Things Just Got Way To Personal For Me!

[NiNi.R.]

Sooo my one and only DCM that ever causes me problems helped to cause things to get real awkward around here. She is 34 and works with my 21 year old brother. So my youngest brother was cruising around town last Friday night at 1:30am he comes across the older brother's truck at my DCM's house and calls me the next morning to tell me this. So when I confront him about it...he says he had been drinking with a few buddies when she invited him over so he went and things went to far because obviously he wasn't sober and that will NOT be happening again. Now let me just add that this is not a habit of my brothers BUT DCM's last boyfriend was also 21 years old.

Now I'm pretty sure she doesn't know I know and had we not caught my brother I probably wouldn't have found out but she did act super weird Monday morning and I was mad enough I could of smacked her in the face but I of course refrained myself. I realize her personal life is none of my business but they kind of made it real hard for me to stay out of it...ugh! and the gross factor on top of it just makes it even worse. I figure I can't really do much about it except for maybe find some reason to terminate. I plan to raise my rates in January and was feeling kind of guilty about it because she's a single mom and all that...but now I'm feeling a little less guilty and really hoping she just decides to take her kids elsewhere.

IDK...how would you handle things?

[JenNJ]

Well, you have to decide of this is someone you can work with. If not, terminate. It isn't your business what she OR your brother does in their personal lives. But if you don't want her as a client BC She overstepped boundaries, term her.

[cheerfuldom]

why not raise rates now?

[daycare]

yeah that would be weird, but you have to realize regardless of the age difference your brother is just as much at fault.

I think that i too would have a hard time with it, but what happens outside of your business really should be of no concern to you. Your little brother made it your business, which I am not too sure that I would want to know what anyone does behind closed doors.

If you feel akward with her then I would just raise rates and let her find herself her own way out. I think that if you were to put out the notice now that rates are going up, and give everyone 30 days that would be fair.

I agree with the other poster dont wait to raise the rate. It might not sound fair, but if it is truly getting under your skin to where you can't get over it, then get her out any way you can....If she doesnt leave when you raise the rates then you might need to have a plan B

[youretooloud]

why not raise rates now?

Bahaha!!!

OK... I'd stay out of this. I think it's a little gross too, but I think i'd try to put it out of my mind for the sake of the child. If I really couldn't handle the mom anyway... before all of this, I'd find a reason to drop them.

I bet your brother will let it slip to her that you know. Hopefully she's mortified.

[nannyde]

ewwwwwwwwwwwww

how uncomfortable is that?

[sharlan]

You might find it gross/embarassing, but it's really their business, no one elses.

[Meyou]

I think it's pretty freaking wierd to pick up your childcare providers younger brother. I HOPE she didn't know he was related to you.

[Childminder]

What difference does the age make if they are good people, you like her/him, and they make each other happy? Would not bother me at all. Age is just a number its the personality of the person that matters..

[Unregistered]

ummmm small town?

The age thing is no big deal and the fact is, it is none of your business. Sorry you had to know, but gossip is what it is and so is family. No where in your contract does it say "Brothers are off limits...."

But - you have every right to tell her you are just not comfortable anymore.

[TBird]

Mmmmmm...if it were my brother, kind of awkward but bottom line not my business. IMHO....

[littlemissmuffet]

Personally, I don't think this is a valid reason to terminate. As others have pointed out, it's none of your business... and most certaintly should not affect your business!

[wdmmom]

I'd terminate and SOON!

I just see this being a big mess and it's going to blow up in your face although you had nothing to do with it.

If your brother is sleeping with this woman and he cuts it off, what's the next best thing to retaliate on??? YOU!!! It'll either be 1 of 2 things:

1.) Either she is going to come clean and tell you that something was going on (after the fact) and beg you to talk to him and help patch this all up because she's so in love, blah, blah, blah

2.) If they're sleeping together (especially if it was a one night stand) or if she's the obsessive type, you can bet that the sun will come up everyday that she is going to retaliate to you.

It's going to turn to a bad situation and quick.

If you think it's ackward now, just wait until your brother comes to pick up the DCK! ::::::

[NiNi.R.]

To answer everybody's questions...
1. I realize it is absolutely none of my business..hence what makes it even more awkward.
2. I realize it's not just her but also my brother that caused it. Believe me..he got an earful. This is NOT something that is turning into a relationship. He went on and on about how weird it was and that it won't be happening again.
3. I'm not raising rates now because I just handed out new contracts and it feels a little irresponsible to me to change something already. Plus, December is going to be a transition time where i have new kids coming in and some leaving.
4. So far this week I've just been putting it out of my mind when I see her and I'm sure I'll get over it as long as it doesn't turn into a relationship in which case I will be terminating. It was more the gross factor I felt like sharing as I read this forum pretty often but I haven't read about something quite like this.

[Meeko]

Yep to the yuck factor!

Hopefully you can fill your thoughts with rainbows and unicorns and candy canes instead of.......