So Upset And Lost

[nikia]

So I had a thread about a family that had a higher lead level in the daughters blood and I was feeling a bit threatened by her like she was trying to find a way to make a quick buck. Well I have two other families that work with this mom and today they told me that their kids levels were elevated as well.

So I called the county lead program that sends the housing inspector to check for lead in homes to see if they will be coming here and to get some more information on lead. She asked me the names if the kids and then told me that she can't tell me the levels but she can tell me that THEY WERE NOT ELEVATED and there would be no reason for them to come to my house. I say ok and leave it at that. I then hear from some other people in the community that the moms are going around telling people that everyone who comes here has lead poisoning including my children

I'm so angry that they are spreading lies about me and lying about their childrens lead levels. Yet they still bring their children here. My question is I do not want these people in my home anymore. I love the kids but I feel this is a big issue for them to being lying about. How can I term without letting them know I know what they have done? I was told in confidence about the lies about everyone having lead poisoning in my home and do not want to break that. What should I do???

[marniewon]

I would term immediately due to outrageous lies. I would also throw around the words slander. I thought that you had mentioned in that other post that one of the dcp's told you about the elevated lead in their child? If so, you can tell them you know they are lying and not have to incriminate anyone.

I don't understand what they have to gain by doing this...?? If you had termed them, I could see them trying to ruin your business, but they are still there, right?

I'd get rid of them, and definitely let them know that you know what's going on. You could even just say you are terming them immediately due to unsavory behavior or something like that. They will know what you are talking about and if they have any conscience at all they will at least feel a little guilty.

[Bizzymom1111]

TERM IMMEDIATELY. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this : ( I would not want them in my home either. If you have something in your policy about you being able to term without notice, I would leave a letter on the door for them in the am, telling them it's effective immediately. I think they'll know why. Let us know what you decide. Some peoples parents!Good luck Hun!

[ninosqueridos]

WOW! Unbelievable! Yeah, your house is so dangerous that they continue bringing their children. Riiiight. Please term them right away and do NOT ALLOW THEM INTO YOUR HOME!! Who knows what else they can come up with?! And wait, they're all ganging up on you with this?! How is it that multiple parents can do this to one person? I mean, there may be one crazy in the bunch, but 3 families?! Yikes!! Sorry you're going through this - I know it will be really hard but once you have some level-headed people as dcps, you will never look back.

[kendallina]

Oh my gosh! I am so sorry you have to deal with this! Why on earth would they say that their children have elevated levels (DUE TO YOUR HOME!) when they don't even have elevated levels?? Oh my, I don't even know what to say about this!?

Do you think you're going to talk to the parents? I would probably invite them in for a meeting and tell them that you were concerned about the levels of lead in your home, so you called the health dept inspectors (or whoever it was) and they said that their children didn't have elevated levels. If they get defensive or mad, I would also freely mention that you have heard they are telling others that their children are getting lead poisoning from your home. They have to be caught in this lie!! It outrageous! I'm seriously so mad and I never get mad!

[nikia]

I don't know why they are doing this. I'm so angry. I want to confront them but really don't want to give any clues as to who the people are that told me if that makes sense. I just ahhhhhhh I don't understand why they are doing this. Its not like they can sue me since its all a lie and unfounded. I have everything logged into their files and I am just trying to decide whether to confront them and term immediately or find another reason to term there are other issues that I could term them for but it would have to be with a two week notice. I have even thought about just telling them I'm closed due to sickness until I figure this out. Sorry I keep rambling I'm just so angry and hurt.

[cillybean83]

tell them you want to see the reports that show elevated lead levels, and if they can't provide them THAT DAY, then they are terminated effective immediate for the well being if their children

[snowball]

I know you don't want to betray your source. But if they are going around telling people that the lead levels in your house are high, how would they know who told you?

I would term them ASAP, if they are going to spread lies about lead levels what will they spread next?

These people would not set foot in my house again, ever! They are a liability to you.

