Nap Time Drama

[TwinMama]

So it seems like one set of my parents is never honest with me. The most recent incident is how their baby is a terrible sleeper. Mom JUST revealed that he takes 3 30 minute naps at home when he's there on the weekends. Here I had finally got him to stay on schedule with the other kids. Now I'm back to square one. I told them to keep me in the loop on what they do at home. They of course don't.

Mom and Dad both swear up and down that he sleeps on his back. His brother however literally showed me how he sleeps and he said he sleeps on his belly.

How long before it takes you to get a 9 month old back on track. Monday's are the most difficult, because I feel like I have to retrain this baby.

[Blackcat31]

So it seems like one set of my parents is never honest with me. The most recent incident is how their baby is a terrible sleeper. Mom JUST revealed that he takes 3 30 minute naps at home when he's there on the weekends. Here I had finally got him to stay on schedule with the other kids. Now I'm back to square one. I told them to keep me in the loop on what they do at home. They of course don't.

Mom and Dad both swear up and down that he sleeps on his back. His brother however literally showed me how he sleeps and he said he sleeps on his belly.

How long before it takes you to get a 9 month old back on track. Monday's are the most difficult, because I feel like I have to retrain this baby.

Does he roll over?

If so, you can't make him stay on his back.
You can only place him on his back for nap but there's no guarantee he'll stay that way which IIRC, is perfectly acceptable within eye sight.

[TwinMama]

Does he roll over?

If so, you can't make him stay on his back.
You can only place him on his back for nap but there's no guarantee he'll stay that way which IIRC, is perfectly acceptable within eye sight.

No he doesn't. He doesn't do anything. He hasn't even attempted crawling. Nothing.

[Cat Herder]

If this child can't roll over at 9 months, you have much bigger problems. :hug:

Have you completed ASQ's? Is this a developmental problem or a confinement equipment problem?

How much time does this child spend on the floor with toys? It should be the majority of the day. Every day.

[Ariana]

Lack of sleep is likely contributing to his slow development. I had a 12 month old that was similar, came here barely able to crawl and a month later after parents ironed out her sleep she is self feeding, pulling to a stand and cruising...she just started crawling upstairs this week!

I would tell the parents to sleep train and if sleeping does not improve the development then require an evaluation. Sleep is the most important thing for a child. I have had kids in the past with terrible sleep schedules at home and every Monday I would need to sleep train them, by Wednesday they were perfect, then I had to do it all over again the following week. None of these kids were developing typically.

[TwinMama]

If this child can't roll over at 9 months, you have much bigger problems. :hug:

Have you completed ASQ's? Is this a developmental problem or a confinement equipment problem?

How much time does this child spend on the floor with toys? It should be the majority of the day. Every day.

This is a "parents don't really want to take the time to be parents". From day one baby cries Mom wears him or puts him in bed with them. She hasn't herself even fed him in I can't tell you how long. She brings him to me in the morning when he screams because it takes too long and is annoying to feed him she says. I feed him here and Dad does it at home. I can tell when baby wakes up by how early she brings him.

I'm actually the person that initiated him playing on the floor with toys. Dad came and picked him up and said..."Do you really just let him sit and play like that?"

I told them multiple times that he needed to be put in a regular bed or pack and play. They kept him in a bassinet even when his legs were hanging over the side. Their doctor finally warned them that he would use circulation if they didn't switch.

If it inconveniences them they don't want to do it.

[TwinMama]

Lack of sleep is likely contributing to his slow development. I had a 12 month old that was similar, came here barely able to crawl and a month later after parents ironed out her sleep she is self feeding, pulling to a stand and cruising...she just started crawling upstairs this week!

I would tell the parents to sleep train and if sleeping does not improve the development then require an evaluation. Sleep is the most important thing for a child. I have had kids in the past with terrible sleep schedules at home and every Monday I would need to sleep train them, by Wednesday they were perfect, then I had to do it all over again the following week. None of these kids were developing typically.

How long did the kids you sleep trained cry for? This kid will literally scream for 2 hours if I let him. I'm going to have to term them if this keeps happening every day.

[Blackcat31]

If it inconveniences them they don't want to do it.

...then why do you?

[Blackcat31]

I don't mean that (above) rudely I am just curious why you allow them to push parenting off onto you?

If I were a nanny and being paid well for it, I'd consider it but as a group care provider I would never allow that.

Infants MUST be fed within an hour PRIOR to drop off and no way would I be okay with a baby that is developmentally behind due to parental behavior. That's unfair to baby and to you. Poor little dude.

[TwinMama]

I don't mean that (above) rudely I am just curious why you allow them to push parenting off onto you?

If I were a nanny and being paid well for it, I'd consider it but as a group care provider I would never allow that.

Infants MUST be fed within an hour PRIOR to drop off and no way would I be okay with a baby that is developmentally behind due to parental behavior. That's unfair to baby and to you. Poor little dude.

I agree with you 100%.

