I know this probably sounds like a whiny post, and perhaps it is... that's why I'm going Unreg on this one, but I have to vent to people who may understand. It's a long one. I apologize in advance.
After over a year of saving up we finally invested in a new daycare van. It's a 12 passenger Nissan NV that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! It's admittedly a pricier vehicle, but being a slightly used vehicle that was customized we got it at an excellent price. Add that to the fact that our insurance premium actually went down and we will no longer have the maintenance costs that seemed to attack us monthly, I think we came out ahead. Gas mileage is better, too. I digress, but I've felt the need to rationalize my purchase all day because of a DCM, and how horrible she's made me feel.
We advised parents that there would be no transportation yesterday (Good Friday) but that we would still be open. Only one parent asked why we cancelled transportation and my assistant told him something along the lines of, "we're retiring the old van." He seemed OK with that answer, from what I was told. I posted a reminder on the website and on our group FB on Monday. We left it up all week. We sent home a print reminder in the Monday folders (our weekly communication folder where we send all pertinent information, field trip slips/reminders, etc. Parents know that the RED Monday folder is sent every Monday, and should be returned Tuesday empty, with the initial slip on the front filled out that the folder had been received and the materials inside reviewed/acknowledged/signed as appropriate). All the Monday folders came back by Wednesday *insert eye roll* initialed. Thursday at drop-off our driver reminded the caregivers that there would be no transportation Friday, but we were open for those who could find their own transportation to bring the children and pick up themselves. We also offered up to $4 for bus fare to the parents, specifically because of one parent who lives on the other side of town, whom we believed transportation would be a real issue. That parent opted to keep child home, however.
Yesterday morning around 10 AM I received a call from a DCG grandmother concerned that her granddaughter wasn't picked up at 8:15 per usual. I told her that there was no transportation that day ONLY and all the parents were made aware, and in fact, her daughter had signed off that she received the reminder on Monday. Grandma said no one had told her there was no transportation and she had a hair appointment. I advised her that although we weren't transporting we were still open and she was welcome to bring DCG as long as she came within the hour (so DCG could be put down with the other kids at quiet time). Grandma and DCG walk into the daycare within 15 minutes of us hanging up.
DH took delivery of the new van early yesterday afternoon, so when parents started arriving around 4, the van was already in the driveway. Granted, it did not have the DC signage on it yet, but it did have the dealership stickers still on so a couple of parents noticed and mentioned it, in a congratulatory fashion. Then DCM arrives, girlfriend of the DCD that questioned why we weren't transporting Friday. She remarks, "Oh, so that's why you didn't pick up. You didn't want our kids in your fancy new van, huh?" Kind of snottily, but I couldn't tell if she was serious or being funny. Two other parents were picking up, one was on her way out but she stopped, I'm sure just to listen. The other was talking to my assistant about her potty training. DCM goes on to say, loudly, to get everyone's attention: "I had to take the bus here to get [DCG] and you have a [expletive] new van in your [expletive] yard! This is some [bullcrap] and I'm not bringing [DCG] back!" Meanwhile, grandma of the other DCG walks in and is standing in the doorway, unable to get by because of the spectator mom. I'm mortified and trying to diffuse the situation as this mom is YELLING and there are DCKs all around, one of the last 2 y.o. awaiting pickup was crying. My assistant threatens to call the police if DCM doesn't calm down and remove herself, so she grabs her daughter by the arm and starts pulling her out the door. She almost bumps into the grandmother, who is asking what's going on, to no one in particular. DCM proceeds to tell her that I used all their hard earned money that I was "overcharging" them to go buy a "fancy new van (didn't you see it when you came in?!)" and now I thought I was "too good" to pick up their kids. Like, what the heck am I going to do with a 12 passenger van if it's not for the DC?? Seriously, what are people thinking?! So anyway...
It's complete chaos and Grandma asks ME directly what's going on... I am trying to explain over the yelling mom, the crying kid, the other mom STILL in the doorway with her phone out, probably recording, and my assistant who is kind of comforting the other kids, but still engaging the DCM telling her she's misinformed and the van is FOR the kids! All the while the other DCM who was talking to the assistant has gone upstairs into my HOUSE to get my DH...!! DCM keeps cutting me off when I'm trying to talk to Grandma, contradicting everything I'm saying, calling me a liar, a cheat, a thief. Saying I'm misappropriating the funds from the daycare to offer fewer services to the parents than I originally advertised. The whole nine yards! She's saying I falsely advertised because I failed to transport ONE DAY out of the 1.5 years we've been transporting full time! One day!
