Are There Kids In Your Group...

[Hunni Bee]

...that you just don't allow to play with each other?

I've got one who is an extreme follower, to the point where he becomes the person he's copying. He likes to glomm himself onto the class troublemaker. Together they are hell on wheels.

I don't even let them talk to each other. But I feel guilty, like I'm overreaching by picking their friends. Am I?

[knoxmomof2]

Any time I separate, I always let them try again- maybe they're separated until lunch, or for the rest of the afternoon, etc. How typical the behavior is between them, how long they're separated for and how quickly I separate them all depends on how bad the problem is and how likely I think it is they'll resolve the issue. I hope that makes sense? So, if 2 dck's have been spatting all week over the same thing and I've modeled how to handle the issue and they're not responding appropriately, then I'm going to separate them longer and faster than the first time 2 other kids start fighting over a toy, for example.

In your situation, I would maybe give them a little more of a chance to handle it themselves if the behavior isn't harming anyone and it isn't annoying you too badly, but if it's just overboard or a slippery slope of behaviors then you stop it sooner.

[Blackcat31]

I don't separate during play, but they all have to follow the same rules such as using manners, being polite and not physical in any way but I also don't make anyone play with someone they don't want to play with.

I detest the "we're all friends here" concept.

I do however put certain kids next to certain kids during lunch and rest time. Some simply don't do well within arms reach of others.

[Hunni Bee]

Any time I separate, I always let them try again- maybe they're separated until lunch, or for the rest of the afternoon, etc. How typical the behavior is between them, how long they're separated for and how quickly I separate them all depends on how bad the problem is and how likely I think it is they'll resolve the issue. I hope that makes sense? So, if 2 dck's have been spatting all week over the same thing and I've modeled how to handle the issue and they're not responding appropriately, then I'm going to separate them longer and faster than the first time 2 other kids start fighting over a toy, for example.

In your situation, I would maybe give them a little more of a chance to handle it themselves if the behavior isn't harming anyone and it isn't annoying you too badly, but if it's just overboard or a slippery slope of behaviors then you stop it sooner.

Its not that they don't get along, they get along great . Its the choices that they male together that's the problem.

The leader feels emboldened by his new little shadow and makes worse choices than he usually would. The follower just copies any and everything he does.

I have to separate them so many times in a day that I find it better to just have them play with other people. I just feel funny about it.

[flying_babyb]

YEP!! we had two boys who couldn't play together nicely EVER! It was so bad they couldn't even sit by each other to eat. we ended up just splitting into groups everyday. The turtles group played at X time while the Turkeys did table toys. Worked great

[DaveA]

In one of my center classrooms I had 3 boys who were great friends but not great at playing together. The room we shared a bathroom with thought Brendan Daniel Thomas was one child because if I said 1 name I was saying all 3. I don't separate kids per se, but some kids I know I have to keep a closer eye on if they are together.

[Indoorvoice]

I don't tell them they are separated, but I often direct them to separate things. I find I have to do this a lot with siblings. The oldest always wants to "mother" or "father" the baby and it drives me batty.

[kendallina]

I have in the past. But only for a short amount of time do I separate them. I also combine it with being very specific about their behavior and will even pull each child aside and explain what I need from them when they're playing with the other child. Then lots of praise. But I have older kids, too (3-5 year olds)...not sure of the ages of yours.

[Snowmom]

I have two little girls right now who are inseparable.
Yes, they make terrible choices together- independently, they're pretty well behaved. One has been here for over a year and was the most angelic little thing ever. When her new bff started, she showed a whole new level of naughty.

I don't separate them. But, when they get in trouble together, they are told to find something else to do. My biggest beef is at lunch when they sit by one another and start pounding cups, silverware, plates, chairs, walls, just "because". So now, they're not allowed to sit next to each other at lunch.

I say, take the most annoying time they act up and separate then. Try to let the rest slide.