Your Kids Aren't My Life

[Unregistered]

This is kinda a funny post and kinda an advice post.

I had a dcm text me tuesday night saying their family was going to take an impromptu vacation so dcg would be absent W/Th/F. I responded, "Have a good time, we will miss L while she's away "

But then today I got a text from DCM that says, "We're home! Do you want me bring L over tomorrow since you weren't able to see her all week? I could come around 10."

I've never, ever, ever been open on weekends, and I have children and a husband of my own. Our weekends are absolutely packed with family activities so no(!!!) I don't want you to randomly bring your child here because I haven't seen her in 3 days.

She always makes comments like this, like I'm desperate to see her child. She sends me a picture of her daughter every.single.day. with a caption like "here's your daily L fix!" Even on days that dcg was here with me all day!

Here's the advice part: How do I gently ask that she stop sending me pictures and updates about her daughter every single second of the day? I love all my dckids but I certainly don't want to see their pictures or get updates when they aren't in my care. This mom texts me almost every evening saying, "Guess what L said/did/etc." and I never respond but still she sends the messages every single day. I'm so over it!

[Blackcat31]

This is kinda a funny post and kinda an advice post.

I had a dcm text me tuesday night saying their family was going to take an impromptu vacation so dcg would be absent W/Th/F. I responded, "Have a good time, we will miss L while she's away "

But then today I got a text from DCM that says, "We're home! Do you want me bring L over tomorrow since you weren't able to see her all week? I could come around 10."

I've never, ever, ever been open on weekends, and I have children and a husband of my own. Our weekends are absolutely packed with family activities so no(!!!) I don't want you to randomly bring your child here because I haven't seen her in 3 days.

She always makes comments like this, like I'm desperate to see her child. She sends me a picture of her daughter every.single.day. with a caption like "here's your daily L fix!" Even on days that dcg was here with me all day!

Here's the advice part: How do I gently ask that she stop sending me pictures and updates about her daughter every single second of the day? I love all my dckids but I certainly don't want to see their pictures or get updates when they aren't in my care. This mom texts me almost every evening saying, "Guess what L said/did/etc." and I never respond but still she sends the messages every single day. I'm so over it!

In response to her wanting to bring her child over I would reply "Tomorrow is a weekend, I am not open. ??"

That leaves the ball in her court that you view her statement/request as nothing more than business only..
If she replies that you referenced missing her, just tell her you miss all the kids equally when you don't see them.

(somehow she needs to come to the realization that her child isn't any more special than the other kids you have in care)

Of course you could always tell her you'd love to see L tomorrow but the rate for weekend care is $50 per hour...

As for the constant texting etc I would send notice out (address ALL parents even if you only actually tell her) that you would like all families to take into consideration that after closing time and weekends belong to YOUR family only and any parent that needs to text or call needs to do it during business hours only in respect to your family.

If she doesn't stop or feels your message doesn't apply to her, you might just have to be clear and say the words....
"Stop texting me during my off hours please. Thank you"

The only other option I see is to simply never respond.

[Controlled Chaos]

Wow, I can't imagine getting that text

I think you got good advice above...just wow

[AmyKidsCo]

Yup, ITA with BlackCat, again.

I usually don't reply to texts/emails after hours, unless they're letting me know the child will be absent the next day.

[Josiegirl]

Her kid must be so much more special than all the others you care for!!

[Indoorvoice]

I have this parent too! She is a teacher off for the summer. She keeps asking about "playdates" aka free child care this summer because we must miss her child so much. I don't respond, but it doesn't stop!

[childcaremom]

Yup, ITA with BlackCat, again.

I usually don't reply to texts/emails after hours, unless they're letting me know the child will be absent the next day.

This is me.

[Pestle]

Good grief!

My child's previous care provider loves it when kids who aged out or moved away stop by . . . for fifteen to twenty minutes. . . with their parents. So she can say, "You've grown so much!" and gossip a little, then send them on their way.

This is like the boss asking you to come to the office on the weekend for free, because you really missed it.

[Thriftylady]

Good grief!

My child's previous care provider loves it when kids who aged out or moved away stop by . . . for fifteen to twenty minutes. . . with their parents. So she can say, "You've grown so much!" and gossip a little, then send them on their way.

This is like the boss asking you to come to the office on the weekend for free, because you really missed it.

ROFL!!! I would have never thought of this that way, but it is so true!

[Josiegirl]

I just had a former dcm and her 2 kids stop by tonight; she had called ahead and told me they were having a yard sale and if I wanted to stop by I could pick out whatever stuff I wanted for free. As luck would have it, my plans didn't include going to yard sales today. But she and the kids stopped in and offered me tons of stuff they had left over. Great stuff. Which was nice in itself. BUT it was truly great seeing these 2 kids. OMG I usually only see them on Halloween now . They're 9 and 13 and omigosh, just since Oct. they have changed so much. The 9 yo boy pipes up and said you were more than a babysitter, and mom finishes and says yes, you're family.lovethis I still remember the group I had when they came to my dc and I loved that group. But these 2 particular kids I always held in a special place in my heart.
Ok, I'm done going on and on.
And on. ::
But most kiddos?? Uh uh

[Snowmom]

Jeez!

I would address it. Probably through a blanket statement to all families. Post a notice:
"Effective Immediately, I will not be answering calls or returning texts on weekends or past 6pm weekdays. Thank you for your understanding."

[daycarediva]

Good grief!

My child's previous care provider loves it when kids who aged out or moved away stop by . . . for fifteen to twenty minutes. . . with their parents. So she can say, "You've grown so much!" and gossip a little, then send them on their way.

This is like the boss asking you to come to the office on the weekend for free, because you really missed it.

My first ever dck is friends with my oldest and is here all the time. She's 16 now so it's NOT the same. ::

[thrivingchildcarecom]

I know what you mean! I have a mom (totally Type A) that even though I told her she doesn't need to respond to my notes I send to all the parents, she is just compelled to do it anyway. Even though I never respond, I just can't get her to stop.

I know this might not stop your mom, but see if you can send it to spam. Either that or you will probably just have to ignore it. I might also mention to her every now and again, "Oh I just am so busy, if its not important I don't have time to look at every email." Maybe she will get the hint, one day - LOL!

[Unregistered]

Op here


I took all of your advice and sent a letter home today with all families asking that after-hour communication be strictly limited to urgent matters or schedule changes.
DCM took the letter and it didn't seem to offend her at all so I was hopeful for a good outcome!
.... Then, 3 hours later, she texted me a picture of dcg sleeping soundly in her bed with a caption about her being the most perfect angel. 😩

Now I need to grow some gonads and send the text saying that she's already violating the new policy. I hate confronting people

[MarinaVanessa]

Oh holy moly