Grandma seems confused by the whole scene, which is admittedly out of control, and I know she's still miffed about the pickup confusion from earlier, so I'm really trying to ignore DCM and clarify things with Grandma, hoping DCM will just move a couple more feet across the threshold and go! I'm really trying to diffuse the situation and reassure Grandma specifically because I know she pays for a large part of DCG tuition and if she decides to stop paying me DCG's mom will move her to wherever Grandma is willing to pay. DCG's mom doesn't make enough to pay the tuition herself and she lives with her mom so she doesn't qualify for subsidy so Grandma is really the consumer.
Finally my husband comes down to the daycare with the DCM (who REALLY walked into my house!! LOL!) and asks everyone to leave, stating he WILL call the police and those who are still there when they arrive will no longer have child care. The caregivers disperse rather quickly. I tell Grandma I will call her in the evening once all the kids were gone to explain everything and apologize.
When I do finally call her, she's more understanding than I thought she would be and we have a pretty good dialogue. But then she tells me that DCM continued to fuss in MY driveway and was telling Grandma and the other DCMs some really rude things about me and my program. She said she was withdrawing her daughter (again) and she advised the other caregivers to do so as well because when she was "done with" me there would be no more daycare. I was so disheartened last night that I just prayed and went to bed early.
I log on to the FB page to update it this morning and DCM had posted a really nasty post about me overcharging and being "way more than other providers in the area." She accused me of using CACFP reimbursement to purchase the van and other "personal items unrelated to the daycare" and then serving the kids canned ravioli and raw broccoli for lunch instead of what I have posted on the menus. [Where did she even come up with that one?]
She said I was "illegally charging a transportation fee" when I don't offer transportation on a regular basis and I'm "always" cancelling the van service with no notice. I don't even know her point in posting such malicious lies when the only people on the secret FB page are DC families who know better. And, yes, there was some element of truth to what she was saying about charging a transportation fee, but it's hardly substantial and it's absolutely not illegal. We charge a small transportation fee upon enrollment and annually, but it's not just to those we transport, it's for everyone. It's negligible and goes towards the insurance premiums that we pay every six months. It also goes towards upgrading/replacing car seats and "gas" for field trips, although, truth be told, the $50 per family is NOT putting ANY gas in the van, AT ALL after the insurance, registration, snow tires, winter wipers etc we purchase to keep the van safe.
I printed her rant, I screenshot it and erased it from the FB page before deleting her. DH says I should sue her for libel, but DCM doesn't have any money to make it worth it, and I'm not out to hurt her just because she hurt me. I just wish... I don't know. I guess I wish it didn't happen at all. Jealousy rears its ugly head.
My feelings are so hurt.
After over a year of saving up we finally invested in a new daycare van. It's a 12 passenger Nissan NV that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! It's admittedly a pricier vehicle, but being a slightly used vehicle that was customized we got it at an excellent price. Add that to the fact that our insurance premium actually went down and we will no longer have the maintenance costs that seemed to attack us monthly, I think we came out ahead. Gas mileage is better, too. I digress, but I've felt the need to rationalize my purchase all day because of a DCM, and how horrible she's made me feel.
We advised parents that there would be no transportation yesterday (Good Friday) but that we would still be open. Only one parent asked why we cancelled transportation and my assistant told him something along the lines of, "we're retiring the old van." He seemed OK with that answer, from what I was told. I posted a reminder on the website and on our group FB on Monday. We left it up all week. We sent home a print reminder in the Monday folders (our weekly communication folder where we send all pertinent information, field trip slips/reminders, etc. Parents know that the RED Monday folder is sent every Monday, and should be returned Tuesday empty, with the initial slip on the front filled out that the folder had been received and the materials inside reviewed/acknowledged/signed as appropriate). All the Monday folders came back by Wednesday *insert eye roll* initialed. Thursday at drop-off our driver reminded the caregivers that there would be no transportation Friday, but we were open for those who could find their own transportation to bring the children and pick up themselves. We also offered up to $4 for bus fare to the parents, specifically because of one parent who lives on the other side of town, whom we believed transportation would be a real issue. That parent opted to keep child home, however.
Yesterday morning around 10 AM I received a call from a DCG grandmother concerned that her granddaughter wasn't picked up at 8:15 per usual. I told her that there was no transportation that day ONLY and all the parents were made aware, and in fact, her daughter had signed off that she received the reminder on Monday. Grandma said no one had told her there was no transportation and she had a hair appointment. I advised her that although we weren't transporting we were still open and she was welcome to bring DCG as long as she came within the hour (so DCG could be put down with the other kids at quiet time). Grandma and DCG walk into the daycare within 15 minutes of us hanging up.
