DCF Just Termed Without Notice

[Devastated]

I just been termed by a DCF, with out notice and they do not want to give me one either.

My dd bit dcb a four times during a 2 month period, she bit in retaliation to him stealing a toy from her or hitting her. One time I did not see the bite another time, I was distracted at pick up and got interrupted when I want to tell them.
I was always honest with how and why it happened.

DCM recently had surgery and been home while DCB comes. DCM has not been able to pick DCB up for a few weeks and he knows she is home. DCM says DCB has gotten more aggressive. DCM says DCB is getting more aggressive. DCB is true boy (not sure how to word that) but he climbs, plays in the dirt, he dumps things, he strong (upper body, He plays tug of war with his family's dog) -- he is a real boy type. I did not see anything wrong with his "aggression", he was just being a boy. He was not hurting any one.

Last time she bit was before Thanksgiving but did not leave until today. They kept bringing him for full days even though dcm was home and off restrictions. I sent him home when he was not feelong well and DCD still wanted him to come the next day.

This is the 4th family this year. One DCM lost her job, another DCF I termed, Drop in that contract expired and now this one.

Ugh. I am so upset. This DCB, I looked forward to coming and missed him when he was not here. I even had gotten him a gift for Christmas.


How did you feel after a DCF termed you?
Should I push the no notice, since my dd was the biter?

[AmyKidsCo]

It's always hard when a family leaves. As much as I try not to take it personally I still do.

If they signed a contract that says they have to give notice I'd push it. If not, I'd let it go.

:hug:

[Thriftylady]

It's always hard when a family leaves. As much as I try not to take it personally I still do.

If they signed a contract that says they have to give notice I'd push it. If not, I'd let it go.

:hug:

I agree with this.

[Unregistered]

I wouldn't push it. He's prolly staying with his mom or some other cheaper option. I also think they'll blame your child and possibly say petty comments.

[childcaremom]

What does your contract say?

[Devastated]

What does your contract say?

Contract says 2 week notice.
This is not the first daycare they left. He got bit and unexplained injuries at the last place.
They plan on sending him to the new daycare in town when it opens or when mom goes back to work.

(I blame DCD, he has poor communication skills and was uncomfortable to talk to. He has been doing most drop offs and all pick ups. I had a great relationship and open communication with DCM.)

So do I have a leg to stand on since, it was my dd who bit?

[NillaWafers]

Contract says 2 week notice.
This is not the first daycare they left. He got bit and unexplained injuries at the last place.
They plan on sending him to the new daycare in town when it opens or when mom goes back to work.

(I blame DCD, he has poor communication skills and was uncomfortable to talk to. He has been doing most drop offs and all pick ups. I had a great relationship and open communication with DCM.)

So do I have a leg to stand on since, it was my dd who bit?

Unless it says in your contract that biting is considered an immediate termination and breach of contract (which I doubt it does) they still owe you the two weeks.

I had a biter who just wouldn't learn (took like 4 months). This is how two years olds learn - so frustrating. It's just a part of life and withdrawing your child over it is silly imo. They probably can't afford it right now and are looking for excuses.

[Blackcat31]

Unless it says in your contract that biting is considered an immediate termination and breach of contract (which I doubt it does) they still owe you the two weeks.

This is dependent on several details.

Does your handbook or policies state how you as the provider will deal with biting or aggressive behavior that causes physical harm to others? Any documentation in regards to how (detailed) being managed?

If not, the family may have been well within their rights to pull their child out of care regardless of WHO it was that bit their child. As a parent you couldn't make me continue bringing my child somewhere that he/she was not safe.

I had a biter who just wouldn't learn (took like 4 months). This is how two years olds learn - so frustrating. It's just a part of life and withdrawing your child over it is silly imo. They probably can't afford it right now and are looking for excuses.

The biter isn't the one that should learn.... while biting IS not acceptable it IS normal for certain ages and they don't learn not to bite, they are taught alternate methods of getting what they need/want....it's the caregiver that needs to learn how to find that or how to teach that to each child.

Also terming because of biting isn't silly. Human bites can cause all sorts of other issues and not only that but are one of THE most painful types of bites a person can ever endure.

Being bit once is one thing...being bit multiple times and I'd pull my child out immediately and without notice.

SAFETY trumps all else.

[NillaWafers]

This is dependent on several details.

Does your handbook or policies state how you as the provider will deal with biting or aggressive behavior that causes physical harm to others? Any documentation in regards to how (detailed) being managed?

If not, the family may have been well within their rights to pull their child out of care regardless of WHO it was that bit their child. As a parent you couldn't make me continue bringing my child somewhere that he/she was not safe.



The biter isn't the one that should learn.... while biting IS not acceptable it IS normal for certain ages and they don't learn not to bite, they are taught alternate methods of getting what they need/want....it's the caregiver that needs to learn how to find that or how to teach that to each child.

