Daycare Breached Contract?

[Unregistered]

Whether being a single mom is being used as an excuse or not, no paying customer should ever be treated with disrespect. Yes, daycare isn't a right, but it should be a right to be treated nicely.

I think single moms bring this up because it is a part of their identity. Yes, some people use it as an excuse, others use it as a reason to fight against the statistic. Most single mothers didn't plan on being in that situation. I certainly didn't but to generalize and make a blanket statement about a group of people is pretty rude.

The emotion needs to be taken out of business. Your personal feelings about anyone as a group shouldn't play a part in your business decisions or the way you treat people. And if you can't do that you shouldn't run a business. Period.

Like I said, I think if you're trying to get private (not necessities) for free, you should feel ashamed. There's all sort of government funded child care for single moms the OP could have chosen, but she thought because she was a single mom it was ok to pay someone else late. To me, playing the single mom card is like playing any other card. My mom also had cancer. It was part of her identity, but do think she goes around saying it to strangers? No, because she wants to be treated for her worth not as a victim. I took my mom on a shopping spree and this woman was like can I go first. We just ignored her. She said "I have cancer. I can't wait in line". My mom said "Go in front of me. I've had breast and anal cancer". She got to the cashier. The cashier kept ringing her and her credit declined the amount. She tried again with the "I have cancer" routine to get free stuff. There was like a teen working the counter. She was like "Miss, I will have to pay for anything you don't have to pay for. I make six dollars an hour". She fought with her. Maybe I was raised different, but I taught to have pride and not beg for luxuries. If it wasn't a necessity, you didn't need it.

[daycare]

Single mom or not thats not the point! Did OP break rules, yes, but We don't know if it was intentional or not and it shouldn't resulted in the words this provider used.

Two wrongs don't make a right and the provider should have taken the higher road and should have been the bigger person.

Sorry over hearing about the single mom card. I don't see that here as the real issue.

[MunchkinWrangler]

I honestly don't believe the OP was trying to get anything for free, she did fall behind but it was the provider's mistake to keep providing care while she is running behind on payments. She did mention that she was making an effort to catch up.

I do agree it isn't right to just think people should have more sympathy for a person just because of a particular situation that they have control of. But daycare is a necessity otherwise I don't think a lot of providers would find themselves in this line of work. If I don't think someone can afford my rates which is usually if they try negotiating, I will choose not to take on that family. I don't accept subsidy for that reason, because I don't want to get to that point where copays aren't met and I have to fulfill an agreement with the subsidy as well.

My point is the provider already had the OP as a customer and should have probably dealt with things a bit differently. It is not out of the ordinary for a provider to request a conference to help out a family in crisis or make decisions for the future. You have to treat this as a business and your families like a customer, if you fail to do that then you're not running a good business.

[daycare]

I honestly don't believe the OP was trying to get anything for free, she did fall behind but it was the provider's mistake to keep providing care while she is running behind on payments. She did mention that she was making an effort to catch up.

I do agree it isn't right to just think people should have more sympathy for a person just because of a particular situation that they have control of. But daycare is a necessity otherwise I don't think a lot of providers would find themselves in this line of work. If I don't think someone can afford my rates which is usually if they try negotiating, I will choose not to take on that family. I don't accept subsidy for that reason, because I don't want to get to that point where copays aren't met and I have to fulfill an agreement with the subsidy as well.

My point is the provider already had the OP as a customer and should have probably dealt with things a bit differently. It is not out of the ordinary for a provider to request a conference to help out a family in crisis or make decisions for the future. You have to treat this as a business and your families like a customer, if you fail to do that then you're not running a good business.

Very well said !!!!!

[MunchkinWrangler]

Very well said !!!!!

Thanks!

[Thriftylady]

Yes, that "single mom" card bugs the crap out of me. I have been a single mom. Nope, not easy. But it isn't a built in excuse for things. I have seen moms use it for more than just paying for things. When I was a single mom, my daycare provider was the FIRST person I paid. If she wasn't paid, I couldn't work. If I couldn't work, I couldn't pay ANY of my bills.

The whole "argument" part of this, IF the OP is telling the real story, they provider should have handled it much better. There should have never been any argument where things got heated in front of the children. But I see it as two separate issues. Yes sometimes providers do as PP posted here and work with families in crises. But the point is we don't have to. Sometimes we flat out can't afford to and still provide what we need to provide for the kids. Perhaps the provider just couldn't afford not to get paid. What if making an exception meant the lights would be turned off? There are expenses associated with caring for other people's children. Without knowing the providers side I hate to judge.

[Ariana]

I don't care if you are a single mom or an alien mom with one arm, my fees need to be paid. Of all the services you receive as a parent you'd think the daycare would be the one you wouldn't default on. Default on the gas company or the electric, they can handle late payments. Once you default on your daycare you are jeopardizing care for your child and creating a hostile environment for your child. Shouldn't that be more important as a "single mom"? Also if you HAVE to be late with the payment why not be upfront about it? Let the care provider know beforehand. A simple budget will allow you to know how much money you have from week to week so if anything unexpected comes up you can juggle it beforehand.

