DCK Never Eats Here, Ever

[Snowmom]

I had a new dcb (2) start about 4 months ago. He's a nice boy, a bit quiet, but still plays with the others.
I've mentioned this to DCM, but she doesn't seem bothered by it, but he NEVER eats here. Not one bite.
He just sits at the table and stares at me.

Has anyone else dealt with this?

He's not starving. He does eat at home, although picky.

[Heidi]

Would you make an exception one day and offer ice cream cones or popsicles for an extra treat?

I wouldn't let him know it was special for him, but maybe he needs to just do it once, and then the flood gates will open?

Also..is there a rule at home like they are say grace first or something?

My granddaughter was driving me crazy at first (she started 3 weeks ago), because before every sip of milk, she asks "can I drink my milk?" I finally asked mom, and she said that they make her do that at home because otherwise she only drinks; doesn't eat.

After suppressing an eye roll, I said "oh, ok, that explains it". I also managed to refrain from giving unsolicited advice like "Why don't you just give her a half cup, and when she asks for more, tell her once her plate is empty?" I'm quite proud of myself....::

[Thriftylady]

I guess I wouldn't worry about him not eating. Sounds like he is being picky and knows he will get what he wants at home. Perhaps he snacks all night at home and gets his fill there.

[Shell]

I had one like this, she's slowly improving, also age 2.

My dcg was still being spoon fed by dcm and dcd. I don't do that

One day, I put cucumbers out on a plate in the playroom and walked away. Surprisingly, she walked over and ate about 5 pieces. Now, when I cook lunch, I always make sure she gets cucumbers. She eats other things now, but there were weeks when she ate absolutely nothing. She does drink lots of water, so I figured it was at least something!

My suggestion, put something you know the child likes on the plate along with other foods. You put it out, he either eats, or will be hungry. That's it- there's not much more you can do.

[Leigh]

I have one of those. It took him TWO years, but now he eats at least SOMETHING off his plate every day. As soon as he started eating, my "best eater ever" quit eating completely. Not a single thing at lunch, but he sometimes eats breakfast. I just set it in front of them and excuse them to dump their plates when everyone else is done eating.

[Controlled Chaos]

I had one of those for a year. As long as parents know, there's not much to be done. Can't make a kid eat. Offer it without pressure, and wait

I often ask parents to check in with their pediatrician about on nutritional deficiency issues if they don't eat well at home. One child was made to take a vitamin at home, another to drink pediasure since they wouldn't eat at daycare and ate fries and chocolate milk at home so they were nutritionally starving

[Unregistered]

I had a child like this. Wouldn't eat anything but meat. No crackers, fruit, Mac n cheese....nothing! This was years ago and I didn't serve roast beef or chicken breast like I do now. Mom told me about before he started and said he would go home and eat a pork chop, steak or chicken, so I shouldn't worry about it.

Everyone just happily ate and he just sat there. He wouldn't eat snack or breakfast either.

[Laurel]

I had a new dcb (2) start about 4 months ago. He's a nice boy, a bit quiet, but still plays with the others.
I've mentioned this to DCM, but she doesn't seem bothered by it, but he NEVER eats here. Not one bite.
He just sits at the table and stares at me.

Has anyone else dealt with this?

He's not starving. He does eat at home, although picky.

When I was in first grade I would not eat at lunch. They tried everything. I ate fine at home. My mom packed my favorite foods, wrapped my food in Christmas wrapping in December and even took me out of school for lunch occasionally and we walked (back in those days) to the lunch counter at Woolworth's and I think I ate then but she couldn't do that every day. I even got spanked by a nun for not eating. Didn't make any difference. Didn't eat. The reason was because I was shy and just not comfortable eating lunch at school. I think I thought I might throw up so I didn't want to eat. I had no medical problems. It was just anxiety. Once I got comfortable at school, I ate fine. Oh but I did learn to 'pretend' I was eating so they stopped bugging me. Once I was comfortable though I really did eat.

I wouldn't worry about it as long as the child is healthy and eating okay at home.

No worries about the spanking as it didn't even hurt and mostly I was teacher's pet at that school. Just that one meanie nun. But she did teach me to 'fake eat'. ::

Laurel

[Leigh]

When I was in first grade I would not eat at lunch. They tried everything. I ate fine at home. My mom packed my favorite foods, wrapped my food in Christmas wrapping in December and even took me out of school for lunch occasionally and we walked (back in those days) to the lunch counter at Woolworth's and I think I ate then but she couldn't do that every day. I even got spanked by a nun for not eating. Didn't make any difference. Didn't eat. The reason was because I was shy and just not comfortable eating lunch at school. I think I thought I might throw up so I didn't want to eat. I had no medical problems. It was just anxiety. Once I got comfortable at school, I ate fine. Oh but I did learn to 'pretend' I was eating so they stopped bugging me. Once I was comfortable though I really did eat.

I wouldn't worry about it as long as the child is healthy and eating okay at home.

No worries about the spanking as it didn't even hurt and mostly I was teacher's pet at that school. Just that one meanie nun. But she did teach me to 'fake eat'. ::

Laurel

My mom had a lot of "food issues" that she passed on to all 3 of her girls. I was probably close to 30 before I was comfortable eating in front of someone else-my mom was so obsessed with her weight, and with ours, that none of us wanted to eat in front of HER, let alone a stranger. She raised 2 bingers and an anorexic. No matter how hungry I was, I almost never ate at school. If I did, I had to break it into tiny pieces to make it last longer so that I wouldn't eat too much, and I would try to sneak it in my mouth when no one else was looking. It never occurred to me that food anxieties could be an issue at such a young age, but your post brought back my own memories-it's totally possible!

