How Do I Word This Nicely?

[lovemydaycare0912]

I have an opening for 2 weeks because my dcb who comes only for 2 months in the winters last day was yesterday and my new infant doesn't start until Feb 20th. I discounted those 2 weeks to try to gain some interest in filling it and did.

At interview dcb 2.5 (will be 3 in May) didn't speak too much so I could tell he had some type of speech/language delay. He's never been in daycare before because dcm's aunt watches him. Dcm and dcd would redirect him and make sure he was listening to them. He did seem like he didn't want to listen at times but they didn't let him do whatever he wants.

They signed up and paid money for 1st week. Doctor faxes over health record and long and behold I see might be on autism spectrum, birth to 3, speech and language delay, etc. Normally if I was enrolling, I would have termed because they left out valuable information not because he may be autistic. Since it's only 2 weeks, I want to try and see how it goes.

First, I want to let dcm and dcd know I saw the notes on the health record and ask anything special they do at home for him to help him.
And also, if things don't work out, I may not want to do a 2nd week. DH does daycare with me and doesn't understand. He said it's only 2 weeks and extra money deal with it. But I don't want to be miserable for 2 weeks.

Sorry this turned out long, so if you're still reading thank you.

[racemom]

Dear dcd and dcm: after I enrolled dcb, I have received his health records. I see it states he has speech and language delays which may place him on the autism spectrum. I feel this info is VERY important for me to be aware of. Because of the lack of communication, I am willing to try dcb for the as planned, but am reserving the right to terminate at anytime. If any other important information has been withheld, I will term immediately.

[childcaremom]

Dear dcd and dcm: after I enrolled dcb, I have received his health records. I see it states he has speech and language delays which may place him on the autism spectrum. I feel this info is VERY important for me to be aware of. Because of the lack of communication, I am willing to try dcb for the as planned, but am reserving the right to terminate at anytime. If any other important information has been withheld, I will term immediately.

I like this. I would also include something about fees, re your policy if you term immediately or without notice. Do you refund any unused tuition fees, etc.

[lovemydaycare0912]

I like this. I would also include something about fees, re your policy if you term immediately or without notice. Do you refund any unused tuition fees, etc.

Since it is just for 2 weeks there wasn't any real talk about terminating services because I don't really care if they don't come back. I did however include that if their child doesn't come for any days they don't get any refunds. I'd have no problem refunding for any days unused if the child was too much for me.

[Blackcat31]

I think any time you are doing short term care there will be issues.

Two weeks is hardly enough time to get to know him (and him you) let alone enough time to integrate him into your routine.

IMHO, if you are wanting/needing/willing to do drop-in or short term care you more or less have to make due and more than anything be open to being a little more unstructured.

Most providers that don't offer drop in care don't because it is miserable or chaotic and sometime very difficult.

If you do it for the extra money I think that should be your goal then. Unless the child is a physical danger to himself or others I think expecting the experience to not be stressful is unrealistic.

[lovemydaycare0912]

Dear dcd and dcm: after I enrolled dcb, I have received his health records. I see it states he has speech and language delays which may place him on the autism spectrum. I feel this info is VERY important for me to be aware of. Because of the lack of communication, I am willing to try dcb for the as planned, but am reserving the right to terminate at anytime. If any other important information has been withheld, I will term immediately.

Thank you. I like this. I'm going to try this Monday.

[lovemydaycare0912]

I think any time you are doing short term care there will be issues.

Two weeks is hardly enough time to get to know him (and him you) let alone enough time to integrate him into your routine.

IMHO, if you are wanting/needing/willing to do drop-in or short term care you more or less have to make due and more than anything be open to being a little more unstructured.

Most providers that don't offer drop in care don't because it is miserable or chaotic and sometime very difficult.

If you do it for the extra money I think that should be your goal then. Unless the child is a physical danger to himself or others I think expecting the experience to not be stressful is unrealistic.

That's a good way to look at it. I do have a drop in dcg who is a breeze. I have her once a week every so often and she fits right in. I guess sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. I'm just upset of not being told about this in advance because I feel they may be hiding more. They actually wanted a part time spot but I have no slot available at this time.

[Blackcat31]

That's a good way to look at it. I do have a drop in dcg who is a breeze. I have her once a week every so often and she fits right in. I guess sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. I'm just upset of not being told about this in advance because I feel they may be hiding more. They actually wanted a part time spot but I have no slot available at this time.

When my son was 2.5 he too was "possibly" on the spectrum.
Mostly too young to really say/diagnose due to extremely mild signs and symptoms.

