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**Unregistered** · 06-21-2018, 02:19 PM

Where do you see that it is normal for a boy to not be potty trained at 43 months? Everywhere I have read says about 31 months is the average for boys. Every other boy in the class is potty trained, and they are all much younger than him, so I have a hard time believing that the average age to be potty trained is at almost 4 years old. Regardless, he is nowhere NEAR being potty trained at 43 months, which means he is still behind the curve regardless. I also worry that this child is actually not cognitively ahead at all. He gets words mixed up and can't remember things that have been told to him many times. I wouldn't categorize this child as "cognitively advanced" at all, which is what is so strange. The only thing that is advanced about this child is his ability to read, otherwise it actually takes him quite a while to catch on to things or show basic cognitive skills for his age.

Originally posted by Leigh View Post

Many kids who are "gifted" have asynchronous development.

3 years, 7 months isn't "too old" to not be potty trained. It is the AVERAGE age for boys to potty train. This child's brain is obviously more focused on learning to read and explore with his brain than it is with sending signals to his body that he needs to eliminate. So, for a kid who is NOT gifted, at this age, it is not uncommon to be using diapers. For a kid who IS gifted, it is even less uncommon.

A child's brain will often focus on one part of development at a time. A child who doesn't walk, but maybe talks a little will sometimes stop talking altogether when they are learning to walk because of the shift of focus. Once walking is achieved, the child's language skills will explode.

I would not push the potty training, but rather offer the potty frequently, encourage him to try, but don't push or bully the child-that makes it take even longer, and is exhausting for you and the child.

https://www.nagc.org/resources-publi...us-development

**Leigh** · 06-22-2018, 12:37 PM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

Where do you see that it is normal for a boy to not be potty trained at 43 months? Everywhere I have read says about 31 months is the average for boys. Every other boy in the class is potty trained, and they are all much younger than him, so I have a hard time believing that the average age to be potty trained is at almost 4 years old. Regardless, he is nowhere NEAR being potty trained at 43 months, which means he is still behind the curve regardless. I also worry that this child is actually not cognitively ahead at all. He gets words mixed up and can't remember things that have been told to him many times. I wouldn't categorize this child as "cognitively advanced" at all, which is what is so strange. The only thing that is advanced about this child is his ability to read, otherwise it actually takes him quite a while to catch on to things or show basic cognitive skills for his age.

Here are some articles about the topic (the first one, maybe the others, mentions that potty training and cognitive ability are not related):

Don't Potty Train Your Baby

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/steve-hodges-md/potty-training_b_1424826.html

Mastering the toilet has nothing to do with brainpower. Parents who wait until later to train their children aren't treating babies as "stupid"; they're wisely allowing their child's bladder to develop.

Toilet Training

https://www.aafp.org/afp/2008/1101/p1059.html

Toilet training is a developmental task that impacts families with small children. All healthy children are eventually toilet trained, and most complete the task without medical intervention. Most research on toilet training is descriptive, although some is evidence based. In the United States, the average age at which training begins has increased over the past four decades from earlier than 18 months of age to between 21 and 36 months of age. Newer studies suggest no benefit of intensive training before 27 months of age. Mastery of the developmental skills required for toilet training occurs after 24 months of age. Girls usually complete training earlier than boys. Numerous toilet-training methods are available. The Brazelton child-oriented approach uses physiologic maturity, ability to understand and respond to external feedback, and internal motivation to assess readiness. Dr. Spock's toilet-training approach is another popular method used by parents. The American Academy of Pediatrics incorporates components of the child-oriented approach into its guidelines for toilet training. "Toilet training in a day," a method by Azrin and Foxx, emphasizes operant conditioning and teaches specific toileting components. Because each family and child are unique, recommendations about the ideal time or optimal method must be customized. Family physicians should provide guidance about toilet-training methods and identify children who have difficulty reaching developmental milestones.

The Right Age to Potty Train

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/toilet-training/Pages/The-Right-Age-to-Toilet-Train.aspx

Child-development experts believe that toilet training works best for most families if it can be delayed until the child is ready to control much of the process herself. Here are a few developmental milestones a child must reach before they are ready to be toilet trained.

Potty Training Seven Surprising Facts, Andrea McCoy, MD

https://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/potty-training-seven-surprising-facts#1

Did you know the average potty training age is rising? Read about this and other surprising potty training facts from WebMD.

Potty training: How to get the job done

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/potty-training/art-20045230

Your guide to potty training basics, including when to start and what to do.

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