Boys Will Be Boys

[TwinMama]

Ok...so I have a mom that thinks that boys will be boys, and that they can wrestle and act like crazy people.

I took away some toy trucks because her son just can't calm down. He's five. I tried to get him to fill the trucks with blocks and build stuff, but instead he wants to run through my house and slide on his knees. She told her son that I don't understand that some day my little almost 3 year old boy will act that way too.

She literally said, "Boys like to beat the crap out of each other, but girls aren't like that."

When he's not here the other kids don't act that way and they're able to play nice. Am I completely out of line to think that any kid shouldn't be running and screaming while sliding on their knees in my house?

[Blackcat31]

Ok...so I have a mom that thinks that boys will be boys, and that they can wrestle and act like crazy people.

I took away some toy trucks because her son just can't calm down. He's five. I tried to get him to fill the trucks with blocks and build stuff, but instead he wants to run through my house and slide on his knees. She told her son that I don't understand that some day my little almost 3 year old boy will act that way too.

She literally said, "Boys like to beat the crap out of each other, but girls aren't like that."

When he's not here the other kids don't act that way and they're able to play nice. Am I completely out of line to think that any kid shouldn't be running and screaming while sliding on their knees in my house?

He can be a boy on HER watch.

I'd tell her exactly that.

If he harms another child (accidentally or on purpose) it isn't just a "boy thing", it becomes a liability issue and depending on who's watch it is....it could become a legal issue....so whatever she thinks it is boys are suppose to do or like to do is something she can decide when SHE is the one taking responsibility but when its your time, your butt and your livelihood on the line, I would expect that he follow your rules and behave without touching anyone else and without rough housing... If he can't do that, then I'd term him.

I refuse to take kids that put my business at risk; especially those kids that have parents that "support" that kind of behavior.

[Cat Herder]

"She told her son that I don't understand that some day my little almost 3 year old boy will act that way too."

I'd serve mom a big No and send her on her way.

Clearly, she is going to be a problem.

Public school will eat her alive.

[TwinMama]

He can be a boy on HER watch.

I'd tell her exactly that.

If he harms another child (accidentally or on purpose) it isn't just a "boy thing", it becomes a liability issue and depending on who's watch it is....it could become a legal issue....so whatever she thinks it is boys are suppose to do or like to do is something she can decide when SHE is the one taking responsibility but when its your time, your butt and your livelihood on the line, I would expect that he follow your rules and behave without touching anyone else and without rough housing... If he can't do that, then I'd term him.

I refuse to take kids that put my business at risk; especially those kids that have parents that "support" that kind of behavior.

Thank you!!! Yeh, he was being too wild acting like a crazy person and he accidentally kicked another girl in the face.

I told him that this is why I ask him to calm down, because he needs to respect the people around him.

[TwinMama]

"She told her son that I don't understand that some day my little almost 3 year old boy will act that way too."

I'd serve mom a big No and send her on her way.

Clearly, she is going to be a problem.

Public school will eat her alive.

Thank you!!! Yeh...he already gets in trouble at school and on the bus for personal space issues.

[Second Home]

That is just an excuse for not having to set rules for her child . I have a son ( who is now 13) , yes he sometimes got wild as did my daughter but they learned the time and place to be wild and when not to . They knew early on that if they were told to stop being crazy they needed to stop , no exceptions .

[Blackcat31]

Interesting article:

https://www.littlethings.com/we-must-saying-boys-will-be-boys/

In response to her telling her child that your son will eventually act that way too:

[TwinMama]

Interesting article:

https://www.littlethings.com/we-must-saying-boys-will-be-boys/

In response to her telling her child that your son will eventually act that way too:

Love, love, love this!!!!!

[Cat Herder]

I like that poster, too. I love the one that edits it to "kids will be kids/adult". lovethis

IMHO, The recent push to make girls more aggressive is backfiring into the same dynamic as the old "boys will be boys" era. Both are exclusionary, projecting and unnecessary to child development.

[dreamer]

The phrase "boys will be boys" makes my blood boil. It's an excuse not to teach boys proper manners, and this kind of thinking is what allows boys to grow up thinking its all fine and dandy to be violent or reckless.

[laundrymom]

"I'm not raising boys or girls, I'm raising humans who need to learn control and acceptable behavior. It's not alright to be destructive at childcare. The fact of having a penis or vagina has no bearing on behavior. "

[DaveA]

"You can raise him to be however you want at your house. Here he will do XYZ. That's includes playing in such a matter as to not be safety hazard or disruption to everyone else. If he can't handle that because of what you allow elsewhere you need to find alternate care."

DCPs are going to cause me to go blind from eye rolling.

[hwichlaz]

Maybe he'll be on the Stanford Swim Team.

[kendallina]

Ok...so I have a mom that thinks that boys will be boys, and that they can wrestle and act like crazy people.

I took away some toy trucks because her son just can't calm down. He's five. I tried to get him to fill the trucks with blocks and build stuff, but instead he wants to run through my house and slide on his knees. She told her son that I don't understand that some day my little almost 3 year old boy will act that way too.

She literally said, "Boys like to beat the crap out of each other, but girls aren't like that."

When he's not here the other kids don't act that way and they're able to play nice. Am I completely out of line to think that any kid shouldn't be running and screaming while sliding on their knees in my house?

I frequently tell my kiddos that wrestling/etc is play that is best for at home, I don't allow it here. Absolutely, there are some kids that just need and want to be more physical. I have had instances where I can allow a little more of it, but generally speaking, we can't do it here. If he can't play with the truck is a more constructive way then he's welcome to find something else to play.

ETA: when I have a child/children in my group that need more physicalness, I try to make sure we get lots and lots of outside time and our circle time is often more active than I would normally do. I've also found that kids like this often enjoy sensory and messy activities and if I provide those, it cuts down on some of the craziness.

[Josiegirl]

I like that poster, too. I love the one that edits it to "kids will be kids/adult". lovethis

IMHO, The recent push to make girls more aggressive is backfiring into the same dynamic as the old "boys will be boys" era. Both are exclusionary, projecting and unnecessary to child development.

I completely agree. I have 2 girls that are like this. Driving trucks around and crashing everywhere. I also have 2 other girls that steal toys, then run away like he!! and if caught by the other, there is hair-pulling and screaming. I have a 4 yo dcg who hasn't been here for the past 3 weeks(dad's laid off) and she is the sweetest kindest little lady. All these others are becoming brutes and has tired me right out. :confused: