Please Help W/ Term

[sharlan]

IMHO, do not text/call/email any non emergency info to a parent during the day. They have a job to do and can't do it if they are communicating with their provider all day. Likewise, providers have a job to do and it isn't updating the parent all day long. Quick updates can be given at pickup.

Yes, a soggy diaper on a 3 yo is disgusting, but it's not the end of the world. Change the diaper and move on with your day. The mom knows that the bf walks on water and won't appreciate you telling her otherwise.

If you decide to term, keep it short and sweet as the above provider wrote. If you fear retaliation, notify your licensor and let it go.

[PeanutsGalore]

Yes actually I am desperate for the money. If I term her I will only have the 1 other child in care. There are sooo many home daycares around here it's hard to fill spots. I can't raise my family on $600 a month so I admitt I am desperate.

I WANT to term I am just sick and ready to be done but I feel I can't. I have to pay rent and bills and food etc. I need another client so I can term her ASAP. That's where my mind is this minute.

I was thinking after she had calmed down maybe a good talking to as I have never really went off on her and sat her for a discussion. BUT I think with her track record she will get defensive as usual and withdraw again. I just dont get this! I dont get what the problem was here today! Am I missing something?

I'm sorry, I missed that you need the money. I've been there...and I didn't even admit I had to term until I had found another client. Rest assured, the problem is not you.

Don't communicate with this woman for any reason other than emergencies. Have her kid packed and ready to go at pickup each day so she doesn't linger. And put ALL of your energy into finding a new client.

I know it's hard, but if she doesn't care whether or not her kid is being properly taken care of by the new man, there's no need for you to worry yourself sick over it. Just take care of the baby best you can while he's with you, and send him home at night. Good luck to you, and I'm sorry you're going through this. You'll find someone to replace the income. Keep us up to date!

[Unregistered]

OP here, After being blown off/ignored by DCM at pick up and her making a small rude gesture for spite she then she texted again in the evening asking for me to allow her kid to come tomorrow after all. I have made the decision to terminate this family and just pray I can fill the spot soon. To avoid possible retaliation and the drama that would surely follow after giving the real reason why (mama drama) I decided to go another route and would like opinions on such.

I have been thinking for months about changing my daycare times because my family doesn't get a single meal together and I have this particular child into the evening at least 6:30 sometimes 7:00. My daycare closes at 6:00 but I allow 30 mins everyday for her and sometimes she is still late. Also a result my own child feels he doesn't have enough quality alone time with me. So I have decided to go this route and use this excuse as it too has been brewing in my mind for many months. Using this reason will allow me to term without the drama or as much, because DCM will not be able to pick the child up by the new closing time which will be 5:00 PM. The other child in care is picked up by 4:00 so it would work out. So here is what I have come up with. Should I state that the change in the program is a new closing time, or leave it as is, or something else? Thank you for your help!!



Date

Dear DCM,

Please accept this letter as notice of termination for Johnny.

Due to program changes, I will no longer be able to provide care for Johnny after July 1, 2011. Our local resource and referral contact # is 555-5555, they can assist you in finding alternate care that will better fit your needs..

Our contract agreement and CCRR requires that I give a 2 week notice. I am providing a 3 week notice so that you may have ample time to find another provider. Johnnys last day of care will be July 1, 2011.

Thank you for the opportunity to teach Johnny so much. I wish you and your family all the best in the future.

Sincerely,
Me

[Blackcat31]

OP here, After being blown off/ignored by DCM at pick up and her making a small rude gesture for spite she then she texted again in the evening asking for me to allow her kid to come tomorrow after all. I have made the decision to terminate this family and just pray I can fill the spot soon. To avoid possible retaliation and the drama that would surely follow after giving the real reason why (mama drama) I decided to go another route and would like opinions on such.

I have been thinking for months about changing my daycare times because my family doesn't get a single meal together and I have this particular child into the evening at least 6:30 sometimes 7:00. My daycare closes at 6:00 but I allow 30 mins everyday for her and sometimes she is still late. Also a result my own child feels he doesn't have enough quality alone time with me. So I have decided to go this route and use this excuse as it too has been brewing in my mind for many months. Using this reason will allow me to term without the drama or as much, because DCM will not be able to pick the child up by the new closing time which will be 5:00 PM. The other child in care is picked up by 4:00 so it would work out. So here is what I have come up with. Should I state that the change in the program is a new closing time, or leave it as is, or something else? Thank you for your help!!



Date

Dear DCM,

Please accept this letter as notice of termination for Johnny.

Due to program changes, I will no longer be able to provide care for Johnny after July 1, 2011. Our local resource and referral contact # is 555-5555, they can assist you in finding alternate care that will better fit your needs..

Our contract agreement and CCRR requires that I give a 2 week notice. I am providing a 3 week notice so that you may have ample time to find another provider. Johnnys last day of care will be July 1, 2011.

Thank you for the opportunity to teach Johnny so much. I wish you and your family all the best in the future.