DH took delivery of the new van early yesterday afternoon, so when parents started arriving around 4, the van was already in the driveway. Granted, it did not have the DC signage on it yet, but it did have the dealership stickers still on so a couple of parents noticed and mentioned it, in a congratulatory fashion. Then DCM arrives, girlfriend of the DCD that questioned why we weren't transporting Friday. She remarks, "Oh, so that's why you didn't pick up. You didn't want our kids in your fancy new van, huh?" Kind of snottily, but I couldn't tell if she was serious or being funny. Two other parents were picking up, one was on her way out but she stopped, I'm sure just to listen. The other was talking to my assistant about her potty training. DCM goes on to say, loudly, to get everyone's attention: "I had to take the bus here to get [DCG] and you have a [expletive] new van in your [expletive] yard! This is some [bullcrap] and I'm not bringing [DCG] back!" Meanwhile, grandma of the other DCG walks in and is standing in the doorway, unable to get by because of the spectator mom. I'm mortified and trying to diffuse the situation as this mom is YELLING and there are DCKs all around, one of the last 2 y.o. awaiting pickup was crying. My assistant threatens to call the police if DCM doesn't calm down and remove herself, so she grabs her daughter by the arm and starts pulling her out the door. She almost bumps into the grandmother, who is asking what's going on, to no one in particular. DCM proceeds to tell her that I used all their hard earned money that I was "overcharging" them to go buy a "fancy new van (didn't you see it when you came in?!)" and now I thought I was "too good" to pick up their kids. Like, what the heck am I going to do with a 12 passenger van if it's not for the DC?? Seriously, what are people thinking?! So anyway...
It's complete chaos and Grandma asks ME directly what's going on... I am trying to explain over the yelling mom, the crying kid, the other mom STILL in the doorway with her phone out, probably recording, and my assistant who is kind of comforting the other kids, but still engaging the DCM telling her she's misinformed and the van is FOR the kids! All the while the other DCM who was talking to the assistant has gone upstairs into my HOUSE to get my DH...!! DCM keeps cutting me off when I'm trying to talk to Grandma, contradicting everything I'm saying, calling me a liar, a cheat, a thief. Saying I'm misappropriating the funds from the daycare to offer fewer services to the parents than I originally advertised. The whole nine yards! She's saying I falsely advertised because I failed to transport ONE DAY out of the 1.5 years we've been transporting full time! One day!
Grandma seems confused by the whole scene, which is admittedly out of control, and I know she's still miffed about the pickup confusion from earlier, so I'm really trying to ignore DCM and clarify things with Grandma, hoping DCM will just move a couple more feet across the threshold and go! I'm really trying to diffuse the situation and reassure Grandma specifically because I know she pays for a large part of DCG tuition and if she decides to stop paying me DCG's mom will move her to wherever Grandma is willing to pay. DCG's mom doesn't make enough to pay the tuition herself and she lives with her mom so she doesn't qualify for subsidy so Grandma is really the consumer.
Finally my husband comes down to the daycare with the DCM (who REALLY walked into my house!! LOL!) and asks everyone to leave, stating he WILL call the police and those who are still there when they arrive will no longer have child care. The caregivers disperse rather quickly. I tell Grandma I will call her in the evening once all the kids were gone to explain everything and apologize.
When I do finally call her, she's more understanding than I thought she would be and we have a pretty good dialogue. But then she tells me that DCM continued to fuss in MY driveway and was telling Grandma and the other DCMs some really rude things about me and my program. She said she was withdrawing her daughter (again) and she advised the other caregivers to do so as well because when she was "done with" me there would be no more daycare. I was so disheartened last night that I just prayed and went to bed early.
I log on to the FB page to update it this morning and DCM had posted a really nasty post about me overcharging and being "way more than other providers in the area." She accused me of using CACFP reimbursement to purchase the van and other "personal items unrelated to the daycare" and then serving the kids canned ravioli and raw broccoli for lunch instead of what I have posted on the menus. [Where did she even come up with that one?]
She said I was "illegally charging a transportation fee" when I don't offer transportation on a regular basis and I'm "always" cancelling the van service with no notice. I don't even know her point in posting such malicious lies when the only people on the secret FB page are DC families who know better. And, yes, there was some element of truth to what she was saying about charging a transportation fee, but it's hardly substantial and it's absolutely not illegal. We charge a small transportation fee upon enrollment and annually, but it's not just to those we transport, it's for everyone. It's negligible and goes towards the insurance premiums that we pay every six months. It also goes towards upgrading/replacing car seats and "gas" for field trips, although, truth be told, the $50 per family is NOT putting ANY gas in the van, AT ALL after the insurance, registration, snow tires, winter wipers etc we purchase to keep the van safe.
I printed her rant, I screenshot it and erased it from the FB page before deleting her. DH says I should sue her for libel, but DCM doesn't have any money to make it worth it, and I'm not out to hurt her just because she hurt me. I just wish... I don't know. I guess I wish it didn't happen at all. Jealousy rears its ugly head.
My feelings are so hurt.
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