Advice on Bully Son Please!

[Crazy Baby]

My son, who will be 4 in 2 months has been getting so angry and bullying my other dcks. I just got a new 3 year old boy who he is hurting everyday. The first day the boy came, he wasn't even here 5 minutes and my son threw a toy firetruck at his head and his head was bleeding. The past few days the boy has gone home with a new scratch everyday. I am hoping that this behavior will pass, but I just don't know what to do. I've had to resort to putting my son in his bedroom to cry so that he will stop hurting the other kids.

[Blackcat31]

My son, who will be 4 in 2 months has been getting so angry and bullying my other dcks. I just got a new 3 year old boy who he is hurting everyday. The first day the boy came, he wasn't even here 5 minutes and my son threw a toy firetruck at his head and his head was bleeding. The past few days the boy has gone home with a new scratch everyday. I am hoping that this behavior will pass, but I just don't know what to do. I've had to resort to putting my son in his bedroom to cry so that he will stop hurting the other kids.

Are you able to talk calmly with him and maybe find out why he is acting like that?
I understand it's hard for kids of daycare providers to manage sometimes and I understand how a new kid might be threatening (not physically) for him but he is plenty old enough to understand not using physical aggression to deal with his anger/jealousy etc...

Honestly, I would separate him and not allow him to have access to the other kids until he is able to demonstrate better self control.

Sometimes our own kids cause us the most issues and sometimes we have to come down the hardest on our own.

It's definite a tough situation. :hug:

[hwichlaz]

Your number one priority is safety. He's your kid so the closest you can come to terminating care...is to keep him separate.

Tomato stake him. He's not allowed to be out of your arms reach for even a second when he's around the other kids. Any time you have to use the restroom he has to go to his room, or come with you....etc.

[Ariana]

Agree with the others and to be honest, he is learning too! I know it is hard to see the silver lining but the best part of home daycare for me as a mom is teaching my kids GOOD social behavior and I am in control of it.

Bad behavior has consequences with violent behavior being the worst so what is a good consequence that will work for him? Talk to him about it and come up with a solution

[knoxmomof2]

I would treat any child this way : if they can't be trusted around others, they are separated and/ or my shadow.

I had a 3.5 year old (she had been with me since 9 months old) suddenly bite her 4 year old friend one day! It was so odd that I assumed there was a misunderstanding about the whole thing. I talked with her about it, but moved on. Day 2, happens again. I gave her a firm talking to and let her know that any time I needed to step out of the room (bathroom, kitchen) , she would sit on the purple rug with a book because I couldn't trust her to be a good friend. This broke her heart because she is generally a very good helper and friend. It took a few days of this and I finally asked if I could trust her to be a good friend again while I went to prepare lunch. She was so enthusiastic about reassuring me! So, for the next week, I reminded her before leaving the room that any misbehavior would have her back on the rug. Problem solved!

I would base how long he's restricted on how much you trust him to change. If he tends to be a bit more stubborn, give it awhile. You can't risk more injuries to the other kids.

Obviously, you'll want to talk to him about why, but in the meantime you need to protect the other kids. Plus, sometimes they don't know why - the 3.5 year old didn't really have a "why" for her biting. We did realize that she was acting out with Mom and Dad as well, so we figured she was probably acting out because her Dad had recently bought a new house.