[Laurel]

My mom had a lot of "food issues" that she passed on to all 3 of her girls. I was probably close to 30 before I was comfortable eating in front of someone else-my mom was so obsessed with her weight, and with ours, that none of us wanted to eat in front of HER, let alone a stranger. She raised 2 bingers and an anorexic. No matter how hungry I was, I almost never ate at school. If I did, I had to break it into tiny pieces to make it last longer so that I wouldn't eat too much, and I would try to sneak it in my mouth when no one else was looking. It never occurred to me that food anxieties could be an issue at such a young age, but your post brought back my own memories-it's totally possible!

I guess it is. I did eventually eat that year at school but I had to do it at my own pace. Pretending really helped I think. I remember taking the sandwich out of the bag, pretending to take a bite and chewing. It makes me laugh now. I could then wad it up and throw it out. I was feeling pretty smart and sneaky. ::

Laurel

[Meeko]

Our job as providers is to OFFER the children a healthy meal/snack. It's not our job to make them eat it.

I don't fight over food at all. I put it in front of them. They can eat it or not.

I find the less fuss made, the more likely they are to eventually try it and be like their friends. Coaxing usually becomes a game or a power struggle.

[childcaremom]

Our job as providers is to OFFER the children a healthy meal/snack. It's not our job to make them eat it.

I don't fight over food at all. I put it in front of them. They can eat it or not.

I find the less fuss made, the more likely they are to eventually try it and be like their friends. Coaxing usually becomes a game or a power struggle.

This is what I do, as well. I refuse to battle over mealtime.

I have had 2 children like you describe. One (dcg4) would eat nothing but pb and j sandwiches, which I never served. She ate her snacks, though. I chatted with mom who assured me that she ate just fine at home so she wasn't concerned. Another (dcb2) wouldn't eat anything at snacks or lunch. He also had a hard time adjusting to daycare overall (and in hindsight, that was probably most of his problem). I eventually asked mom to send his own food to see if that helped. For whatever reason, it did. He would eat the same food that I would serve if it was sent from home:confused: Maybe it was the familiar containers? I don't know.

Maybe he is shy eating in front of others? I usually get a good conversation going at the table. Helps to slow down the fast eaters and makes it a relaxing part of our day. I also don't get upset when they don't eat. Just clear their spot and we get on with our day.

[Blackcat31]

Our job as providers is to OFFER the children a healthy meal/snack. It's not our job to make them eat it.

I don't fight over food at all. I put it in front of them. They can eat it or not.

I find the less fuss made, the more likely they are to eventually try it and be like their friends. Coaxing usually becomes a game or a power struggle.

THIS ^^^

You can't possible provide only foods that the kids like.... and how do they know they like or dislike something unless they've tried it before?

Of course, the ones that aren't as willing to try new things end up just sticking to their comfort zone (which is usually only a few options) but that's their choice. As a provider, it's your job to serve a variety of healthy foods and the only thing the child gets to choose is to eat or not.

Like Meeko mentioned above, ANY type of attention (bribing, coaxing, asking, begging, pleading etc) almost always backfires and ends up being a power struggle.....which kids seem to love more than they love junk food.

[KiddieCahoots]

Our job as providers is to OFFER the children a healthy meal/snack. It's not our job to make them eat it.

I don't fight over food at all. I put it in front of them. They can eat it or not.

I find the less fuss made, the more likely they are to eventually try it and be like their friends. Coaxing usually becomes a game or a power struggle.

THIS ^^^

You can't possible provide only foods that the kids like.... and how do they know they like or dislike something unless they've tried it before?

Of course, the ones that aren't as willing to try new things end up just sticking to their comfort zone (which is usually only a few options) but that's their choice. As a provider, it's your job to serve a variety of healthy foods and the only thing the child gets to choose is to eat or not.

Like Meeko mentioned above, ANY type of attention (bribing, coaxing, asking, begging, pleading etc) almost always backfires and ends up being a power struggle.....which kids seem to love more than they love junk food.

.......

Had one dcg 3yr's that would only eat pizza and snack that consisted of crackers. Would do the same thing with everything else on her plate....sit and stare at me.....almost like she was sending subliminal messages for me to go get the pizza...::...

Then had a dcg2yrs. that turned my attention that was given to her to eat more (dcm was on my case to get her to eat more) into a game. Other children were beginning to copy her behavior. I put my foot down with dcm, and just ignored whether dcg ate or not. Guess what?.....She started eating on her own just fine.

[BrooklynM]

I have a 2 yr old DCB that is doing this exact same thing. At meal time I put his food in front of him, he hardly ever takes a bite. His mom said he never eats at home either unless it's chips...so I don't/won't have chips here so if he chooses not to eat then that's his choice. I've never seen a kid who was offered regular meals with variety all throughout the day starve to death so I'm not worried. Sure, he needs to gain weight, he's really thin, but I can't force him.

I offer q LOT of variety, always. Every plate of food I serve has at least 3 colors on it- for example if I have a red fruit, I have yellow and green veggies, or orange carrots, etc. if I have bananas, I add a couple of other pieces of colorful fruit so it isn't so white. It works for most of the kids, not him, but eventually I'm assuming he will grow out of it!