Hello all!
I am new to this forum, although I have been actively reading others' posts and responses. However, I am having a bit of a dilemma...
A little of the backstory first: one of my DCM started almost a year ago. Although I made a promise to myself to not become too friendly outside of caring for a client's child, she is around my age and frequently spoke to me regarding personal matters and requested to hang out sometimes. I tried to nicely decline, stating that I didn't like knowing family's personal affairs and that I didn't want to become involved in any situations. Basically, I wanted to remain on a professional level. However, she would often text me and insist on hanging out. I am a very nice person and a good listener, and I allowed myself to become too involved, admittedly. I do regret that and have learned my lesson, while distancing myself. However.
Now, she has taken the hint, but she has now become involved in a different way that makes me highly uncomfortable -- nothing I can't handle, it only increased my wariness for talking to her and has given me more reason to keep a strictly professional relationship.
The real problem lies in that she seems to expect me to do favors for her since I am her "friend". I have maintained all along that this is my business and that I cannot budge on my policies and rates. However, she has consistently given me a sob story as to why she cannot pay week to week...she is mostly current now, not including her $15 past due balance, which she has a promise to pay date arranged. Yet, she has money to go out every weekend drinking, partying, etc. what she does with her own time is not my business. But when she tells me she has no money and needs to pay me late, then I see that.... It infuriates me. I then got to the point where I insisted she pay me on payday, that I could not wait. I more or less have to beg for my paycheck every week. I have also learned to require pre-pay and deposits for future clients. However, I don't know how to change her contract to where she must pre-pay, otherwise, no-pay, no-stay. I don't want to term her because I cannot afford to, and I don't feel it's completely to that point. I just need to try adjusting the situation first. Any ideas???? Has this ever happened to you? Her ex (and DCD father) pays half, and he is consistent. He has also stated that he will pay if need be, but it should not be my responsibility to be the go-between with them, and she has put me in that situation, even though I asked her to not to. Help!
I am new to this forum, although I have been actively reading others' posts and responses. However, I am having a bit of a dilemma...
A little of the backstory first: one of my DCM started almost a year ago. Although I made a promise to myself to not become too friendly outside of caring for a client's child, she is around my age and frequently spoke to me regarding personal matters and requested to hang out sometimes. I tried to nicely decline, stating that I didn't like knowing family's personal affairs and that I didn't want to become involved in any situations. Basically, I wanted to remain on a professional level. However, she would often text me and insist on hanging out. I am a very nice person and a good listener, and I allowed myself to become too involved, admittedly. I do regret that and have learned my lesson, while distancing myself. However.
Now, she has taken the hint, but she has now become involved in a different way that makes me highly uncomfortable -- nothing I can't handle, it only increased my wariness for talking to her and has given me more reason to keep a strictly professional relationship.
The real problem lies in that she seems to expect me to do favors for her since I am her "friend". I have maintained all along that this is my business and that I cannot budge on my policies and rates. However, she has consistently given me a sob story as to why she cannot pay week to week...she is mostly current now, not including her $15 past due balance, which she has a promise to pay date arranged. Yet, she has money to go out every weekend drinking, partying, etc. what she does with her own time is not my business. But when she tells me she has no money and needs to pay me late, then I see that.... It infuriates me. I then got to the point where I insisted she pay me on payday, that I could not wait. I more or less have to beg for my paycheck every week. I have also learned to require pre-pay and deposits for future clients. However, I don't know how to change her contract to where she must pre-pay, otherwise, no-pay, no-stay. I don't want to term her because I cannot afford to, and I don't feel it's completely to that point. I just need to try adjusting the situation first. Any ideas???? Has this ever happened to you? Her ex (and DCD father) pays half, and he is consistent. He has also stated that he will pay if need be, but it should not be my responsibility to be the go-between with them, and she has put me in that situation, even though I asked her to not to. Help!
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