Vent/Advice

[debbiedoeszip]

Ugh, day two with a new toddler (2.5yo) and it's not going so well. The biggest issue is that he curses when he's unhappy with you (by that I mean he tells you "f*ck you and it's crystal clear what he's saying). And mom wants him napping no longer than 45 min., though I did push her up to 1 hour of nap. He seems a bit sleep deprived all the time and very crusty after the pm nap.

And I agreed to be open an hour later for her (no other kids here right now), and now she's also dropping off 30 minutes earlier than she said she would be (which brings my day with him to 10 hours).

Any advice on the cussing? I don't do time outs. I've been ignoring the cursing, basically looking away from him (as if he'd said nothing or just gibberish) until he stops and starts doing something acceptable, then I shower him with positive attention. The behaviour seems pretty ingrained in him as it began day 1 and by the first 1.5 hours of day two I'd been told eff you about a dozen times. He's a really great kid otherwise, but if I want additional daycare kids then either the cursing needs to go or he needs to go.

[debbiedoeszip]

Oh, and she brings him wearing a long sleeved t-shirt (extra shirt is also long-sleeved) on a day when the high for the day is 32C/90F. And he can't be allowed to become overheated as he can have seizures from that. My daycare is advertised as having hours of time outside and he comes dressed for October during an August heat wave.

[Luke25]

Good grief!! That sounds awful.... I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of that!
Is it worth it to deal with all of that for the next 2-3 years?? Could you fill that spot if you told them it wasn't working out??

[childcaremom]

"I'm sorry, dcm. This isn't a good fit. I won't be able to care for dcb any longer." I would do an immediate term.

I have termed for language issues (on day 3 of trial period). There were other issues, but that was the straw that broke my back, so to speak.

I wouldn't be happy with any of that, tbh. I'd be done.

[Annalee]

Ugh, day two with a new toddler (2.5yo) and it's not going so well. The biggest issue is that he curses when he's unhappy with you (by that I mean he tells you "f*ck you and it's crystal clear what he's saying). And mom wants him napping no longer than 45 min., though I did push her up to 1 hour of nap. He seems a bit sleep deprived all the time and very crusty after the pm nap.

And I agreed to be open an hour later for her (no other kids here right now), and now she's also dropping off 30 minutes earlier than she said she would be (which brings my day with him to 10 hours).

Any advice on the cussing? I don't do time outs. I've been ignoring the cursing, basically looking away from him (as if he'd said nothing or just gibberish) until he stops and starts doing something acceptable, then I shower him with positive attention. The behaviour seems pretty ingrained in him as it began day 1 and by the first 1.5 hours of day two I'd been told eff you about a dozen times. He's a really great kid otherwise, but if I want additional daycare kids then either the cursing needs to go or he needs to go.

you have already allowed her to dictate when you open/close and everything in between with limiting nap....not a good fit!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

This is not going to get better. This is only going to get worse. You need to terminate this family now or no one else will want to remain enrolled (when they do enroll) and you will be highly stressed.

:dislike:

[laundrymom]

Oh, and she brings him wearing a long sleeved t-shirt (extra shirt is also long-sleeved) on a day when the high for the day is 32C/90F. And he can't be allowed to become overheated as he can have seizures from that. My daycare is advertised as having hours of time outside and he comes dressed for October during an August heat wave.

I agree w other poster.
Have his things ready today.
I'm not a "termer" as a rule but nope.
Apparently he is repeating what he's heard and it unacceptable to use those words in a childcare setting.
If you dont want to term just yet a reminder that he needs appropriate clothing for tomorrow or she can take him with her to retrieve appropriate clothing. If she doesn't have the time hand her a pair of scissors, and one of his shirts.
Have her make it appropriate.
Stop letting her inability to provide for her son dictate his play while at your facility.
Also, give him until Friday to stop cursing, and let mom know Friday is the deadline. You didn't create the problem nor can you be responsible for fixing it.

[MunchkinWrangler]

you have already allowed her to dictate when you open/close and everything in between with limiting nap....not a good fit!

I absolutely agree with this!!! You have already allowed her to dictate YOUR business. I would rein it in immediately.

I agree with other posters that this isn't a good fit for you. The fact that the hours are more than what you are open is a huge dealbreaker.

