Dinner Problem

[countrymom]

I have a million problems today and some drama (I'll post later about the drama) but anyways, my kids get off the bus at 415pm, they are usually hungry so they have a quick snack but dinner is usually done at 430pm (we have activities and I don't want them to eat so close to heading out the door) well the sister (see post below "I have a problme")will get a snack when I pick her up at 4pm, well now she is constantly telling me that she is sooooo hungry and that she's starving. I just don't make enough food for my own family (there is 6 of us) but I don't think its fair that my own children should wait till she goes home which is anywhere between 430 and 515pm. what do you all do with dinner. I've been telling her that I just don't make enough for everyone, its different if I had extra (like tonite, too much drama so pizza out of the freezer we eat---thank you meijers for their 10 for 11 special) so you think its rude that my kids and husband eat while the dck's are here, our table is located near the daycare room so there is no where else to eat.

[AnythingsPossible]

I don't see a problem with your family eating while daycare is there. You need to live your life! As far as the daycare girl goes, I would simply tell her, you have had your snack, I'm sure your mom will have a wonderful dinner for you when you get home.

[Rachel]

I personally wouldn't serve dinner right in front of another child and not offer. I think it would be different if they were eating in another room, but to sit in front of her and eat is rude IMO. She's not going home unreasonably late, I would either serve her dinner (feel free to add an extra charge), or find some place for your family to eat not right in front of her.

[MyAngels]

Maybe wait to give her her snack when your family eats?

[Luna]

I would serve her with everyone else, maybe just a smaller portion just to hold her over until she gets home. I agree that it's rude to eat in front of someone without offering some.

[nannyde]

Any kid that is here at five gets supper. I work it out with the parents that I will feed them no matter what. I can't deal with hungry kids. I would never eat in front of a kid and not offer them food.

[AnythingsPossible]

Totally disagree that is rude to eat in front of them. Maybe if you had refused to give her a snack it would be rude, but she has eaten, and as a parent, I wouldn't want you giving my child dinner at 4:30 because that is when your family needs to eat. Most days I eat lunch after the kids have eaten their's as I am busy at lunch time attending to them. Is it rude that I eat while they are relaxing and getting ready for nap? Should I give them more to eat just because I am eating? I think that if she has been given a snack, then it's fine. However, you could do as a previous poster suggested and make her wait for snack till your family eats dinner, though from the sounds of it she would just complain about that as well. Your table is near the daycare room, not in the same room, so they aren't eating in front of her right? Maybe find an activity for her to do while they are eating. Sorry to disagree, but I just don't feel it's rude if her family needs to eat dinner early and eats while DCK is there.

[KEG123]

We don't eat dinner until later, is that an option for your family?? If I plan to close/have kids out the door by 5:30, then as soon as they left I'd start dinner and it would be done by 6-6:30.

[dEHmom]

Discuss it with the parents...If they want you to feed her at that time then do so. If they don't, then they can explain to her why she can't eat with you.

If it makes her happy to sit at the table with you guys to eat her snack, then let her. Or give her something "special" only she gets to do during the day for her to do while you guys are eating.
I understand eating at an early time because of schedules with sports/etc. I am usually cooking supper while kids are still here, and as soon as they leave, we eat fast, and run out the door.

[countrymom]

so, just to clarify the dinning room is a seperate room, but its next to the daycare room.

so today, I what some of you suggested, I waited to serve dinner to my family after they left-----it didn't work, because my own children and dh were very hungry (he starts work at 4am) and the dcg just didn't stop with the "Im hungry" so when I picked her up I gave her a snack-cheese and crackers, I also had gold fish crackers on the table for my crowd who woke up from their nap---she ate all the crackers, then I had to give them more and again she ate their food, so needless to say I was mad. My kids were miserable because I found them trying to eat junk food. so I don't care now. supper will be served when they get home and she can go and play in the other room. I'm more mad that she ate all the kids snack and when she got scolded for it decided to boohoo about it.

[laundrymom]

I won't feed one without all. If my family can't wait an hour and have dinner after I get off work then they can either go to dinner without me or have snacks in their rooms. I personally think serving food that isn't available to everyone in the home is rude. My own husband gets up at 4 is clocked in by 5 and works 10 to 12hours. Come s home and waits for me to finish working. He does as much cooking as I do and we always seem to time our food to finish just after the kids go home. Even if it means holding it for a bit in the oven. We do not eat with daycare here. If we have an activity or something and are pressed for time they take a bar or applesauce to their room and snack hidden from daycare, As I work until 6 and we eat after the activity.

