Potty Training Compromises

[Unregistered]

Hello! I'm hoping to get some ideas from care providers because I'm concerned with my daughter's potty training progress. She is 26 months old and has shown herself to be capable. We did the 'weekend' training with her and then reinforced/closely monitored after that and she responded very well (no accidents, telling me when she needed to go, etc.). She is in daycare 2-3 days/week. We love her provider and she has a great time there.

Very understandably, she has a policy that kids need to stay in diapers until they've 'proven' themselves to her. Well, I don't know if my daughter is being lazy, is confused, or is just getting used to also using the potty in a new environment, but after 2 days at school, she has totally relapsed back to where she was on day 1 of potty training (peeing whenever, wherever). I don't want to have to start over with her each week after her couple days there, but I also don't feel it's appropriate to ask provider about changing her diaper policy as it's for hygienic purposes and it's a small in home daycare. However, I think if my daughter is wearing diapers, she will pee in them. Has anyone had this problem and come up with some sort of alternative solution I can't see right now? I'm at a loss for what to do.

Thank you in advance for any help.

[Ariana]

In my experience putting a potty trained child in a pullup will not cause regression. I have trained a few kids using them and if a child is ready to use the bathroom they do not choose to go in their pullup.

My thoughts are that you are bringing her at certain intervals and she is relyng on that to stay dry. Your provider probably knows this. Potty trained kids do not need constant reminders and are able to stay dry on their own. The only time I remind kids to pee is before nap or if we go to the park.

[Blackcat31]

In my experience putting a potty trained child in a pullup will not cause regression. I have trained a few kids using them and if a child is ready to use the bathroom they do not choose to go in their pullup.

My thoughts are that you are bringing her at certain intervals and she is relyng on that to stay dry. Your provider probably knows this. Potty trained kids do not need constant reminders and are able to stay dry on their own. The only time I remind kids to pee is before nap or if we go to the park.

If you take a completely potty trained child and put them in diapers or Pull ups, they would not pee in them just because they are wearing them. A trained child does NOT want or like to be soiled or wet. NO MATTER what they are wearing.

I think your DD may be too young and not yet fully ready to be trained. A "ready" child will not take more than a few short days (which a parent can easily accommodate over a long weekend) to be trained.

[Indoorvoice]

If you take a completely potty trained child and put them in diapers or Pull ups, they would not pee in them just because they are wearing them. A trained child does NOT want or like to be soiled or wet. NO MATTER what they are wearing.

I think your DD may be too young and not yet fully ready to be trained. A "ready" child will not take more than a few short days (which a parent can easily accommodate over a long weekend) to be trained.

Agreed. Not quite ready.

[hottie8962]

I do think for some kids if they are wearing a diaper/pull up they will use it.i have one now who new trained about three weeks ago,takes his self ,no accidents or reminders,no diapers while sleeping at home they wonder why he isn't full potty trained like here they use pull up and he just pees in them .I tried them one day on him He wont pee in his under wear because he don't like the wet feeling.He is younger than yours I don't think early age matters if there ready.

[happymom]

I have a little bit of a different philosophy on this and am a parent as well and don't really agree with the "wait until they are ready" mantra. I think potty training is absolutely a learned process that doesn't happen overnight.

What you can do: work towards self initiation, EVERY TIME. Sometimes this can take 6+ weeks for a young potty trainer. It means she's still potty training and not potty trained and THAT'S OK. She WILL get it. Self initiation will come. Talk to your daycare provider, he/she may have a "2 weeks with no accidents at daycare" policy before switching to underpants. It won't ruin everything, I promise it will be okay. Just make sure you are consistent and she knows what to say in order to get help using the potty. My son tells his teacher "POTTY" and then teacher asks "pee or poop?". He is not speaking sentences yet, but that's how we do it at home so I asked daycare to do the same.

Being completely independent in the bathroom will come, but for now she might still need some help manipulating her clothing/washing her hands/etc. Continue working on all of these self help skills at home, having her dress herself as much as possible.

I also agree that your daycare provider can not give your daughter as much attention as you can at home and can not take in intervals or as often/needs reminders etc.

You can continue potty training in pull ups at daycare, if you wish. This is YOUR decision, not your daycare providers. Be respectful of their policy, all they are asking is that they do not have your child's urine all over their home. They get to choose is when she is allowed to wear underpants at daycare, but not whether they allow her to use the toilet when she asks. It should make no difference if she is in pull ups or a diaper.

A provider that forces a child to eliminate in a diaper/pull up when a child asks to use the toilet needs to be "fired" and you move to a new daycare.

*My son was completely self initiating at 20 months. We started potty training at 18 months. He is in daycare full time, also. He is still "potty training" in my eyes though, as he is not completely independent in the bathroom. He can't turn on the water unless he climbs on the counter (which I discourage) and still has a hard time getting his pants back up.

[Pestle]

I'm with Happymom--I don't have the kids keep eliminating in diapers until they've got the self-initiated potty break locked down; I take them to the potty at regular intervals. Kids can be taught to get out of their pants, sit on the toilet, wipe, and wash and dry their hands before they have the control and awareness to manage the elimination itself.

However, most care providers don't operate that way, so you'll have to find a system that works for you and for your care provider.

[Ariana]

I agree to keep doing these things at home. I don't know too many daycare providers who will not take a child to the potty and teach them self help skills like pulling pants up and down and washing hands. I have an 18 month old who asks to go the potty for fun and I oblige when I can. She gets lots of practice but she is not "ready" for full on undies and cannot control her bowels and bladder (which is a physical milestone not a psychological one). When she reaches the physical milestone it will take 2-3 days maximum for her to be fully trained with no accidents.

The ability to HOLD determines when potty learning happens.

[laundrymom]

I've only been helping children potty learn since 1987 so might not have as much experience as some but might have more than others so here's my opinion.
It's awesome that she has learned at home so young. Great job momma and child!!!
Daycare will take more time because of distractions, time constraints, missed cues, etc etc etc.
Believe me, providers want them to learn. Lol. Have you ever had to stay on top of diapers for 7-10 children alone? We celebrate every single pee or poo in the potty. I promise.
As for the diaper policy, wear undies under the diaper. If she stays dry, fantastic. If not, no mess. She will feel the cloth so that should work for her.
Please remember, peeing in the potty at home and being potty learned in childcare are not the same thing. She needs to feel her body cues in enough time and with enough warning to get to the potty. Get her clothes off. Potty. Then wipe and redress herself. Plus washing her hands without getting contaminated hands on every bathroom surface before she's considered potty learned.
It's so hard in an active group environment.
Help your provider by making sure she can dress, undress, wipe, (both pee and poo) and wash up independently. That will give her confidence to do it at childcare.
Also, please don't get miffed at pee pants. At her or the provider. It's never intentional. I assure you.
It's hard to learn to potty.
And she's still so young.
Have a great weekend!!

[happymom]

Also, please don't get miffed at pee pants. At her or the provider. It's never intentional. I assure you.
It's hard to learn to potty.

This x10! Everyone is doing their very best, yourself, your child and your child care provider. Even if you are disappointed and your child has an "off" day - tell your provider thank you for working with you on potty training your girl and continue to be optimistic in everyone! :hug:

[Unregistered]

Thank you all very much for your advice and support, it is super helpful!

[Unregistered]

..

I would recommend the Gerber Terry lined training pants with built in water proof they are extra thick underwear can help with the mess but still feel the wet

[Tigerlilly]

It takes a long time to fully potty train a child and regression is to be expected. I would say it takes close to a year from start to fully and reliably trained. That means no reminders and no accidents unless it was very unavoidable. An example of unavoidable would be what happened to my son last week. The bathroom door got stuck and he could not get in and he had an accident. Poor guy was really upset.
But playing and forgetting to go potty means they are still learning.

It just takes time before using the potty to become second nature to little ones.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Hello! I'm hoping to get some ideas from care providers because I'm concerned with my daughter's potty training progress. She is 26 months old and has shown herself to be capable. We did the 'weekend' training with her and then reinforced/closely monitored after that and she responded very well (no accidents, telling me when she needed to go, etc.). She is in daycare 2-3 days/week. We love her provider and she has a great time there.

Very understandably, she has a policy that kids need to stay in diapers until they've 'proven' themselves to her. Well, I don't know if my daughter is being lazy, is confused, or is just getting used to also using the potty in a new environment, but after 2 days at school, she has totally relapsed back to where she was on day 1 of potty training (peeing whenever, wherever). I don't want to have to start over with her each week after her couple days there, but I also don't feel it's appropriate to ask provider about changing her diaper policy as it's for hygienic purposes and it's a small in home daycare. However, I think if my daughter is wearing diapers, she will pee in them. Has anyone had this problem and come up with some sort of alternative solution I can't see right now? I'm at a loss for what to do.

Thank you in advance for any help.

I would do pull ups or diapers at daycare until she gets better at it at daycare. For my littles who have shown an interest in pottying in the toilet, they get to try at transitions when we change diapers/bathroom break. If they have messed their pull up, its no big deal and we just chamge it and move on. NO PRESSURE! Ime, a child who is ready will toilet train in a day or two with very little accidents or regression, unless a significant trauma/change occurs. It is not a month/year long process, and the besg thing to do is just let your little one tell you what they need, and she is telling you she is not fully ready yet, so give her some space and shd will figure it out.

[Ariana]

It takes a long time to fully potty train a child and regression is to be expected. I would say it takes close to a year from start to fully and reliably trained. That means no reminders and no accidents unless it was very unavoidable. An example of unavoidable would be what happened to my son last week. The bathroom door got stuck and he could not get in and he had an accident. Poor guy was really upset.
But playing and forgetting to go potty means they are still learning.

It just takes time before using the potty to become second nature to little ones.

COMPLETELY DISAGREE. Not sure how many kids you have potty trained but if this has been your experience then you are training them way too early.