My husband even says that I take it too personally and that I can't change the world. I guess I don't know how to approach it.

I messaged both parents and asked if he's still sleeping in his crib like we had discussed, because he's back to screaming his head off when I put him down. Mom said yes. She thinks he's screaming his head off because he had a cold that he doesn't have anymore.

I know their lying, but I can't call them liars. I want to so badly.

[Blackcat31]

I agree with you 100%.

My husband even says that I take it too personally and that I can't change the world. I guess I don't know how to approach it.

I messaged both parents and asked if he's still sleeping in his crib like we had discussed, because he's back to screaming his head off when I put him down. Mom said yes. She thinks he's screaming his head off because he had a cold that he doesn't have anymore.

I know their lying, but I can't call them liars. I want to so badly.

Yeah, I can see how calling them liars wouldn't be very nice but you can give the issue back to the parents.

Set up a plan for sleep training. Let mom/dad know he MUST be able to sleep on his own on his back by X date.

If you don't see improvement by that date, I'd consider letting him go.

If he screams his head off and disrupts others during rest time, I'd set a time limit there too. I call for pick up any time an infant cries continuously for 90 minutes. I simply will not allow them to be that distressed (and upset others) because my routine is different than what home life is like.

As for dropping off a hungry baby.... straight up tell them going forward he must be fed a full breakfast NO MORE than 30 minutes prior to arrival as you are no longer will or able to accept a starving child into care. This falls under "ready to participate as normal" in daily activities.

My state requires me to hold all children under 12 months when bottle feeding and I am unable to do that during morning drop offs with multiple families therefore I require ALL infants (under 12 months) to be fed prior to drop off.
If your state has the same/similar regulations I'd use that as a reason why you are no longer willing to accept him hungry.

[TwinMama]

Yeah, I can see how calling them liars wouldn't be very nice but you can give the issue back to the parents.

Set up a plan for sleep training. Let mom/dad know he MUST be able to sleep on his own on his back by X date.

If you don't see improvement by that date, I'd consider letting him go.

If he screams his head off and disrupts others during rest time, I'd set a time limit there too. I call for pick up any time an infant cries continuously for 90 minutes. I simply will not allow them to be that distressed (and upset others) because my routine is different than what home life is like.

As for dropping off a hungry baby.... straight up tell them going forward he must be fed a full breakfast NO MORE than 30 minutes prior to arrival as you are no longer will or able to accept a starving child into care. This falls under "ready to participate as normal" in daily activities.

My state requires me to hold all children under 12 months when bottle feeding and I am unable to do that during morning drop offs with multiple families therefore I require ALL infants (under 12 months) to be fed prior to drop off.
If your state has the same/similar regulations I'd use that as a reason why you are no longer willing to accept him hungry.

One more question....a what would you do question....

I finally got little boy to sleep longer. Just in the morning though. Not in the afternoon. Would you ever consider 1 nap for a 10 month old?

If that doesn't work I'm just going to let him go.

[Blackcat31]

One more question....a what would you do question....

I finally got little boy to sleep longer. Just in the morning though. Not in the afternoon. Would you ever consider 1 nap for a 10 month old?

If that doesn't work I'm just going to let him go.

Yes, by the time they are 10 months I am aiming for that one nap a day routine. By 12 months they are used to a full afternoon nap (2-2.5 hours) with everyone else.

There are exceptions Ive made are for the kiddos that are here LOOOONG days...sometimes those ones do take a quick morning snooze but no longer than 30 minutes....because I still expect them to nap at regular nap time with the rest of the kiddos.

Hoping that helps. If not, don't be afraid to let him go. SOMEONE else's kid shouldn't be this much stress for you.

[Ariana]

I agree with everything BC is saying. I have had one baby cry for over an hour but he was here only 2 days a week and with grandma the rest. She was rocking him and putting him down whenever she felt like it. He was only with me for a few months as the parents were moving so I tuffed it out. Otherwise I would have told them that he goes with me full time or term. I was able to sleep train their other child but only because she was with me every day for naps and I would have to to retrain her every Monday.

I always suggest the book The Sleep Easy Solution to parents. It is an amazing book and I used it with my own kids.

[TwinMama]

So...baby slept 25 minutes then started to scream his head off. I mean screamed. I was trying to comfort him and when I came back out babies older brother was yelling "Honey" dancing with his shirt up over his head coaxing my kids to do it.

This was after he earlier was talking about penises.

I called Dad to come and pick them up. He asked why, and I said that if you can't hear it the baby is screaming his head off.

He came in took the baby and asked why the older boy was getting the boot too. I told him. He looks at boy and said "you were dancing during quiet time?"

I said," With his shirt up over his head which is completely inappropriate. This is not happening."

He looks at me and says "Ok, we'll take the night."

Then he leaves and tells the boy that he's ok. It's not a problem.

I'm sure somehow to them something will be my fault. He even texted me and asked when baby ate last. Which I replied an hour and a half ago.

Maybe I overreacted, but I don't think I did.