Birthday Party With No Gifts Request

[hwichlaz]

I would not expect them to open the gift at the party. I actually really dislike that tradition. Kids get too hyper and don’t appreciate their gifts in public. We always take gifts home and open them the next day after dinner

See to me, that's mean. I'd feel tortured as a kid knowing my parents were holding my gifts for another day. My behavior would have totally melted down.

[sahm1225]

See to me, that's mean. I'd feel tortured as a kid knowing my parents were holding my gifts for another day. My behavior would have totally melted down.

Oh that did sound mean, oops. I’m not holding the gifts hostage ::

By the time we finish the party and head home (usually i bring home my niece’s & nephews or a friend home with us), they play and then everyone goes home or spends the night. It’s not like I’m Holding the gifts saying you can’t open them, they just usually end up getting opened the next day. This year my 11 year old made sure he told his cousins that we would see them later that night, so no one came home with us and he opened them up right away.

[Cat Herder]

I'd probably just skip the party and mail a Birthday card with some cash or a gift card inside.

An adult party for a child's Birthday seems awkward.

"Come to our BBQ that also happens to be our Timmy's 5th Birthday, but don't bring him a gift because he has too much already" would feel off to me. I have a hard time believing Timmy feels the same. You only get so many kid parties in a lifetime.

That said if the party is the gift, like a child and a few of his friends going to race go-carts or to a solarium and 3-D movie, and the adults there are more supervisory, that sounds fun. I'd probably still hand the kids Dad an envelope for my kids' share of the costs under the table.

[Miss A]

We did a no gift party for our 2 year old this year. He still ended up with a mountain of gifts, and cards with cash for his savings account.

We chose to do this because we do not want to teach our son that birthdays and holidays are all about gifts. I want him to feel like he is being celebrated on his special day with friends and family who love him, and not think that he can only feel special based on the gifts given to him.

We also did this because we have SO. MUCH. STUFF. He has 2 toy boxes that are his alone. As well as a toy room, and all the daycare toys to choose from. An entire bookcase, as well as 2 large baskets full of books available to him, and until I went through and purged, 6 boxes packed away to rotate. He has totes and totes of clothes all the way up to size 4T, an entire closet, and 2 dressers full of clothes. We have a big family, who have all made sure he is well taken care of. We did not need to add to it.

If someone wants to give him a gift, we prefer it to be a gift to help him grow his savings account. That $20 toy gifted to him will only be played with for a few months, but a $20 contribution to his savings will gain interest for the next 16 years and help him enter adulthood with a sizable nest egg.

[CityGarden]

I don't think it's rude, but they probably really don't want anything. I've been getting more invitations like this and I've been giving movie passes with a card.

Yes we give a card (often homemade by my dd) and movie passes, passes to the local museum or passes to the local botanical garden. I tend to like gifting experiences over possessions anyway so this is not out of our norm.

[MarinaVanessa]

"Come to our BBQ that also happens to be our Timmy's 5th Birthday, but don't bring him a gift because he has too much already" would feel off to me. I have a hard time believing Timmy feels the same. You only get so many kid parties in a lifetime.

This is exactly my kids ... all 3 except my 2 yo, she's too young to know yet. We'll see how she is as she gets older.

My kids don't want to/have to wait for their birthday/Christmas for toys/gifts. They see something they like and ask if they have enough saved up. If they do we take them to get it, if they don't they save up for it.

My 7-year-old turns 8 next month and asked us not to throw him a birthday party this year. My 13-year-old turns 14 in December and she did too. Last year both asked for nothing and got a lot of gifts and most of it they donated to Toys for Tots. Some was clothes and that was donated to the shelter (we had the Thomas fire going on in early December). My kids just have specific styles or taste in toys and clothes and I feel like it's a waste for people to gift them things that my kids don't use. My 13yo likes punk and black ... people always buy her pink to wear ::