen to his constant screaming. I'm not sure I'll fill his spot when he leaves, either. I'm due in January, so that will be enough to adjust to!

Ugh, yeah..... A screamer can tap at your will to live. The frustration of that really has a negative impact on the entire group.

I do wish you good luck, it is a miserable place to be in.

For now I'd stick with divide and conquer.

[littlemommy]

Thanks ladies for you help/support.

I will try lining them up with me. I'm going to do some major shadowing to find out who the other biter is!

[youretooloud]

Is it only one victim? Or lots?

You can change how you do everything until you see who's doing the biting. But, make sure you take the babies with you when you have to leave the room. Or put a playpen in the laundry room (out of reach of any other kids) and put the victims in there while you change all the diapers.

Or just lie to the state... sure you are SUPPOSED to do diaper changes a certain way, but just say you do, but change them in the same room as the other kids until this biting ends.

Or buy a Mei tai and carry the victim (if there's only one) while you do other things. That way, the baby is on your back and nobody can get to him.

Once you find out who the biter is, you can work on that issue.

[littlemommy]

Is it only one victim? Or lots?

You can change how you do everything until you see who's doing the biting. But, make sure you take the babies with you when you have to leave the room. Or put a playpen in the laundry room (out of reach of any other kids) and put the victims in there while you change all the diapers.

Or just lie to the state... sure you are SUPPOSED to do diaper changes a certain way, but just say you do, but change them in the same room as the other kids until this biting ends.

Or buy a Mei tai and carry the victim (if there's only one) while you do other things. That way, the baby is on your back and nobody can get to him.

Once you find out who the biter is, you can work on that issue.

There have been 2 victims, both the only 2 boys other than my son. In a way, since I have seen my son be aggressive towards them before, I'm thinking he's a bit territorial since they are coming and playing with his toys. BUT, that doesn't explain ALL of the biting, because there have been times there are bites when he is with me.

[youretooloud]

There have been 2 victims, both the only 2 boys other than my son. In a way, since I have seen my son be aggressive towards them before, I'm thinking he's a bit territorial since they are coming and playing with his toys. BUT, that doesn't explain ALL of the biting, because there have been times there are bites when he is with me.

Too bad you can't set up a hidden camera. LOL.

I've had biters and I can tell by the teeth marks who is doing it. Can you figure it out that way?

I would still change everything for a while. Especially since the kids aren't crying when they are being attacked, you'll never know when it's happening. My recent biter does it while I'm right there, but it looks innocent until the child yells "OW!".