New Sibling Set Ruined My Baby Gate And Curtain Rod Today

[trix23]

Siblings 3y 2y boys ruined my baby gate (plastic, 3 panel kind) and my tension-mounted curtain rod today. One purposefully ran into the gate several times and the other one intentionally pulled on the curtains and the rod came down 3x in the last 2 days. (I currently work weekends).

The baby gate is $120 new and a curtain rod is like $20-$40. Would you have her pay some or all? I truly consider this more than normal wear and tear.....

[Pestle]

I'd get in touch with the parents immediately and let them know, in a calm and non-accusatory way, that their kids irreparably damaged your baby gate and curtain rod, and that it will cost X to replace them.

I'd expect to lose the family over it, but I'd rather have them gone. So you'll have to assess whether you can afford to lose the income. . . and whether you can afford to keep them if this behavior continues.

I would also have removed the curtain rod the first time it was pulled down. I don't have curtains hanging low where toddlers can reach them. The gate is a bigger deal; I have to ensure the safety of the kids in my care, so if the kids are determined to leave the day care area, I can't do my job.

• Are they brand-new to your program? Was this their first time at your place?
  
• What were the consequences of tearing up your stuff, and how did they respond to those consequences?
  
• Were they likewise abusing other objects, like toys or dishes or furniture?

I'd ask myself all those questions so I'd know whether I was even willing to let these kids stay, and so I'd be prepared for this in the future. After having had an experience like yours--a 20mo who destroyed several toys, deliberately, over just a few minutes--I added this to my contract:

Regular wear-and-tear to toys, furniture, materials, and the house itself is expected and you will not be charged. If your child willfully damages property at the day care, you
may be charged to repair/replace the damaged item.

[midaycare]

I had siblings for a day that were very destructive. I did not invite them back for day #2. I did not ask parents to pay for damage, and it was about $500. They had ridiculous behavior.

I did not trust my instinct on that one.

[LysesKids]

I'd get in touch with the parents immediately and let them know, in a calm and non-accusatory way, that their kids irreparably damaged your baby gate and curtain rod, and that it will cost X to replace them.

I'd expect to lose the family over it, but I'd rather have them gone. So you'll have to assess whether you can afford to lose the income. . . and whether you can afford to keep them if this behavior continues.

I would also have removed the curtain rod the first time it was pulled down. I don't have curtains hanging low where toddlers can reach them. The gate is a bigger deal; I have to ensure the safety of the kids in my care, so if the kids are determined to leave the day care area, I can't do my job.

• Are they brand-new to your program? Was this their first time at your place?
  
• What were the consequences of tearing up your stuff, and how did they respond to those consequences?
  
• Were they likewise abusing other objects, like toys or dishes or furniture?

I'd ask myself all those questions so I'd know whether I was even willing to let these kids stay, and so I'd be prepared for this in the future. After having had an experience like yours--a 20mo who destroyed several toys, deliberately, over just a few minutes--I added this to my contract:

Regular wear-and-tear to toys, furniture, materials, and the house itself is expected and you will not be charged. If your child willfully damages property at the day care, you
may be charged to repair/replace the damaged item.

I do infants & younger toddlers only; that said, I do have a policy in place that states parents will be required to pay for purposely damaged toys, personal items or any property damage done whether it is my own or another families if done by an older sibling or family member of an infant in care (under 18 months usually don't destroy things). I only had to charge one family & then I terminated care when they refused to pay (that was in 2004 and it was for a floor mattress that a preschooler decided to pee on for spite because mom was talking to me about the little)

[Blackcat31]

I would never ask a parent to pay for something that happened on your watch.

Maybe in a very rare circumstance but certainly not for child(ren) in the 2-3 yr age range.

[hwichlaz]

I would never ask a parent to pay for something that happened on your watch.

Maybe in a very rare circumstance but certainly not for child(ren) in the 2-3 yr age range.

I agree with this.

It's my responsibility to stop those behaviors. If I can't manage to get a child to stop doing destructive things...then their parent needs to come and get them. Curtains should not be within reach of children that will pull on them...and after the first ram into the baby gate I would have put a stop to it. If I was unable, they'd have needed to be picked up.

[finsup]

I agree with this.

It's my responsibility to stop those behaviors. If I can't manage to get a child to stop doing destructive things...then their parent needs to come and get them. Curtains should not be within reach of children that will pull on them...and after the first ram into the baby gate I would have put a stop to it. If I was unable, they'd have needed to be picked up.

