My Son Is Pushing Daycare Children

[Ariana]

It is definitely a gray area.

As a parent my kids learned the provider's child was akin "teacher's pet". They vented non-stop about the "special" treatment the providers child received daily. It wasn't anything big or super special just enough that my kids knew.

They were also very aware of the why. The providers child had to live with the DCK's in their house, sharing their parent etc etc. but just because you know something doesn't change the way it makes you feel.

I am not saying you or anyone else is wrong I am just sharing my personal experience as a parent with kids in that situation.

As a provider, I went to great lengths to make sure my family didn't have to ever be in this position. I know it's not always an option but we all have "baggage" from our childhoods that we felt impacted us whether negatively or positively. It all influences who we are later. Same as having siblings or not having siblings etc...

You just do the best job as a parent that you can and hope your kids turn out okay. !

I agree and I also agree with not putting my kids in home daycare where that might happen! It is the sacrifice I made for my kids staying home. Centres are even worse where educators pick favourites and dote on that child etc. I have seen some terrible stuff that I would never dream of doing and it isn’t even their kid!! Business has also gotten infinitely easier now that my kids are in school full time!

[Ariana]

I don't think anyone would believe you would ever do anything to make any child feel less than. I took it as clarifying. :hug::hug:

lovethis

[Baby Beluga]

I find this interesting. Heading the advice I have read from here, I take a lot of precautions to make sure my own children are not treated any differently than my DCK's. DD is in school all day, however my son is part of my group and as many providers children, he likes to act out when parents are here. As a result he has a special basket of toys that he plays with in his room during pick ups and drop offs and I never post him in pictures that I post to my business FB page. I see it as parents are paying me to provide care for their children, they don't want to see mine in the photos.

Almost every single parent has asked where he is and why he isn't in the room during pick and drop off times.

I have also noticed when my own children are not present during interviews, those families never enroll. When my children are present, they enroll.

It's odd and I can't figure out why.

[CountryRoads]

Hi,

My son (2 years old) has started pushing my daycare children. It started with fairly gentle pushes, but he has started pushing harder. Today he pushed two children hard enough for them to fall over. He does not push for any apparent reason- it is not out of frustration or related to fighting over a toy. He seems to think it is a game- if they cry or tell him to stop, he continues, and when I tell him "No pushing", he laughs.

I'm wondering if it is due to jealousy, since he sees me paying attention to these children and sees them playing with "his" toys?

How would you recommend responding to this behavior?

Thank you in advance!

I always say my youngest child is the worst behaved one I have. My daycare is on a separate floor, so he stays upstairs most days and does what he wants to. He has his own room full of his toys that are not allowed to be in the daycare. He can watch TV an he occasionally comes down if he wants to. During nap, it is just him and I and I make sure to give him all my attention.

He acts up horribly at pick-up, so he is not allowed to be in the daycare when parents are here.

I do give him special treatment, but the other kids don't know it. As I type this, he is eating a brownie upstairs But, he also sacrifices a lot because of daycare, so I try to be more patient and understanding.

I also close several days, usually over the summer, so it can be just me and my kids.

I'm sure it's hard on them. They just don't understand. Can you give him his own space, own toys, and find time to give him 1 on 1 attention?

[Jo123ABC]

I treat mine special too. I'm not a touchy feely type of person though and the dcks know it. I'm not their mom. I'm not their grandma. Those roles are special to them and already occupied by their loved ones. I'm not afraid to talk to them about it either. They all know I love them. They also know I'm my kids' mommy not theirs. There's nothing wrong with that and I refuse to feel bad about it. My kids also have their own things and rooms to go to. They keep the things they don't want shared in their rooms. I would not put my kid in a playpen personally. I send them to their own room/space because this is their home and that's where they can safely go and "get away" if the daycare scene isn't working for them.
If it were my 2 year old pushing, he'd be in his room in time out often and/or redirected. I'd also keep letting him know that it's not nice and he needs to be nice to his friends. My kids get time out for the same reasons any of the others do. No special treatment there. One thing I say a lot is "Hurting our friends is not okay." It's right up there with "we don't play with that toy like that" and "we're at the table to eat. You can play when you're done" ::