[KiwiKids]

This is not going to get better. This is only going to get worse. You need to terminate this family now or no one else will want to remain enrolled (when they do enroll) and you will be highly stressed.

:dislike:

Agreed! This would be an immediate NO for me and I've only termed twice in 11 years.

[debbiedoeszip]

So, mom calls as I'm about to wake the boy up (at the one hour mark) to ask if he's still sleeping. Apparently she had to drive him around at 3am (after his first day) due to sleeping issues. I tell her that I didn't let him sleep beyond one hour yesterday and then she goes off a bit and adds that maybe this isn't a good fit (I swear I heard angels singing at that moment LOL). I said, ok well how about if Friday is (boys name)'s last day and that will give you until the end of the weekend to find another daycare. She said she'd see what she could do and we ended the call.

FF to when she's to pick up her son and two strangers show up at the door. I don't allow him to go with them until mom has been reached. Mom states that she left a voicemail. I tell her that she needs to speak with me. She restates that she left a voicemail. I restate that she needs to actually speak with me if there are other people coming to get her son. Oh, and there were no voicemails or missed calls on my phone, which I had with me all afternoon/evening. We even get an email with a voicemail and there were no emails either. I guess it's possible that she dialed the wrong number mistakenly and left a voicemail on someone else's phone, but really I think she's just a lying liar who lies.

I'm being punked, right? Please, someone tell me I'm being punked? LOL.

I'm terming her tomorrow. I'll let her know at drop off (if she even shows) that it's her son's last day with me.

Thanks for all the feedback everyone. You guys rock!

[Play Care]

Why let her attend at all? I would be calling her before opening and telling her that care has ended. Telling her at opening leaves her the opportunity to flip out at you on your doorstep.
She sounds like a peach.

[childcaremom]

I agree with above. I would call and tell her forget it, you're done. Yes, even this morning.

[debbiedoeszip]

So mom called me this morning at 9:20 (she told me drop off would be at 9 daily, but was coming up to 30 min earlier) to say that they were still coming but..and then I cut her off to say that unfortunately I would not be providing care for her anymore. She started saying something that I think was going to lead to something about me acting unprofessionally, and I cut her off again to say that the later hours and her son's foul language made him not a good fit for my daycare. She made a scoffing noise and then I added that going forward such language would be cause for immediate termination and then we ended the call. Immediately felt such a wave of relief LOL.

So, things I have learned:

1. Mild language (poop, crap, damn) I will work with the child for one week to extinguish the language. F*ck, sh*t, etc, I will call for immediate pick up and termination.

2. Don't waffle on open/close hours.

3. Have a policy and procedures page and go over it line by line during interview. Don't be "afraid" to discuss deal breakers, maybe sound like a bitch, etc. Be assertive.

4. Be choosier about who I agree to provide services to (clients will be professionals, military, etc). And don't ignore red flags; always go with my gut.

5. Payment in advance. Always.

[Luke25]

Glad you got it all worked out!! That would have been a nightmare had he stayed. Good for you!!

[childcaremom]

So mom called me this morning at 9:20 (she told me drop off would be at 9 daily, but was coming up to 30 min earlier) to say that they were still coming but..and then I cut her off to say that unfortunately I would not be providing care for her anymore. She started saying something that I think was going to lead to something about me acting unprofessionally, and I cut her off again to say that the later hours and her son's foul language made him not a good fit for my daycare. She made a scoffing noise and then I added that going forward such language would be cause for immediate termination and then we ended the call. Immediately felt such a wave of relief LOL.

So, things I have learned:

1. Mild language (poop, crap, damn) I will work with the child for one week to extinguish the language. F*ck, sh*t, etc, I will call for immediate pick up and termination.

2. Don't waffle on open/close hours.

3. Have a policy and procedures page and go over it line by line during interview. Don't be "afraid" to discuss deal breakers, maybe sound like a bitch, etc. Be assertive.

4. Be choosier about who I agree to provide services to (clients will be professionals, military, etc). And don't ignore red flags; always go with my gut.

5. Payment in advance. Always.

That has been the number one thing that I've had to really work on and have gotten better at it. And since then, my clients are a much better fit and I am much happier!

Glad you resolved it!