Hi! I’m new here...stumbled upon the site looking for related advice.
Please bare with me as a bit of backstory is needed.
I provide in my home care to several children. Here’s the kicker - they’re all related to me in some way (I know this isn’t something a lot of providers are willing to do)
I have 3 kids of my own, DS is almost 8, and my DD’s are 6 and 2.
I keep my nephew part time, and have a couple older kids that hang with us for 15-30 mins after school.
I keep a cousins 3 kids, they are almost 2, just turned 3, and 4. 6:30am-6pm, 5 days a week. (These are the kids/parents I need advice on)
So, I watched these kids before, for over a year. Dcm pulled them from me (one weeks notice) because her brothers girlfriend offered to watch them in their home cheaper. I was mad, but very understanding.
Fast forward almost a year and she calls asking if I would be interested in keeping them it’s not working with her brothers GF. Initially I was reluctant, but after talking to DH, decided I would agree to keep them but no special discount or anything.
I let her know I could/would, that it would be $20/day per kid. She then said she couldn’t afford that, and was going to look into a couple daycare centers (I know local prices, if she can’t afford the prices I gave her, she can’t pay for daycare - cheapest for 3 kids in the area would cost her at least $30/day/kid)
After a couple weeks she let me know that she wasn’t able to find a center with 3 openings that was affordable. Asked if I could start keeping them a couple weeks out. I agreed, and made sure she was aware of several things that I had dealt with with them before that I wouldn’t this time around:
1) She would have to send a lunch for each child - all three are very (VERRRRYYYY) picky eaters, and I’m not spending my paycheck on groceries to cater to them just to end up sweeping of off the floor. I explained my reasoning to her, she was understanding, no problems. (Except the kids still refuse to eat, but I offer it to them so...)
2) Pick-Ups after 6 would be charged a late fee - before her mother would pick up the kids most days and was always late. (Her mother doesn’t live far from me...one day I sent my husband to the local store to grab some milk and her mother was at home! But didn’t get here to p/u kids until almost 7pm) I told her if they weren’t picked up by 6pm, automatic $10 fee for that day - which, IMO isn’t enough, I know many people charge by the minute per child.
Fast forward to the Friday before they were to start, she lets me know the 3 yr old will be going to preschool and that he will need to ride the bus from my house at 10am and to my house in the afternoon. (So now, I have to drop everything and get this child on the bus -which comes any time between 9:45 and 10:30am) and she asks about payment for him since he will only be here from 6:30a-10a and then 3:30p-5:30ish. I agreed to $10/day for those day (M-Th)
So, the first 2 weeks went great. No complaints, no issues.
Week 3, dcd decided to keep the oldest home with him that week because he was on 3rd shift (more or less to save them $100 on childcare costs).
Week 4, dcd is on 2nd shift and decides to bring all 3 kids later - again, trying to save on costs. (I’ve agreed to charge half day if kids are dropped off after 12 or picked up before 12) He brings them at 12:30 and as he hands me their bags says “oh you’ll need to feed them lunch” (my nephew and youngest dd had already had lunch and we were getting them ready for naps) so, I fed them lunch, got everyone off our routine/schedule, and only charged for half a day for them.
Week 5, dcd is back on 1st and mom dropped off at 6:30am, and the oldest screams and throws a fit wanting to go with dad. Of course, the other two start in on a fit as well. Took close to an hour to get everyone calmed down and happy. The oldest pouted all day. Come time for lunch, he said he didn’t want to eat. I offered him everything he was packed anyways and he refused. I told him he didn’t have to eat, but he was going to sit at the table with everyone else until lunch was over. He looked at me and said “I’m going to make myself throw up”. I just figured it was an empty threat. Nope, after I wouldn’t let him get up, he gaged himself and thew up everywhere - I called and made mom come pick them all up and she said “he has a sensitive gag reflex and the drainage he’s been dealing with makes him puke sometimes”
Week 6(last week), dcd was back on 3rd and kept oldest with him. Everything was good, all week.
Week 7(this week): Dcd is off. I took Monday off due to a death in my family. Yesterday, when mom dropped them off, the oldest threw a fit and had everyone else upset. Mom texted later in the day asking if he ever cheered up, I told her he calmed down, but was still pouting. She said dcd was going to come get him (just after lunch time) and I told her if he came to pick one up, he had to take all 3 because the younger two would get upset. So, he never showed up.
Today, she texted at 7am to tell me dcd would be bringing them to me sometime today...so I can pretty much guarantee he will bring them after lunch, with soaked diapers, hungry and tired, and I’ll be left to deal with them being unnecessarily cranky and upset because they’re off their routine (younger two do great, all the time, unless the oldest gets them upset).
So...I have several questions.
1) how would you handle the oldest coming back after being with dad and upsetting everyone else?
2) how would you handle a child who purposely pukes because he didn’t get his way?
3) how Can I explain one drop off/one pick up very clearly, without sounding like a *badword*
Any helpful advice/suggestions appreciated.