[marniewon]

TERM IMMEDIATELY. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this : ( I would not want them in my home either. If you have something in your policy about you being able to term without notice, I would leave a letter on the door for them in the am, telling them it's effective immediately. I think they'll know why. Let us know what you decide. Some peoples parents!Good luck Hun!

tell them you want to see the reports that show elevated lead levels, and if they can't provide them THAT DAY, then they are terminated effective immediate for the well being if their children

I like both of these. Whatever you do, don't let them get away with this! Either of these ideas will let them know that you will not tolerate this kind of behavior. The first one will make sure you don't have to look at their lying stupid faces.

Let us know how you handle it. Stay strong. We're all behind you!

[Abigail]

Even if you do terminate these families, the lies will NOT stop. They'll just say that now that their children are no longer in your care their levels are back to normal. It will just give you a bad wrap. You must really trust the person who told you about these lies, but maybe it was a misunderstanding?

I would do the mature thing and schedule a meeting and tell them you heard from a prospective client (this way they think it's someone new interested in your daycare, meaning the lies have gotten out even if they haven't yet). Make sure you're not angry because it's easy to explode and blame the parents. You might find that one parent might have no clue what you're even talking about.

You should also add to your contract effective March 1st, 2011 that you can terminate care at will without notice as the provider. This way, when you're completely done with the worst you can terminate. The meeting you hold separately with these families should be a warning to them that you're onto them. I wouldn't tell them it's a warning, just bring up your concern and ask if they've heard anything about it and tell each family that you are scheduling a meeting with every family just so it's not "limiting" to who you're bringing this topic up to.

[countrymom]

confront them, what are they going to do. If they term at least you will know whats going on, but if you just let them go then in the back of your mind its going to bug you.

[QualiTcare]

the whole thing seems weird. it would be weird enough if ONE mom was saying her child had elevated lead levels when it's not true, but three different moms are telling you this when it's not true? did all THREE moms tell you personally to your face that their kid's levels are high?

it just seems like something is missing, there's some hearsay, or you have a lot of creepy parents.

[dEHmom]

Sorry I did not read all the posts, but here is my suggestions....


1) have them submit to you, a doctors note or a document showing the so called elevated blood levels

2) do you have proof they are actually spreading the rumors or is it just the one mom? terming them because someone said they said something isn't a good way to go about it. You need to find the proof, that they are actually spreading the rumors.

3) I think that in this "economy" as everyone puts it, everyone is looking for a handout. Maybe it's possible one mom is planning to sue you, even though if it's a lie, she has no legal grounds to do so. If you term them, it will backfire on you. Especially if they have to nads to do this while you are still caring for the children.

Be very careful!!!!!!!

I agree the first, and possibly the other families as well, will need to be termed if the rumors are true. But people can make their own truth. And that's not good for your health or your business. Please remember to document, gather as much proof as you can, and discuss with the parents the course of action.

Personally, I believe my 1) above will get the truth out immediately. and they will feel like donkeys when they hand you a paper with normal levels on it.

Make sure you think it all through.

Besides, if they are spreading rumors, the other people will start to wonder why they continue to bring their children to you if it's so dangerous.

[dEHmom]

sorry another post....

I just thought, if you wanted to suspend them for investigations of the rumors I'm sure you could go that route.

If they are accusing you of having an unsafe environment, even though you know it is safe, they have some ulterior motive. So I would suggest having a discussion with the parents today or tomorrow, and stating, until the issue is resolved either by

1) coming clean,
2) dr.'s note/document showing lead levels,

then you cannot continue care.

[Live and Learn]

There have been several threads lately about dc moms leaving to start their own daycare and neighbors starting daycare and friends asking for help to set up a new dc.....

Nikia, I am just wondering if you think there is a chance that one of these parents is going to open their own dc soon and is trying to ruin your reputation to drum up business for themselves?

I don't know...this whole situation seems fishy. There has to be more to this story.

Ask for the paperwork proving the elevated levels....tell parents that you need it for your files. Tell them you need it immediately and don't let them one step in your house if they cannot provide you with it. Term the liars in your group.

Good Luck...what a hassles.