I have a DCG who just turned 18 months. She's been here just over a month.
She had an extremely hard time starting daycare and still has a hard time with transitions. She refuses to get ready to go outside (among other daily activities) and I've been as accommodating and patient as I can be but after a month, it's really starting to interfere with the program. That's not really my issue right now though...
I literally can not get this child interested in anything! She'll swipe a crayon across a paper and stick some stickers but only on a very good day. Other than that, she literally sits or stands in the same place all day and just stares at me. It's been *weeks* and I've tried passing her toys/books/puzzles/art and she won't even glance down at what I'm holding, she just keeps staring at my face. If I place something in her hands, she'll immediately put it down then cross her arms and keep staring at me.
I wear a mask during the day but I've even been taking it off any time I'm 6 feet away because I thought maybe that might be it? But no change in the staring.
I'm so lost. I don't know if she needs something, if something is wrong, if something is hurting, if she's scared or worried or anxious... There's no facial expression, just staring.
She'll turn her head or body to keep me in sight and if I go to the far side of the room or out of her view, she'll jump up and start a half cry-half scream and run after me but that is literally the only emotion she shows. That's the only time of day that I know what's going on (she obviously doesn't want me out of sight) so at least then I can comfort her and know to help build those skills - but the rest of the day... I don't even know where to start.
I feel guilty because I don't know what she wants and I'm starting to get frustrated. I'm obviously not saying or doing anything to let her know that but I'm literally on the floor, shaking toys in front of this child's face, smiling, singing, and talking for 9 hours a day and there is 0 response. I'm wearing down and to be quite honest, the staring makes me uncomfortable. Just hearing her come in in the morning literally makes my stomach drop now.
I feel terrible and I want to remain patient and understanding but I have never dealt with something this intense before. I know it's only been a month and she's adjusting, but for me that's still what, 180 hours of flat-out entertaining and trying to engage a child who is not reciprocating in any way.
I feel like a circus clown with no one in the audience. What do I do? I'm currently pulling back, trying to be too boring to watch and just using verbal prompts every little bit to encourage her to go do something - anything! - but even as I type this she's standing a couple feet away from me just staring, as she has been for the last 2 hours.
I've also tried mentioning it to the parents but they seemed pretty defensive. I'm not trying to complain or imply anything about the child, I just genuinely need an in - just something, ANY insight to get through to this child. It's making for an incredibly long and uncomfortable day for both of us!
She had an extremely hard time starting daycare and still has a hard time with transitions. She refuses to get ready to go outside (among other daily activities) and I've been as accommodating and patient as I can be but after a month, it's really starting to interfere with the program. That's not really my issue right now though...
I literally can not get this child interested in anything! She'll swipe a crayon across a paper and stick some stickers but only on a very good day. Other than that, she literally sits or stands in the same place all day and just stares at me. It's been *weeks* and I've tried passing her toys/books/puzzles/art and she won't even glance down at what I'm holding, she just keeps staring at my face. If I place something in her hands, she'll immediately put it down then cross her arms and keep staring at me.
I wear a mask during the day but I've even been taking it off any time I'm 6 feet away because I thought maybe that might be it? But no change in the staring.
I'm so lost. I don't know if she needs something, if something is wrong, if something is hurting, if she's scared or worried or anxious... There's no facial expression, just staring.
She'll turn her head or body to keep me in sight and if I go to the far side of the room or out of her view, she'll jump up and start a half cry-half scream and run after me but that is literally the only emotion she shows. That's the only time of day that I know what's going on (she obviously doesn't want me out of sight) so at least then I can comfort her and know to help build those skills - but the rest of the day... I don't even know where to start.
I feel guilty because I don't know what she wants and I'm starting to get frustrated. I'm obviously not saying or doing anything to let her know that but I'm literally on the floor, shaking toys in front of this child's face, smiling, singing, and talking for 9 hours a day and there is 0 response. I'm wearing down and to be quite honest, the staring makes me uncomfortable. Just hearing her come in in the morning literally makes my stomach drop now.
I feel terrible and I want to remain patient and understanding but I have never dealt with something this intense before. I know it's only been a month and she's adjusting, but for me that's still what, 180 hours of flat-out entertaining and trying to engage a child who is not reciprocating in any way.
I feel like a circus clown with no one in the audience. What do I do? I'm currently pulling back, trying to be too boring to watch and just using verbal prompts every little bit to encourage her to go do something - anything! - but even as I type this she's standing a couple feet away from me just staring, as she has been for the last 2 hours.
I've also tried mentioning it to the parents but they seemed pretty defensive. I'm not trying to complain or imply anything about the child, I just genuinely need an in - just something, ANY insight to get through to this child. It's making for an incredibly long and uncomfortable day for both of us!
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