I'm Not Sure What I Did Wrong

[countrymom]

he could have umbilical hernia too, its common in infants too. I believe children cry for a reason, if you fed him, changed him, cuddled him and nothing is working then something is wrong, something that needs further investigation.

[SilverSabre25]

Another possible solution for you, at least as a coping mechanism while (hopefully) the parents work to get things sorted out is to read The Happiest Baby on the Block . That's the website, here's a link to the book on Amazon.

That *might* help him at least a little bit. I don't know about you, but I generally feel better/calmer so long as I'm trying *something*, even if it doesn't seem to be working.

[SilverSabre25]

No, No, No..... YOU are the allergy diva.... I have no experience with that.

I was showing you why I came to the conclusion I did... To see if you see it, too. Ugh, typing ....

Belly pain = Knees up, clenched fists, squinty face, holding breath, short burst crying... His straightening legs, pushing on her stomach would exacerbate that.

Between both of our advice the bases should be covered....::

Allergy diva...I like that! Thanks for clarifying, I appreciate it. You're right on with the tummy pain, although I've seen babies do what she's describing when they are hurting and trying to eat to make the hurt stop. baby brain says, "Tummy hurts, need to eat." The eating doesn't make the tummy stop hurting and it makes them mad and they do stuff like she described. Eventually falling into an exhausted sleep where they sleep it off for awhile.

[youretooloud]

I wouldn't ever call the baby a "Rage Baby". He's just a baby who never feels very good.

The mom, on the other hand is uptight and insanely controlling. For what you are doing, I hope she's paying you very, very well. I'd never want to work for someone who treats me that way.

I understand that Mom is probably crazy with lack of sleep herself, so I "get" that she doesn't want him to sleep much during the day. She probably comes home, finds out he slept all day, and sees her night going down the toilet.

But, that's all the more reason to build a wonderful working relationship with the person who's caring for her son all day.

If she wants you with him all day, I'd tell her to buy you a few really good baby carriers online so you can keep him on your body as much as you can... but, otherwise, I wouldn't be holding him all day. He either goes on with a baby sling, or he sits in a baby seat.

[SilverSabre25]

I wouldn't ever call the baby a "Rage Baby". He's just a baby who never feels very good.

The mom, on the other hand is uptight and insanely controlling. For what you are doing, I hope she's paying you very, very well. I'd never want to work for someone who treats me that way.

I understand that Mom is probably crazy with lack of sleep herself, so I "get" that she doesn't want him to sleep much during the day. She probably comes home, finds out he slept all day, and sees her night going down the toilet.

But, that's all the more reason to build a wonderful working relationship with the person who's caring for her son all day.

If she wants you with him all day, I'd tell her to buy you a few really good baby carriers online so you can keep him on your body as much as you can... but, otherwise, I wouldn't be holding him all day. He either goes on with a baby sling, or he sits in a baby seat.

This is a great suggestion; I recommend a Moby Wrap. They are very easy to use, pretty inexpensive, and snuggle baby VERY securely up against your body.

[Country Kids]

Could it be colic? I know mine did that when they were colicky and would never, never, never sleep!

[Live and Learn]

I am tired of the term RAGE BABY. That term should especially not be used on a three month old with reflux. Time to take baby to the doc. Poor lil guy.

[youretooloud]

I am tired of the term RAGE BABY. That term should especially not be used on a three month old with reflux. Time to take baby to the doc. Poor lil guy.

This is the first time I've heard it. What have I missed?

[Live and Learn]

You've got a RAGE baby on your hands

:confused: In a three month old with reflux?:confused:

[nannyde]

It sounds like there is way more to his medical issues than refulx. The having to have the bottle held a certain way and the pushing of the feet while he's eating sound like pain responses.

Whatever medication they are giving him isn't working. Is there any chance she is holding off his medicine for times when he is with her? Is there any chance he's not getting the medicine?

Does motion help? Will he do the swing?

First thing to do is to be clear to the Mom that you are not qualified to care for a infant with this special need. It's not realistic for you to have to keep him up most of the day and not leave his side for a bit to relax and get something to eat. It's not abnormal for a three month old to sleep four of seven hours so expecting you to keep him up and to have him in your arms all day moving around is asking for nursing care not nanny care.

Secondly she needs to be clearly told that she will not speak to you like that. She needs to keep her behavior in check and act like an adult or she can find someone else. She doesn't GET to be hateful and put completely unrealistic demands on you.

If the kid is medically needy she needs a qualified person there to treat his medical needs.

It's time to give this up and have her find a special doctor for him medically and a trained medical proffessional care wise. She knows how poorly he is doing and she just hired a regular nanny. NOT cool. She's the parent and she is responsible for hiring a person qualified to deal with his medical issues.

[cheerfuldom]

I know you care about this kid but mom can find another person easily that is willing to put up with her demands for pay. I would find another job and then give her the two weeks notice. It doesn't sound like you have the experience to deal with such a high needs kid and it doesn't sound like mom is approachable to help find solutions. She doesn't care that much as long as you have to deal with it or at least that is the feeling I am getting. Find another family that will appreciate your willingness to please them and work hard.

[Unregistered]

I don't know your financial situation, but if you can immediately leave I would. I say that because there is much more going on here, yes you do have a "rage baby", BUT often its the parents that are facilitating the child's behavior. Yes it starts when they are an infant and its basic psychology. If he didn't have any medical problems you would still be encountering this with the child and mother. Why beat yourself up, and put up with a mother that just doesn't get it, and clearly has some real issues of her own. We have all had parents and children come to our daycares that were horrible, 9 times out of 10 the parent made the child that way because of poor parenting or lack of.

Not only that its sounds like a hugh liability to me, and why not find another family who would appreciate you without all the issues.