My Child is The Problem!

[MichiganMom]

My daughter (4) is acting out when parents come to the door to drop off or pick up. She is fine at all other times of the day.

She whines, wants to eat, needs water, wants to hold the door open for the parents dropping off. It is becoming so much of an issue that I am putting her in time outs after the parents leave. I can’t have a conversation with a mom or dad without her causing an issue.

Any suggestions? I’m ready to term her!

[hwichlaz]

She old enough to understand why that's not okay. I'd make her earn the privilege of being out of her room during pick up time. Otherwise, she needs to play quietly in her room at that time. If she is uncooperative there need to be consequences.

[Rockgirl]

She old enough to understand why that's not okay. I'd make her earn the privilege of being out of her room during pick up time. Otherwise, she needs to play quietly in her room at that time. If she is uncooperative there need to be consequences.

I agree with this. My son was doing the same when he was 6-7. I started having him go to his room when the first parent pulled up for pickup, and he stayed till everyone was gone. After awhile, he had another chance and did fine.

[DaveA]

She old enough to understand why that's not okay. I'd make her earn the privilege of being out of her room during pick up time. Otherwise, she needs to play quietly in her room at that time. If she is uncooperative there need to be consequences.

This is what I had to do when my son was about that age did the same stuff.

[Leigh]

She old enough to understand why that's not okay. I'd make her earn the privilege of being out of her room during pick up time. Otherwise, she needs to play quietly in her room at that time. If she is uncooperative there need to be consequences.

Do this! Also, don't wait for parents to leave to put her in time out! She is still getting her reward until the parent leaves. Put her in time out the moment the behavior happens-obviously, the attention she gets while the parent is present is worth the time out that she KNOWS is coming. Take away that attention the moment that the negative behavior occurs.

[Baby Beluga]

I agree with all PP's, send her to her room. I had (and still do) do this with my own daughter. And now I have to place my 16 month old over the gate separating the classroom from the rest of the house because even he has started acting out when parents come.

[Annalee]

Not sure if this helps but wanted to share something with you. My sons are now 16 and 14. But when they were small and in daycare I wanted my first to be this "follow the rule, bestest behaved kid". He seemed to always do something when licensing would come in. One day, she emailed me after her visit and told me "I was nit-picking him and to allow him to go along like the others". I had known her for years as her kids were in the center I had worked at in the 80's before beginning my home child care in 1992. So I took her advice and I was much better with my second son. I think alot of my first son's behavior was due to my way of dealing with him and allowing him to stress me which stressed him. Just some thoughts!

[Pestle]

My nearly-6yo is becoming more and more disruptive at pick up, so she has to stay in her room.

[MarinaVanessa]

Nannyde once gave me great advice a loooong time ago with my then 3yo (she's 13 now).
I placed a chair in the kitchen (i used a small kids chair) and explained to her before the parents arrived that if she acts out (and specifically talk about what acting out means) that she would be placed in the chair away from the parents.

Sure enough, it happened again ... parents arrived and she clung to their legs, asked them and me a million questions, misbehaved etc and I just excused myself from the parents, picked her up without saying anything, took her to the chair and before walking out I reminded her that I had already talked to her about her behavior and what would happen if she acted out. Then I walked out. The first couple of days she did follow me out and I just picked her right up and set her back in. It wasn't a timeout per say, it was a place to sit unless she could behave. If she came into the play area and left the adults alone and me then she could play. It literally only took a few days to fix. The best advice I ever got.

My kitchen is totally safety proofed and that may not be the best place for you but any room that is away from her line f sight of you and the other parents but close enough for you to at least be able to hear her (so she doesn't do something bad) will work