How Long Do You Help Wipe?

[lvt77]

I had a dcm call me today to tell me that she does not allow her child to wipe on their own. Age 4.5, that I have to do it???

When do you draw the line and expect for the child to do it on their own?

[SilverSabre25]

Um, well, I'm stuck at "doesn't ALLOW her child to wipe on her own". WTF? How the heck is the child supposed to learn if she's not ALLOWED to do it? Some people...

Anyway, to actually address the question, I would make the child try on her own at first, then follow up to make sure she did a good job. When she's consistently doing a good job, she's on her own (though I might supervise for awhile to make sure she's in the habit of doing it).

Doesn't ALLOW...that boggles my mind...

[nannyde]

I have them do it first and I check. When they show me they can get it all then I quit checking. YMMV

I don't want a kid going around with crusty undies. I don't care about what age it is. I want to make sure they can clean well. They use baby wipes to wipe so usually around 4 they can handle it themselves.

[Luna]

I haven't run into this yet. The kids I have were either past that stage when they came here or are just getting to that stage now. I will continue to wipe until they are able to consistently do a good job themselves.
This reminds me...years ago my nephew came over after school (kindergarten) and called me to the bathroom to wipe him when he was done. I was surprised and I asked him "who does this for you at school?", and he told me "Some guy".:: What a clown, that kid! FTR, he was doing it on his own at school, and his mom said he was doing it at home too.

[MN Mom]

My son, who will be 5 in 2 weeks, will still occasionally call me to the bathroom to wipe him. Usually I hear from across the house, "MOOOOOOOOOM! Come wipe my butt, I have yucky poop!"

It's only when he's tried to get it himself, and has a really hard time with it. I've been asking him what he is going to do when he goes to K next year, because mom won't be at school to help you. You need to figure it out on your own.

He just really really really hates "klingons" and is worried about keeping his underwear clean, which is good...I guess!

[QualiTcare]

I guess I'm weird. I've potty trained a lot of 2 year olds and I've found that 9/10 times THEY can even wipe themselves. Their poop is usually "healthy" and there's barely if not rarely anything there TO wipe. Usually when there's a mess it's because they wiped a little toooo early!

Boys are weird. My son who is 4 and who I've done the same thing with since he was two was sitting on the toilet crying (for I don't know how long) and I thought his sister hurt his feelings. He said, "no one won't wipe my butt." He never even yelled for me or asked! I don't know if he just knew I wouldn't? Anyway, he CAN wipe, he just doesn't WANT to and in that case I say sleep on the toilet, I am NOT wiping or doing anything they can do alone for my own kids, much less someone elses.

[daysofelijah]

I don't know I don't help much after they are trained. I help the 2 year olds while they are training, but they pretty much get it when they can go on their own. If they really need help I help them, but I try not to.

I have my almost 4yo dcb sitting and sitting in the bathroom the other day for like 10 minutes. I finally went in asked him what he was doing and he's like "I went poopy!" So I said, "Well good, wipe your butt and wash your hands!" He's never asked me to help with wiping before, but he must have been waiting for me to come help, .

[DBug]

School starts when kids are 4 by December of that school year around here, so even if they're 3.5, they need to know how to do it on their own. I have them wipe themselves (3x to be exact : and then I check. Usually they don't really need any additional cleaning.

I just always make sure they wash their hands really well afterwards ...

[Cat Herder]

I am of the mindset that THIS IS one of the things they pay me for and one of the most basic things in caring for a young child. I trim nails, brush/style hair, lotion cheeks/hands, keep chap stick on lips and clean out little ears/noses, too. I am old school like that ::.

I do want to reiterate I do not keep kids once they turn 4, so do not deal with those who use it as a "control" issue like PP have mentioned. For me it is an "itchy rash", "negative press" and "difficult laundry" issue.

[Zoe]

Wow! That's really crazy! Never had that problem before. I pretty much agree with what everyone said...just have them do it to see how well they can, then check and assist if necessary. My DD needed some help with this, but once I got her a box of those flushable wet wipes, she felt more comfortable doing it on her own. Easier to get everything If this kid needs help initially to do this independently, I'd say use the wipes first then transition to TP. Good luck!

[AnythingsPossible]

I am of the mindset that THIS IS one of the things they pay me for and one of the most basic things in caring for a young child. I trim nails, brush/style hair, lotion cheeks/hands, keep chap stick on lips and clean out little ears/noses, too. I am old school like that ::.

I do want to reiterate I do not keep kids once they turn 4, so do not deal with those who use it as a "control" issue like PP have mentioned. For me it is an "itchy rash", "negative press" and "difficult laundry" issue.

I've noticed a few providers who only watch kids up to a certain age, how do you work that with families of multiple children? Do they leave you once their oldest turns 4 or do you only watch single chilren families? I have always been curious how this arrangement works out for providers.

[alyssyn]

I'm in here with the others, when they can do it for themselves I pretty much let them handle it. If they need me to help out though I don't mind until they get it. We use baby wipes also, just makes it easier!

[Lilbutterflie]

I watched my nephew last year when he was 4. He started off asking me to wipe him, which I refused to do. I let him do it, and I would check. I did that for a couple of weeks, and then he was doing it on his own. Because he is family, I was amazed when I saw that my SIL and her DH were still wiping his butt at home! I mean, he would sit on the potty and YELL for someone to come wipe him, and if neither parent came he started to throw a total FIT!! Come on, they were still wiping him when he started kindergarten. A child that old should absolutely be able to do this on his own, and my SIL knew that he was wiping on his own at my house. It just absolutely amazed me.
On that note, I have two boys who are 4 and they never have issues. I have a 3 yo girl who wipes on her own, but on occasion her bottom gets crusty so I usually check her. My son is 2 and just recently potty trained, so I'm still wiping him. Though I must say sometimes he'll say "Mommy, I want to do it" and he usually does just fine.

[Cat Herder]

I've noticed a few providers who only watch kids up to a certain age, how do you work that with families of multiple children? Do they leave you once their oldest turns 4 or do you only watch single chilren families? I have always been curious how this arrangement works out for providers.

Once they turn 4 they get free childcare/pre-school (Pre-K, Headstart) from the State. School aged kids get free before/after school care ("Study Hall","Home Work Center"). This is all done by the school system.

The high schools even have their own daycare, staffed by students, as a class...open to the public.

[AnythingsPossible]

Once they turn 4 they get free childcare/pre-school (Pre-K, Headstart) from the State. School aged kids get free before/after school care ("Study Hall","Home Work Center"). This is all done by the school system.

The high schools even have their own daycare, staffed by students, as a class...open to the public.

Not to completly hijack this thread...but what state are you in? I've never heard of such a thing!! I wish they had something for school aged kids here as I usually end up feeling bad for kids I watched when they were little and end up watching them after school.