Children That Bite

[Unregistered]

I have not opened yet so this is not a current issue but I have a parent already intetested in my service. The downside is that I know this child bites. She has bit her mother and her brother a few times. So my question is, should I just pass on this child or give her a chance? How many chances would you give a child that bit another child in your care?

[knoxmomof2]

How old is the child?

[Unregistered]

She is 4.

[daycarediva]

14 months? Maybe if I could provide a 1:1 supervision level in group care settings and/or had the space and ability to set up so the child was never left alone with other kids.

4!?!?! Not a shot.

[knoxmomof2]

At 4 and a brand new DCK? I would be wary. It's something that your current DCPs will not deal with very well, first of all.

I had 1 3.5 year old biter that started suddenly about 6 months ago. She's been with me since 9 months old. For the rest of the week, I made her stop what she was doing and sit on a rug with a book anytime I had to be out of the room. I watched her closely otherwise.

She hated being treated like a little one, basically, and losing her freedom. By the following Monday, she was past ready to be a "big girl" again.

I don't know how you would do that with a new one and so old. She could do some damage!

[e.j.]

Personally, I think I would take a pass on a 4 year biter. As far as how many chances I would give a child already in my care, for me it would depend on the age of the child and if there were any other issues involved. I'd be more tolerant and more apt to work with a 1 1/2 year old than a 4 year old.
I'd be more patient with a child who only bites vs. a child who bites, hits, screams, throw toys, cries all day, etc.

[Pestle]

If we're talking one or two bites in recent memory, I might consider it, but a 4yo who regularly pulls "bite" out of her problem-solving toolkit isn't one I'd want to introduce into my program.

Also, frequent biting at that age often goes hand-in-hand with other behavioral issues. A center or preschool, with assistants who can take her out of the space for one-on-one cooling off, and can also offer therapy if she has other needs, is probably more appropriate than a family day care. We have a friend whose kid stopped biting at 5, once they found ADHD medication that helped level him out and also got him on a frequent-meal schedule to keep his blood sugar and protein intake steady.

Oh, and the fact that he knocked out all his top front teeth. That helped, too! ::

[Ariana]

My own 4 year old hits sometimes when she is angry. She ONLY hits her sister and only when completely cornered (trust me her sister deserves it ). We discipline her out the wazoo but it still happens sometimes.

She has never even come close to doing this with any of the daycare kids or any of the kids in her preschool. It might be possibke this is purely situational (a learned behavior in a specific environment) so I would ask more questions and maybe do a trial run with her.

I also have two kids who were regular hitters (3.5 yr old) and pinchers (19 months old) and I nipped both in the bud with punishments for the behavior and getting parents on board with more consistant punishment.

[Unregistered]

Owner of May's Chinese Preschool

I am the owner of a daycare

From my experiences, the biters are mostly older infants and toddlers who can walk, but cannot talk well. They get into other children's business easier than before and have conflicts with other children more than before. But, their language skills are not good enough to express themselves and to solve the problems. Therefore, they like to use this extreme method (biting) to get what they want.

Biting is very difficult to get rid of. But, with teacher's patience and help, this problem can get under control.

When a child bites, first thing we do is separating the biter and the victim immediately, so the biter cannot do further harm. Then, one of our teachers will stay with the biter for a while, telling him/her that biting is a bad/inappropriate thing to do and can cause the victim great pain and also cause the biter a good friendship. We also do the report on this for the parents and work with them for fast and better results.

When we are handing this issue, we always use the simplest words and combine both verbal and body languages together for better expression, since the biter is still very young. By doing so, we can help the biter for better understanding and remembering the message we try to convey. And later, our reaction, the simple words and the biting behavior will have a firm connection in the biter's brain and help them quit biting.

This problem can stay with them on and off for a long time. But, once they grow older and have better language/problem solving skills, they will quit eventually. As a provider, we have to be patient with them.

[Pestle]

From my experiences, the biters are mostly older infants and toddlers who can walk, but cannot talk well.

Older children like this one are biting for different reasons, and it's often a bigger challenge to get them to stop.

[LysesKids]

Older children like this one are biting for different reasons, and it's often a bigger challenge to get them to stop.

Agreed... I would not want to take this child on just because it would mean taking away more from the others in care. I can curb biting in infants & young toddlers fairly quickly, but by Pre-K, totally different story, especially if they do it regularly

[Blackcat31]

4 YEARS old?!?!

Um, nope.

[LVG]

Noooooo, don't do it! I took on a kid in February that was a behavior issue at their last daycare (not a biter though). I thought to myself "oh he'll be fine...its a smaller environment...I have the training (former special ed teacher)...he will do great I thought) NOPE! He is a world from where he was, but not without A LOT of stress and work on my part! 4 and biting...there are more issues! Stay away! Stay far far away!! She needs a place with multiple adults on staff!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

No way. Not a chance.

[Josiegirl]

Biting is one of the worst behaviors to deal with. Difficult enough to stop when they're younger but at 4 yo they should be through that stage already, IMO. However, I had a dcb, he came to me as a 3 mo, with his older sister. They were a wonderful family, through and through. They worked with me, knew their ds was difficult. He continued to be a challenge right up until he started K. He was a physical kid, and biting was one way. Showed his emotions in good ways and bad. I loved him dearly and every time he'd see me out in public, he'd run and give me huge hugs. I miss that family.
All this to say I think if it were me, I'd do a trial run of a biter, to get a clearer view of family dynamics, etc.