Sincerely,
Me

I think it sounds simple and to the point. Adding anything else will just open the door to negotiation on her part. Do not tell her it is because of your wanting to change closing times (what if she has a friend who will pick up? ). If she asks any questions, just keep telling her that you will be unable to provide the type of services she/her child requires.

The last line where you say "Thank you for allowing me to teach Johnny so much." is just not sitting right with me for some reason.....could you change it to something like, "I enjoyed my time with Johnny. I wish you and your family all the best in the future." Or maybe just not say anything except the wishing her family the best...

I don't know, it may just be me....

Good luck! You can do this!!

[Live and Learn]

In this situation....with the mom being so disrespectful I would only give the two week notice and I would give her this notice right away. Last day June 9th.

[Unregistered]

I think it sounds simple and to the point. Adding anything else will just open the door to negotiation on her part. Do not tell her it is because of your wanting to change closing times (what if she has a friend who will pick up? ). If she asks any questions, just keep telling her that you will be unable to provide the type of services she/her child requires.

The last line where you say "Thank you for allowing me to teach Johnny so much." is just not sitting right with me for some reason.....could you change it to something like, "I enjoyed my time with Johnny. I wish you and your family all the best in the future." Or maybe just not say anything except the wishing her family the best...

I don't know, it may just be me....

Good luck! You can do this!!

Thank u so much Blackcat!! I was wondering about the teaching part as well. The only reason I threw it in there is because that is the 1st thing her family members praise me for and they all brag about. DCM says all the time it's all me because she rarely spends time with him. When he 1st came here at 22 months he could only mumble a few words mama etc. Now he is turning 3 and he knows a large vocabulary, all of his colors, all of his shapes, even some planets. He speaks in full sentences and tells stories too! He's smart so I can't take all the credit but I appreciate what they say. I wanted to note my return appreciation I guess. I will omit it though. Thank u for helping me!!

BTW DCM was late 2 hrs today then text she was coming then another hour later still nothing so I text her asking of he was still coming. I wanted to leave and do some shopping if he wasn't. I waited 30 minutes and nothing so I started my lawn. I come in the house for a drink and she is blowing up my cell and house phone frantic she is going to lose her job and needs me now! 4 phone messages and 8 texts! I put the stuff away and called her back he's on the way now. I cannot wait to hand her this term. I now know I am making the right decision! I didn't get a sorry or nothing just "I NEED A SITTER!" Now tonight when she sees her fees attached to her bill she will turn noce and please i cant afford it etc... Moody I tell ya!

[Blackcat31]

to OP:

When this all goes down.....stand your ground because just from the "feel" of excitment in your posts about terming this mom, the actually feeling you are gonna have after they are gone is going to be euphoric!! Good for you!!

You are doing the right thing.

[MN Day Mom]

Date

Dear DCM,

Please accept this letter as notice of termination for Johnny.

Due to program changes, I will no longer be able to provide care for Johnny after July 1, 2011. Our local resource and referral contact # is 555-5555, they can assist you in finding alternate care that will better fit your needs..

Our contract agreement and CCRR requires that I give a 2 week notice. I am providing a 3 week notice so that you may have ample time to find another provider. Johnnys last day of care will be July 1, 2011.

Thank you for the opportunity to teach Johnny so much. I wish you and your family all the best in the future.

Sincerely,
Me

When are you giving her this notice? July 1st is like 5 weeks away??

[Unregistered]

When are you giving her this notice? July 1st is like 5 weeks away??

She will be on vacation until July 8th or 10th. I am giving it when she gets back so that I have time to print it and get a copy into the office as well. Today is DCB last day for 2 weeks. This way everyone has time to calm down and it may be more easily accepted.

[sharlan]

You should have given her the notice today, that way she could find another daycare while she was on vacation.

[wdmmom]

You should have given her the notice today, that way she could find another daycare while she was on vacation.

I completely agree! The sooner they are gone, the better! You've got time to interview and possibly fill the spot while he's on vacation!

Since you didn't give the letter to them personally, I'd send it to them.

Why prolong the inevitable?!::::::

[Unregistered]

I completely agree! The sooner they are gone, the better! You've got time to interview and possibly fill the spot while he's on vacation!

Since you didn't give the letter to them personally, I'd send it to them.

Why prolong the inevitable?!::::::

To tell you the truth, I actually climbed back up on the fence yesterday. I sat watching DCB play and just started taking it all in how far he has come and then when I took him out for dinner he was so polite and mannerly it just mad me sad to think I had to let him go because of her. So I didn't rush to get the paperwork ready I let it sit. I also thought it would ruin her vacation. Plus we have both been upset so it may have caused her to go off right there so I wanted to let the jets cool and take the week to think and calm everyone down. Watching dcb as if it may be the last day I would see him was what really made me back off. I just can't throw away a child that has come so far with me for over a year. Kids just take my heart sometimes u know. Anyway when she picked up she had attitude over something else so when she left I was thinking I made a mistake and should have given her the notice. Too late now. I can't term in a text or by phone. She doesn't have email. So I will be giving it to her when she gets back.