I think both parties acted irresponsibly and I think the relationship is doomed at this point.

[daycarediva]

I don't think it matters who was wrong or right in this situation. It sounds like the situation got out of hand and you and the provider were yelling at each other??? I would pull my child based on that alone. When a provider loses her cool and insults you, it's time to find a new provider. I'm not saying you weren't a big part of what made her lose her cool, just it's time to move on.

She has every right to terminate services. It's her business.

For future reference, not many daycare providers will let you stay if you are behind in payment. Most providers have a rule that if you haven't paid (and often you pay a week ahead of time), your child can not stay. My clients pay weekly. If they didn't pay me, they wouldn't be welcome back Monday morning.

How would you feel working and not getting paid?

Yes, that "single mom" card bugs the crap out of me. I have been a single mom. Nope, not easy. But it isn't a built in excuse for things. I have seen moms use it for more than just paying for things. When I was a single mom, my daycare provider was the FIRST person I paid. If she wasn't paid, I couldn't work. If I couldn't work, I couldn't pay ANY of my bills.

The whole "argument" part of this, IF the OP is telling the real story, they provider should have handled it much better. There should have never been any argument where things got heated in front of the children. But I see it as two separate issues. Yes sometimes providers do as PP posted here and work with families in crises. But the point is we don't have to. Sometimes we flat out can't afford to and still provide what we need to provide for the kids. Perhaps the provider just couldn't afford not to get paid. What if making an exception meant the lights would be turned off? There are expenses associated with caring for other people's children. Without knowing the providers side I hate to judge.

I agree with this.

It sounds like the dcm was wrong to just assume these payments would be acceptable (essentially shorting the provider on the contract) and the provider was VERY unprofessional handling the situation.

I have had some AMAZING single Moms (one I gave a small weekly discount to when dcd walked out and then got over a year behind in child support before he was incarcerated). She ended up paying me back with her tax return and the MINUTE she could pay my full payments, she started writing the checks for that amount. SHE went without. Not her bills, or her child.

I have had some HORRIBLE single moms. Recently one remarried (so two full time incomes PLUS child support). I literally laughed in her face when she tried to cry me a river. They had a lavish wedding and honeymoon. They are no longer here, but I handled it professionally.

You need to send a written termination notice to your provider (something you can document). Write out the dates of your payments and what it covered, and have her apply the deposit to the last two weeks of care and be done with it.

[Hunni Bee]

The Provider did not follow her own policies, went back and forth, made up rules on the spot and was degrading to another human being.

Point blank.

Transparency here - my car insurance got cancelled. I am a single mom and I was going through a payroll garnishment - I legit could not pay it. Not their problem. They gave me some time, sent notices, followed their policies. I paid some of it, but not enough and they politely cancelled me.

They did not change their rules or make up new rules, they did not call me and insult me or make comments about my personal life. They followed their policies.

That's all this provider needed to do. I don't care what else happened and I do not feel she was justified because the DCM was behind on her payments. It was super unprofessional and rude. :dislike:

[Thriftylady]

The Provider did not follow her own policies, went back and forth, made up rules on the spot and was degrading to another human being.

Point blank.

Transparency here - my car insurance got cancelled. I am a single mom and I was going through a payroll garnishment - I legit could not pay it. Not their problem. They gave me some time, sent notices, followed their policies. I paid some of it, but not enough and they politely cancelled me.

They did not change their rules or make up new rules, they did not call me and insult me or make comments about my personal life. They followed their policies.

That's all this provider needed to do. I don't care what else happened and I do not feel she was justified because the DCM was behind on her payments. It was super unprofessional and rude. :dislike:

I agree that the provider needs to follow her own policies. But I have a hard time saying the provider didn't do that. We are only hearing one side of the story. Before I blamed the provider for all that, I would want to hear the side of the provider. I have had more than one parent say my handbook said something it didn't or didn't say something it did. Heck I have had them say that about the things they initialed on the contract!

[Hunni Bee]

I agree that the provider needs to follow her own policies. But I have a hard time saying the provider didn't do that. We are only hearing one side of the story. Before I blamed the provider for all that, I would want to hear the side of the provider. I have had more than one parent say my handbook said something it didn't or didn't say something it did. Heck I have had them say that about the things they initialed on the contract!

First the Provider said that there was a 10% late fee BUT didn't charge it.

Then the dcm read the contract and it didn't say anything about a late fee.

Either way, she didn't follow her policies.

But you are right, we don't know the whole story, but I doubt the entire thing is false and the Provider was wrong on several points.

[Unregistered]

The provider seemed out of control. Maybe she had a bad day or other parents not pay and you were the last straw. But still, very unprofessional. Parents need to remember that you are our paycheck and if we are paycheck to paycheck and have bills too, it is very frustrating on our side.
On the bright side.....with her giving you immediate termination, you do not owe her for 2 week notice or whatever it may be in the contract! But you do need to pay her for days watching your child orshecan collect in court for that.