Interview? and Please DO Bring Child

[WBee]

Hello all! I recently gained a new opening in my home daycare (licensed for 6 so every child counts financially) and need to fill the spot. My only current inquiry is a mom who had interviewed here 2.5 yrs ago and chose elsewhere. She wants to come back for another "good fit" meeting as she is happy with curriculum at her current daughters home care however, isn't happy with their discipline methods and feels the provider is holding grudges the day after the child has made a "not so good behavior choice." She also informed me that she is on her 2nd daycare in 2.5 years. (Left 1st due to not enough learning activities.) She also stated that she knows all parents say this but her child is "advanced for 3.5 years old." Question, she wants to visit w/out the child and if we talk and she feels I'm a good fit, she will come back with the child. She doesn't want to upset her as she hasn't told her she wants to change daycares. I typically ask that the child come during the interview and if my red flags aren't failing me, this may not be a good fit already. How would you word this? I only want one meeting.

[Ac114]

Hello all! I recently gained a new opening in my home daycare (licensed for 6 so every child counts financially) and need to fill the spot. My only current inquiry is a mom who had interviewed here 2.5 yrs ago and chose elsewhere. She wants to come back for another "good fit" meeting as she is happy with curriculum at her current daughters home care however, isn't happy with their discipline methods and feels the provider is holding grudges the day after the child has made a "not so good behavior choice." She also informed me that she is on her 2nd daycare in 2.5 years. (Left 1st due to not enough learning activities.) She also stated that she knows all parents say this but her child is "advanced for 3.5 years old." Question, she wants to visit w/out the child and if we talk and she feels I'm a good fit, she will come back with the child. She doesn't want to upset her as she hasn't told her she wants to change daycares. I typically ask that the child come during the interview and if my red flags aren't failing me, this may not be a good fit already. How would you word this? I only want one meeting.

I personally wouldn’t entertain the interview at all. I see red flags and she sounds high maintenance. But that’s my personal opinion. Either way, I would say I don’t hold interviews without the child present. End of story.

[e.j.]

Even if the child is wonderful to care for, the mom sounds very high maintenance. Based on what you've shared, I wouldn't want to have to deal with her. If it were me, I would tell her what I recently told a red flag mom who had contacted me: "After thinking it over, I've decided not to fill the spot right now. Thank you for contacting me, though, and good luck in your search."

[Snowmom]

2 daycares in 2.5 years and the FIRST one "didn't have enough learning activities"- that's a hard no on enrollment from me.

I have a feeling this "advanced" child would be better suited in a formal school and I'd likely tell them that.

I also never do interviews without the child present. It's a waste of my time and theirs.

[Bluemoon5]

To borrow a phrase I heard recently, that mom has 'more red flags than a communist gift shop.'

[trytobearunner34]

My 2 Cents

Another vote for passing given the red flags. Just let her know you only hold one interview and since she is not comfortable with that model unfortunately it is not going to work out.

[DaveA]

+1 on the "red flag" alert. Sounds like Mom is looking for someone who she can boss around.

[Ariana]

+1 on the "red flag" alert. Sounds like Mom is looking for someone who she can boss around.

100%!! I would also decline to see her. If it ends badly you’ll be the next she bad mouths.

Funny how she wants to get a feel for how you will be but wasn’t able to do that the last two times. I can pretty much guarantee her kid got kicked out which is why she is not bringing her OR kid talked the last time she went looking for another provider.

I had a mom come and not bring her kids. I did not sign her on. Huge red flag for me!

[Blackcat31]

[Leigh]

To borrow a phrase I heard recently, that mom has 'more red flags than a communist gift shop.'

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I would look into selling a kidney on the black market before I willingly started a relationship with this DCM.

[Josiegirl]

I absolutely agree with every one who replied already. Well, except selling my kidney. I'd like to keep mine. ::

[Josiegirl]

I don't think you need to say much to her; just tell her you don't feel your dc will be a good fit.

[marshallbrown]

I am sorry but I don't know what is the red flag, can anyone please tell me?

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I am sorry but I don't know what is the red flag, can anyone please tell me?

These are the red flags in my opinion:

- this will be her third day care in less than 3 years. Most likely, the mom is seeking a daycare where she has complete control, which doesn't exist. The first daycare didn't teach enough for her "gifted" child, the second daycare doesn't discipline to her standards when her super smart 3 year old makes a "bad choice", and her third day care will probably have a policy she doesn't agree on, most likely napping, since her child is over 3 years old.

- Not wanting to bring her child to the interview. She says it's because she hasn't told her she's changing daycares, but most likely its bc she doesn't want her child to know and tell her current provider until mom is ready to move on. She doesn't want to lose her current daycare, until she has another one lined up, so bringing the daycare girl would compromise that. Another possible reason, is that daycare girl has significant behavioral issues, and was asked to leave those other daycares, so she wants to hide the fact her little sweetheart is not so perfect.

- the biggest red flag for me, though, is that she already checked her dc out, but chose not to go with it. In my opinion, if my daycare wasn't good enough the first time around, it's best not to entertain an interview when mom has lost her other options. It would make me question what has changed for her to now consider my daycare. If I haven't changed anything on my end, that means her situation has changed and it's generally not for a good reason. In this case, if Mom is telling the truth, the daycare she is seeking will offer high levels of academia, and a discipline style that may not be suitable for group care. I'm sure there will be other things she requires as well, but for me, those two issues would be enough to pass, as they go against my childcare philosophy. Most likely, their current provider is not holding a grudge against her daughter, but is frustrated with Mom's reaction to her daily reports of misbehavior. I would guess that mom makes excuses for why her daughter has poor behavior, versus working with the provider and her daughter to encourage better choices and enforce consequences when needed. When parents do this, it can instantly leave a bad taste in a provider's mouth when it comes to that child. The grudge is not with the child. It's with the parent who refuses to believe their child can do wrong. This is simply my experience, and maybe this mom is awesome and super great. If she brings her child to the interview and it all goes well, it could be a great working relationship. Past experience tells me otherwise, but there's only one way to find out.::

[Lovisa]

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I would look into selling a kidney on the black market before I willingly started a relationship with this DCM.