The oldest is making me want to terminate.
Please bare with me as a bit of backstory is needed.
I provide in my home care to several children. Here’s the kicker - they’re all related to me in some way (I know this isn’t something a lot of providers are willing to do)
I have 3 kids of my own, DS is almost 8, and my DD’s are 6 and 2.
I keep my nephew part time, and have a couple older kids that hang with us for 15-30 mins after school.
I keep a cousins 3 kids, they are almost 2, just turned 3, and 4. 6:30am-6pm, 5 days a week. (These are the kids/parents I need advice on)
So, I watched these kids before, for over a year. Dcm pulled them from me (one weeks notice) because her brothers girlfriend offered to watch them in their home cheaper. I was mad, but very understanding.
Fast forward almost a year and she calls asking if I would be interested in keeping them it’s not working with her brothers GF. Initially I was reluctant, but after talking to DH, decided I would agree to keep them but no special discount or anything.
I let her know I could/would, that it would be $20/day per kid. She then said she couldn’t afford that, and was going to look into a couple daycare centers (I know local prices, if she can’t afford the prices I gave her, she can’t pay for daycare - cheapest for 3 kids in the area would cost her at least $30/day/kid)
After a couple weeks she let me know that she wasn’t able to find a center with 3 openings that was affordable. Asked if I could start keeping them a couple weeks out. I agreed, and made sure she was aware of several things that I had dealt with with them before that I wouldn’t this time around:
1) She would have to send a lunch for each child - all three are very (VERRRRYYYY) picky eaters, and I’m not spending my paycheck on groceries to cater to them just to end up sweeping of off the floor. I explained my reasoning to her, she was understanding, no problems. (Except the kids still refuse to eat, but I offer it to them so...)
2) Pick-Ups after 6 would be charged a late fee - before her mother would pick up the kids most days and was always late. (Her mother doesn’t live far from me...one day I sent my husband to the local store to grab some milk and her mother was at home! But didn’t get here to p/u kids until almost 7pm) I told her if they weren’t picked up by 6pm, automatic $10 fee for that day - which, IMO isn’t enough, I know many people charge by the minute per child.
Fast forward to the Friday before they were to start, she lets me know the 3 yr old will be going to preschool and that he will need to ride the bus from my house at 10am and to my house in the afternoon. (So now, I have to drop everything and get this child on the bus -which comes any time between 9:45 and 10:30am) and she asks about payment for him since he will only be here from 6:30a-10a and then 3:30p-5:30ish. I agreed to $10/day for those day (M-Th)
So, the first 2 weeks went great. No complaints, no issues.
Week 3, dcd decided to keep the oldest home with him that week because he was on 3rd shift (more or less to save them $100 on childcare costs).
Week 4, dcd is on 2nd shift and decides to bring all 3 kids later - again, trying to save on costs. (I’ve agreed to charge half day if kids are dropped off after 12 or picked up before 12) He brings them at 12:30 and as he hands me their bags says “oh you’ll need to feed them lunch” (my nephew and youngest dd had already had lunch and we were getting them ready for naps) so, I fed them lunch, got everyone off our routine/schedule, and only charged for half a day for them.
Week 5, dcd is back on 1st and mom dropped off at 6:30am, and the oldest screams and throws a fit wanting to go with dad. Of course, the other two start in on a fit as well. Took close to an hour to get everyone calmed down and happy. The oldest pouted all day. Come time for lunch, he said he didn’t want to eat. I offered him everything he was packed anyways and he refused. I told him he didn’t have to eat, but he was going to sit at the table with everyone else until lunch was over. He looked at me and said “I’m going to make myself throw up”. I just figured it was an empty threat. Nope, after I wouldn’t let him get up, he gaged himself and thew up everywhere - I called and made mom come pick them all up and she said “he has a sensitive gag reflex and the drainage he’s been dealing with makes him puke sometimes”
Week 6(last week), dcd was back on 3rd and kept oldest with him. Everything was good, all week.
Week 7(this week): Dcd is off. I took Monday off due to a death in my family. Yesterday, when mom dropped them off, the oldest threw a fit and had everyone else upset. Mom texted later in the day asking if he ever cheered up, I told her he calmed down, but was still pouting. She said dcd was going to come get him (just after lunch time) and I told her if he came to pick one up, he had to take all 3 because the younger two would get upset. So, he never showed up.
Today, she texted at 7am to tell me dcd would be bringing them to me sometime today...so I can pretty much guarantee he will bring them after lunch, with soaked diapers, hungry and tired, and I’ll be left to deal with them being unnecessarily cranky and upset because they’re off their routine (younger two do great, all the time, unless the oldest gets them upset).
So...I have several questions.
1) how would you handle the oldest coming back after being with dad and upsetting everyone else?
2) how would you handle a child who purposely pukes because he didn’t get his way?
3) how Can I explain one drop off/one pick up very clearly, without sounding like a *badword*
Any helpful advice/suggestions appreciated.
The oldest is making me want to terminate.
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