As a parent its not something I would have mentioned to others for several reasons... he was not officially diagnosed so no reason to label him, his symptoms and behaviors were subtle enough that unless you knew him you wouldnt see it and they were mild enough that he would never have been a physical danger to himself or others and had I needed short term care, there wouldnt really be any reason to bring it up to someone who wasn't going to have a long term relationship with him.

I think this situation would be a bit different if he were going to be permanently enrolled but its two weeks. The only thing I'd need to know is if he is physically agressive or if he had allergies.

Otherwise I guess I don't see why "possibly on the spectrum" is anything to worry about or how knowing or not knowing that information would impact 2 weeks of care. ?

[lovemydaycare0912]

When my son was 2.5 he too was "possibly" on the spectrum.
Mostly too young to really say/diagnose due to extremely mild signs and symptoms.

As a parent its not something I would have mentioned to others for several reasons... he was not officially diagnosed so no reason to label him, his symptoms and behaviors were subtle enough that unless you knew him you wouldnt see it and they were mild enough that he would never have been a physical danger to himself or others and had I needed short term care, there wouldnt really be any reason to bring it up to someone who wasn't going to have a long term relationship with him.

I think this situation would be a bit different if he were going to be permanently enrolled but its two weeks. The only thing I'd need to know is if he is physically agressive or if he had allergies.

Otherwise I guess I don't see why "possibly on the spectrum" is anything to worry about or how knowing or not knowing that information would impact 2 weeks of care. ?

If a spot opens up they do want it. If I'm able to extend the amount of time, they definitely want to keep him longer. Their intentions are that a spot opens up and am able to keep him. This was also done in may of last year so he could have very well been diagnosed afterwards.

Well just agree to disagree then. I think all information is important because there may be other things that may trigger him, or ways I may be able to calm him down that could very well help me help him while he is in care. I understand your side, but I don't necessarily agree with it.

[Blackcat31]

I have an opening for 2 weeks

if things don't work out, I may not want to do a 2nd week.

But I don't want to be miserable for 2 weeks.

I agree with your DH

....because the above is what I read and view as the issue.

I think any time you are offering short term care you have to realize its for the money and act accordingly.

You are under no obligation to fulfill the whole two weeks if you're miserable. Only you can decide if the money is worth it.

I think you are making a bigger deal out of this than necessary. Short term care is more or less babysitting in my eyes.

[Blackcat31]

If a spot opens up they do want it. If I'm able to extend the amount of time, they definitely want to keep him longer. Their intentions are that a spot opens up and am able to keep him. This was also done in may of last year so he could have very well been diagnosed afterwards.

Well just agree to disagree then. I think all information is important because there may be other things that may trigger him, or ways I may be able to calm him down that could very well help me help him while he is in care. I understand your side, but I don't necessarily agree with it.

You didnt say any of this in original post.

[lovemydaycare0912]

You didnt say any of this in original post.

I was trying to keep it short and didn't think it made much a difference. Now I see that without knowing they are hoping a spot opens up, I can see where you feel it doesn't matter because it's just 2 weeks.

[e.j.]

If a spot opens up they do want it. If I'm able to extend the amount of time, they definitely want to keep him longer. Their intentions are that a spot opens up and am able to keep him. This was also done in may of last year so he could have very well been diagnosed afterwards.

Well just agree to disagree then. I think all information is important because there may be other things that may trigger him, or ways I may be able to calm him down that could very well help me help him while he is in care. I understand your side, but I don't necessarily agree with it.

Based on my own experience as the mother of a child with Asperger's, I agree with what Black Cat said. It would have been best if the parents had thought to tell you about his potential diagnosis but since they didn't, take the time now to ask the questions you need to know regarding behavior, possible triggers, allergies, etc.

I would see the 2 week time frame as a positive thing. If the intent of the parents is to possibly work him into a more permanent spot with you should an opening come up, you will have those 2 weeks to assess whether he's a good fit for your day care or not. If his behavior is too difficult to deal with, you know for sure not to enter into a more permanent agreement. If it turns out he's a good fit, you'll be able to fill a future opening without having to interview and hope the right family comes along.

[Blackcat31]

and didn't think it made much a difference.

Irony...

[Unregistered]

Just like with any child, ask the parents about his likes/dislikes, how he deals with transitions, and any tips they have for guiding him through out the day. Kids with autism (if that is indeed his diagnosis) are all different, so there is no way of knowing how he will adjust to care with you. I wouldn't automically assume you are going to be miserable.