Yup. I agree. I had a child who smashed a window with a plastic hammer once. He was 2. Thankfully no one was hurt but I did tell dcm what happened (kinda had to tell all families as to why my living room window was shattered ). I did not say she had to pay, she felt awful and insisted on paying anyways . We settled on spilting it only because she really wanted to help cover the cost. But bottom line was it happened on my watch, it was my responsibility.

[Mummy101]

Siblings 3y 2y boys ruined my baby gate (plastic, 3 panel kind) and my tension-mounted curtain rod today. One purposefully ran into the gate several times and the other one intentionally pulled on the curtains and the rod came down 3x in the last 2 days. (I currently work weekends).

The baby gate is $120 new and a curtain rod is like $20-$40. Would you have her pay some or all? I truly consider this more than normal wear and tear.....

Oh yes, I would bill them for the items, at least some of the cost. When it effects the wallet, parents usually become motivated to get a handle on behavior issues. Supervision has nothing to do with it, I have had this kind of behavior happen right in front of me. In my experience, the kiddos usually start to mind the house rules once you enforce them and provide consequences. Inconsistency at home can sometimes hinder this and sometimes it is just plain personality. If they do not eventually adapt, and some never do, it is most likely not a good fit and probably never will be. The question is, are you willing to continually manage behavior such as this? Some providers will work with this behavior and some are not willing, it is really all personal preference.

[Josiegirl]

I had siblings for a day that were very destructive. I did not invite them back for day #2. I did not ask parents to pay for damage, and it was about $500. They had ridiculous behavior.

I did not trust my instinct on that one.

Wow!! What was destroyed for $500?? Eeks, 1 day and that happens? I've had kids make holes in walls, break safety gates, break toys galore, ripped a door of my TV cabinet, and even a CD player. I've never requested payment from a parent but did let them know what happened.
Very disheartening, very very disheartening to say the least.

[midaycare]

Wow!! What was destroyed for $500?? Eeks, 1 day and that happens? I've had kids make holes in walls, break safety gates, break toys galore, ripped a door of my TV cabinet, and even a CD player. I've never requested payment from a parent but did let them know what happened.
Very disheartening, very very disheartening to say the least.

Dck took a train and smashed it through the wall. The walls weren't reinforced - just drywall - but it took some serious effort. I had to get the wall redrywalled. Took him about 2 seconds to do this. Then he took the same train, pleased by his first results, and made a huge nick in our log staircase rail. I've been open 3 years since then and never had a dck do that much damage. And I currently have a verrrrrry difficult dcb.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Oh yes, I would bill them for the items, at least some of the cost. When it effects the wallet, parents usually become motivated to get a handle on behavior issues. Supervision has nothing to do with it, I have had this kind of behavior happen right in front of me. In my experience, the kiddos usually start to mind the house rules once you enforce them and provide consequences. Inconsistency at home can sometimes hinder this and sometimes it is just plain personality. If they do not eventually adapt, and some never do, it is most likely not a good fit and probably never will be. The question is, are you willing to continually manage behavior such as this? Some providers will work with this behavior and some are not willing, it is really all personal preference.

This is how I feel about it.

[LK5kids]

I would never ask a parent to pay for something that happened on your watch.

Maybe in a very rare circumstance but certainly not for child(ren) in the 2-3 yr age range.

My thoughts too!

[Baby Beluga]

I had a child (known for being disruptive during pick up/drop off) slam my new security door into the stucco making a hole. DCD offered to find someone to repair it/pay for the damage but I declined, fixed it myself and wrote off the supplies.

Curious, how did the parents react when you told them of the damage?

[trix23]

I haven't mentioned it yet because I wanted to have a plan about if I was going to charge or not.

And to say that you wouldn't let it happen: well of course i wouldn't either! I was coming back from changing a baby's diaper when the older one ran into the gate twice as I was coming back into the room.

As for the curtains, these kids are old enough to know better ! I would expect that from a toddler, not a 2y or 3y. I'm redesigning my room to have stuff in front of the curtains when I get a new rod- there are French doors there going outside.

I need the $ right now but I also can't be having kids that are destroying my home. They are new and have been here a total of 6 days so far- now just doing Sat & Sun. (I know... slow times to be working weekends but I need it- charging $200 for both ~12hr days).

[trix23]

Their behavior is insane and if it improves with my methods, then I'll keep them (I'll try for 1-2 months before giving in unless I just can't).