Gggerrrrrrr

[lvt77]

So I have a DCB 4.5 yrs old. Lots of issues with the whole family…We have been working on potty training and have been having a horrible time with it..
Last week he refused the toilet all week. Mess every where in my house. Called mom and said, he needs to be in pull ups or diapers…Her choice… She told me NO WAY.. so I said well he is not using the bathroom at all. Been here since july and still will not potty train.. DCM says he never has issues at home….
Long story short, this am she brings him at 6am in diapers… Guess she forgot to take it off today….BUSTED…
Now what? She is obviously not potty training at home at all and then blaming me?? Would you term?

Oh one other thing, When I do have all of the kids in the potty training class use the toilet, (about every 45 min or as needed) this DCB will lie. He will tell me he went when there is no way in the amount of time taht he is in the bathroom taht he could have gone??????

[jen]

Was the diaper from the night before? I have known lots of kids who sleep in diapers long after potty training.

As for the accidents...I would bring him the bathroom every 30 to 45 minutes. Wait until he is very involved in playing and then bring him up to the bathroom. At 4.5 there is either a developmental problem or he is having some sort of power struggle with you.

In any case, I don't think diapers are the answer for a kid that age.

[safechner]

How dare is that! I would termination them because it is unacceptable to blamed on you and lied to you. It is up to you.

[dEHmom]

I don't know about terming, but I think you need to write it up. Make sure there is note in file at least.

I have in my contract will potty train and adopt your technique if it is working well at home, but will not potty train for you. You are required to let me know if you discontinue training.

edit: sorry I totally forgot we were talking about an almost 5 yr old here! I still don't necessarily think you should be terming, unless the mom is freaking on you. it is not your responsibility to potty train, and if she refuses diapering then she can clean your house, and I think that refusal of diapers would be a reason to term, since it's not working out. BUT be sure to have it signed that she is refusing to diaper.

[mickey2]

For me that would be a VERY big YES!!! At 4.5 years he should be trained if not he has issues that I can not deal with in a daycare setting with other kids. He needs special care! If mom wants me to keep him and pay me the rate x 5 which would be $750 per week, sure I will keep.

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

I totally would not want to deal with that....at his age he should know better. In a roundabout way the mom is claiming you must be doing something wrong, again would not want to deal with this mom either. As providers we are expected to be able to handle situations, but there is a line somewhere that state this is just not right...and this is just not right. If you can replace, I would!

[WImom]

I think I would atleast suspend care until there is a doctor's note that there isn't anything wrong with the child physically. That is just too old not be able to use the potty.

I'd probably mention the diaper too and see if it was for night time or what?

[lvt77]

my own DS is 3 and he wears over nighties... ONLY at night...change first thing in the am..

Looks like most of you are on the same page as me.. I feel lied to and dont fell that its fair that I am being blamed... I asked the DCB if he wears the pull ups at home and he said yes. He told me I wear them all day until daddy gets home from work............ugh...

Like one of you said, I will help assist in the potty training process, but do not expect me to do it for you.... Potty training has to start at home...

[momofboys]

my own DS is 3 and he wears over nighties... ONLY at night...change first thing in the am..

Looks like most of you are on the same page as me.. I feel lied to and dont fell that its fair that I am being blamed... I asked the DCB if he wears the pull ups at home and he said yes. He told me I wear them all day until daddy gets home from work............ugh...

Like one of you said, I will help assist in the potty training process, but do not expect me to do it for you.... Potty training has to start at home...

Lots of kids, especially boys are not dry at night, my older boys although trained by about age 3 wore pull-ups at night til they were 4 1/2. My issue would be with the messes you are obviously having to clean up on a daily basis. It does sound like mom is not being honest with you though. Does the boy even tell you when he has to go? I don't think I could put up with it that long, I have carpeting in 75% of my home & the carpet is not in great condition & doesn't need any new damage. I would have a serious talk with mom about this. Sorry you have to put up with that.

[jen]

my own DS is 3 and he wears over nighties... ONLY at night...change first thing in the am..

Looks like most of you are on the same page as me.. I feel lied to and dont fell that its fair that I am being blamed... I asked the DCB if he wears the pull ups at home and he said yes. He told me I wear them all day until daddy gets home from work............ugh...



Like one of you said, I will help assist in the potty training process, but do not expect me to do it for you.... Potty training has to start at home...

Oh, I hope you don't think I meant it was your fault I don't. I think that there is either something wrong with the kid or he's intentionally being a snot. My reaction would be to make sure he spent most of time visiting the potty, because, in my opinion, he'll get bored of that game pretty darn quick and use the bathroom.

To be honest, I don't think it matters if Mom and Dad are putting him in pull-ups. I just wouldn't want to change a freakin' 4.5 year old. The kid is going to be kindergarden soon, he NEEDS to use the bathroom. I think his parents are jerks for not getting the situation under control.

[Symphony]

I think I would atleast suspend care until there is a doctor's note that there isn't anything wrong with the child physically. That is just too old not be able to use the potty.

I'd probably mention the diaper too and see if it was for night time or what?

I agree with this. It also seems a little scary to me that he says he wears pull-ups untill Daddy gets home. That is a red flag to me...

This has to be so frustrating for you. It makes me feels sorry for the little guy, and his mom too if Dad is a person who this needs to be hidden from. What kind of marriage is that where you hide major things about your children from your partner?!

[lvt77]

Oh, I hope you don't think I meant it was your fault I don't. I think that there is either something wrong with the kid or he's intentionally being a snot. My reaction would be to make sure he spent most of time visiting the potty, because, in my opinion, he'll get bored of that game pretty darn quick and use the bathroom.

To be honest, I don't think it matters if Mom and Dad are putting him in pull-ups. I just wouldn't want to change a freakin' 4.5 year old. The kid is going to be kindergarden soon, he NEEDS to use the bathroom. I think his parents are jerks for not getting the situation under control.

sorry i did not think that at all... you were very sweet about it and I really thank you for taking the time to reply.... I just feel like Im in a corner.... I want to help, but don't want to help if parents are willing to assist at home... I am still in awe that a kid his age still sits in poo.....YUCK...
So most of you said term..... a few said give warning.................... Now I am really confused......but thank you all for all of your input... I love having other DCP opinions