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Kids That Don't Listen
I have 2 kids that won't listen to anything I say. Kids are 3.5 yo dcg (in pullups even though she has no clue about potty training) and 5 yo dcb, siblings. Both are socially and developmentally delayed. They are here 3 days a week (I am open 7 days a week) for 13.5+ hours. Neither one listens to directions. The girl will only do something when you YELL at her to do it. She understands, but speaks in gibberish that only mom and dcb can understand. You must repeat the same instructions for the same infractions 10-15 times each day. The boy is very loud, loves violent play, and torments my dog to the point that she hides in corners and under my desk. I got advice to put them in time out, but in order for that to work, I would have to be standing there, physically holding them in the chair for the duration of the time out. Any other suggestions for behavior modification, since I can't afford to terminate?
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You don't want to hear it, but you can't afford to NOT terminate.
Find another way.- Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.
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This.Originally posted by Cat Herder View Post
Last year I had two brothers who were somewhat like this. Oldest was 3.5 and I could hardly understand a word he said. Younger brother was following suit. They never engaged with the other kids, but were constantly wrestling with each other. I actually had an interview on a day when they happened to be the only kids here and honestly they turned off the potential client because they didn't engage at all with the "new" kids and were just rolling around on each other
And since I started making evaluation noises to mom, they didn't return this school year leaving me high and dry. So I lost out on a potentially good family, and they stuck me too.
Get rid of them before they start turning off your good families and turning away potential clients.Comment
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Kids won't listen
I to had to ask a family to leave my daycare. This child would not listen, would throw chairs at the teacher, spit at her and screamed if they were made to do anything they did not want to do.
It's a hard thing to do but when I saw other children becoming afraid of this one out of control child I had no choice. Since then I have enrolled other children and my spots are filled.
1 bad apple does spoil the whole bunch!Comment
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These kids have a diagnosis of developmental disabilities? Then you aren't qualified to care for them and their parents should be seeking gov't assistance for early intervention.
No diagnosis? Then the clock is ticking but, as I learned the hard way, you can't be the one to save them. Terminate.Comment
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1st suggestion: Terminate careOriginally posted by badger411 View Post
2nd suggestion: Terminate care
3rd suggestion (said with pain, as you should not be dealing with this for the amount of money I assume you are charging): Back to baby time! Only soft toys, limited space to roam, limited toys in general, limited privileges, extra naps, conditions on everything!
AND LIMITS HOURS! (no kids need to be in care for almost 14 hours a day! How long is her commute??)
*If they have disabilities and this is not just behavioral, then they need to be evaluated and proper care needs to be sought. You are only making things worse in that case...for yourself and them. And when it comes to finances, you are not getting paid enough to care for special needs kids, so as far as not being able to afford it, I think you should reconsider.Comment
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OP, any resolution??Originally posted by badger411 View Post
I am worried about you. This is simply a known recipe for disaster. Statistically speaking.
How are you doing?- Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.Comment
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More information
DCM is a CNA working 12 hour shifts at a rehab hospital. She drops off at 5:20 am for her 6 am shift, and picks up at 7 pm after she gets done at 6:30 pm. So that is why they are in care for 13.5+ hours, depending on traffic, errands after work, etc. Why so judgemental about the length of time kids are in care? Not everyone is an 8-4 or 9-5 office worker. The aggregate time spent in care is still 40 hours a week, it is just lumped into 3 days instead of 5. We provide 24 hour care if requested because there is an EXTREME need for care for parents working overnight shifts. I just don't get the superior and snobby attitude of some of the people in this forum towards parents and fellow providers. Some of you are like the salesclerk in Pretty Woman who tells Julia Roberts, "Oh those are VERY expensive. YOU couldn't afford them."Comment
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:confused:Originally posted by badger411 View Post
I actually did shift care (13 hour days), so i am not judging parents who need it. You spoke of two children with significant behavioral (developmental?) issues that are in care 13.5 hours a day. I apologize for missing the 3 days part, but it is not snobby to ask about the potential correlation between spending almost 14 hours a day in daycare and bad behavior. Or if they have delays and your daycare is not set up for that, it may just not be a good fit.
All in all, i am not judgemental of any shift worker as they tend to be the heart of our communities, but i also refuse to raise someone else kid, so if you cant figure out a solution, i would take a pay cut and move on.Comment
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Usually more time in care (daily) = more behavior issuesOriginally posted by badger411 View Post
Generally speaking... it's basic child development not judgemental or superior.Comment
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BC you beat me to it.Originally posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I 100% agree. kids that are in care longer are always the ones who usually have more behavioral issues. Sadly, there is not enough time in a day for the child to get face time with their parent, which I believe takes a huge toll on the child.
Years ago I operated for 12.5 hour days. I had all kinds of issues like yours. I cut my days down to 9.5 and magically all of the major drama went away. I, of course still have small behavior issues from time to time, but nothing like I did when I had kids for extended hours.
how much do the kids play outside? I also find that if they are pent up for extended periods of time and not given enough opportunities to let out some energy, behavioral problems will occur.Comment
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I have three dck's who are here 3 days a week from 5:30-7:15. They are from 3 different families and their moms work at a local hospital as nurses.Comment
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happy to hear that you have a golden group...you are lucky.Originally posted by Poptarts22 View Post
I had those kids too when I was open that long, but sadly it was about 50% of my kids that were having behavior issues.Comment
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I used to have kids that long as well but now the parents I have that work those types of 12 hour shifts have a spouse or family member that will pick up earlier so the child doesn't have to spend so much in care.Originally posted by daycare View Posthappy to hear that you have a golden group...you are lucky.
I had those kids too when I was open that long, but sadly it was about 50% of my kids that were having behavior issues.
Somewhere along the way I learned the fallout wasn't healthy or acceptable for any party involved.
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same here. When I jumped to the graduating fee scale all of a sudden my 12.5 hour families could all pick up by 4:30pm. Shortly after that happened I chose to close at 5pm...Originally posted by Blackcat31 View PostI used to have kids that long as well but now the parents I have that work those types of 12 hour shifts have a spouse or family member that will pick up earlier so the child doesn't have to spend so much in care.
Somewhere along the way I learned the fallout wasn't healthy or acceptable for any party involved.
No it isn't healthy for any party involved. can you say stresssssssssssssss...
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