Also terming because of biting isn't silly. Human bites can cause all sorts of other issues and not only that but are one of THE most painful types of bites a person can ever endure.

Being bit once is one thing...being bit multiple times and I'd pull my child out immediately and without notice.

SAFETY trumps all else.

Sure it all depends on the contract. It depends on the severity of the bites too. With my biter I redirected every time and tried to keep situations where it normally occurred from happening. She still managed to bite despite my best efforts. I guess I just feel for OP because it's a hard situation to be in. Especially when it's your own kid. I know feeling guilty about the bites would make me want to just let it go. But being out two weeks of money right before Christmas is hard too.

[Blackcat31]

Sure it all depends on the contract. It depends on the severity of the bites too. With my biter I redirected every time and tried to keep situations where it normally occurred from happening. She still managed to bite despite my best efforts. I guess I just feel for OP because it's a hard situation to be in. Especially when it's your own kid. I know feeling guilty about the bites would make me want to just let it go. But being out two weeks of money right before Christmas is hard too.

Oh I sympathize with the provider too....especially given the time of year.

I agree that it's a tough situation to be in but in my experience the parent of the child that is bitten is usually the party that receives the sympathy and the benefit of the doubt unless the provider can PROVE she what lengths she went to in order to prevent the biting from happening.

[daycarediva]

I agree with BC. You probably won't have a leg to stand on to push the notice period.

How did you not see a bite? The child didn't cry? As a parent I would be LIVID that it happened numerous times. I probably would have termed without notice the first time my child was sent home with a bite mark- without the provider even TELLING me!

[Ariana]

If my child was biting this child repeatedly no way would I enforce the two weeks notice. I would instead ask if that was why they terminated and if it was I would apologize profusely.

I would not keep my child at a daycare where they were being bitten. Especially if this was not the first place it had been happening. I feel kind of bad for him and his family

[Crystal]

I just been termed by a DCF, with out notice and they do not want to give me one either.

My dd bit dcb a four times during a 2 month period, she bit in retaliation to him stealing a toy from her or hitting her. One time I did not see the bite another time, I was distracted at pick up and got interrupted when I want to tell them.
I was always honest with how and why it happened.

DCM recently had surgery and been home while DCB comes. DCM has not been able to pick DCB up for a few weeks and he knows she is home. DCM says DCB has gotten more aggressive. DCM says DCB is getting more aggressive. DCB is true boy (not sure how to word that) but he climbs, plays in the dirt, he dumps things, he strong (upper body, He plays tug of war with his family's dog) -- he is a real boy type. I did not see anything wrong with his "aggression", he was just being a boy. He was not hurting any one.

Last time she bit was before Thanksgiving but did not leave until today. They kept bringing him for full days even though dcm was home and off restrictions. I sent him home when he was not feelong well and DCD still wanted him to come the next day.

This is the 4th family this year. One DCM lost her job, another DCF I termed, Drop in that contract expired and now this one.

Ugh. I am so upset. This DCB, I looked forward to coming and missed him when he was not here. I even had gotten him a gift for Christmas.


How did you feel after a DCF termed you?
Should I push the no notice, since my dd was the biter?

Because of what I bolded in the quote above, I would not request a formal, paid termination notice. The child has been bitten multiple times, 1 time went unnoticed by you, and 1 time went without the parents being notified by you when you did know. Regardless of whether you were or were not trying to "hide" something, the parents probably perceive the lack of notification as such. I also feel the statement about the biting being in retaliation would sound like you are excusing your child's biting, and feel that they should as well, rather than trying to find a solution to the issue. I'd let it go.

[Snowmom]

I sympathize with you. :hug:
My child was a biter too (18 month at the time).
It took about a month to stop the behavior. During that time, he was removed from any space where he could bite one of the daycare children. Whether it was with Dad, on me (lap or carrier) or in a pack n' play.

Personally, if it were me, I'd let them leave without the two week notice.

In the future, if it ever happens with another child, I'd suggest having a conference with the parents and letting them know YOU have a plan in place, what it is and how you plan to protect their child. Although biting may be normal to US, it's usually not seen as normal or acceptable to our clients/parents. All they see (and rightfully so) is that their child got hurt in your care.

[daycare]

Because of what I bolded in the quote above, I would not request a formal, paid termination notice. The child has been bitten multiple times, 1 time went unnoticed by you, and 1 time went without the parents being notified by you when you did know. Regardless of whether you were or were not trying to "hide" something, the parents probably perceive the lack of notification as such. I also feel the statement about the biting being in retaliation would sound like you are excusing your child's biting, and feel that they should as well, rather than trying to find a solution to the issue. I'd let it go.

I have to agree with this.

If you turn the tables and put yourself in the dcm place, how would you feel if it was your daughter being bitten?

I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I would just let it go.