[QualiTcare]

from my experience, even my own daughter, kids are STARVING when they get out of school.

i think it's just insane to eat in front of a kid and not offer them some. i'd bet almost anything there are enough scraps left over from 6 people eating that she could eat with no problem if the portions were just a tiny bit smaller. okay, it's not "in front" of her since she can't see them putting the food IN their mouth, but obviously she knows there is food, can smell the food no doubt, and knows everyone is eating except her.

sorry, no matter how you word it, it's plain mean.

[DBug]

I have dc kids til 6, my family eats at 5:30. The dc kids get a snack at 3:15 and another one at 5, so they've eaten lots. My kitchen is visible from the dc room, so yes the dc kids can see my kids eat dinner. But seriously, after feeding them 2 meals and 3 snacks all day, they're fine even if they say they're hungry. I don't have a problem with feeding my family in front of them, and I don't think you should either.

Maybe make the afterschool snack a little bigger or allow more time to eat it, but once she's had her fill, tell her to go play. I wouldn't be above reminding her that my kids don't get to go to her house and have supper with her! She's had snack, she'll have supper at home soon, she can go play til Mommy comes.

[mac60]

I have dc kids til 6, my family eats at 5:30. The dc kids get a snack at 3:15 and another one at 5, so they've eaten lots. My kitchen is visible from the dc room, so yes the dc kids can see my kids eat dinner. But seriously, after feeding them 2 meals and 3 snacks all day, they're fine even if they say they're hungry. I don't have a problem with feeding my family in front of them, and I don't think you should either.

Maybe make the afterschool snack a little bigger or allow more time to eat it, but once she's had her fill, tell her to go play. I wouldn't be above reminding her that my kids don't get to go to her house and have supper with her! She's had snack, she'll have supper at home soon, she can go play til Mommy comes.

Well said. Our days start very early, 6:15am, kids have after school activities, this is THIER home. I should not feel obligated to feed a child supper at 4:30 because she is still here. If she has had her snack, then she is done for the day. My hubby works 2nd shift, and always eats before he leaves for work....I certainly don't feel obligated to feed the kids again just because he is eating his lunch before 2nd shift work. There is a word in our language and it is NO. So many parents have forgotten what that word is.

Think about it, for most kids in our care, we feed them 2 of their daily meals and all their daily snacks Mon thru Fri....I certainly wouldn't increase to 3 meals a day, especially on my measly $85 per week.

[nannyde]

I don't get this.

You understand that your children are coming home from school at the same time and they have a snack but are still hungry and need to eat supper fifteen minutes later.

You tried to postpone them one day and they were "very hungry" and "miserable" but you don't think SHE could be at the same time?

I guess I'm old school but if someone in this house is going to be hungry it's going to be me. I would give the kid my own food and go without before I would ever allow a kid to be hungry in my house.

It feels like there is something else going on here but I can't quite figure it out.

Have you asked the Mom about feeding her supper early when she gets home from school? Have you told her she wants a SUPPER and a snack right after you get her just like your own kids? Has anyone figured out what she is eating during the day and what time? Does she eat school lunch or packed lunch and what time?

Have you asked the Mom to provide supper MEALS for her either by bringing it or paying you to provide it? Are you on the Food Program? Is the child overweight?

If her Mom says no to more money or actually bringing you a full meal for each day that you can microwave and serve then you need to start having the kid call the Mom at work after snack and tell her that she is starving hungry EVERY SINGLE DAY. The child needs to say it to the Mom so she can fix it.

I don't know how you guys eat but if you are making meals that are high fat, high sugar, high starch, that SMELL like "junk" food to her she's going to want it whether she is hungry or not. If you are making pizza, chicken nuggets, fries, or even spaghetti (has a lot of sugar and starch) then the kid is going to know that's what tastes really good and she is going to want it. (not saying that's what you serve but just sayin... if it smells like kiddie junk food she is going to want it)

The Mom can make you containers of frozen foods that are from their meals that you can just heat and serve. She can bring you five a week for the kid to have right away when she comes. She can make containers from her leftover suppers and you can just return the containers to her daily.

There HAS to be some way to figure this out without the kid going hungry or eating in front of her. When you have snack out you have to WATCH her ... supervise her... so that she's not getting into the other kids food. That's part of doing day care... careful proximal supervision at all times.

There's more to this that I can't figure out. You are saying you don't make enough supper for her but that's solved by just making more supper. If this is a time/money thing... where you don't want to do the expense and work of feeding her supper then you have to work with the parent to get her picked up really fast after school so she can eat. If you are getting a really small amount of money for the max 1.25 hours a day she is in your house in the afternoon then maybe it's not worth it to keep her? If you have her sibling full time then you may be feeling pressured to deal with her in order to save the sibling slot???

Either way you have a kid that has a high need during the time you DO have her and you the Mom and you need to come to some financial agreement either by increasing your salary or picking the kid up early so the kid gets to eat right away like your kids do cuz they ALL need it.