Sensitivity; Is It Genetic or Created?

[permanentvacation]

Both. I believe people are born with certain traits, but with proper exposure to different situations ( exposure to loud noises, exposure to pets, exposure to multiple children, etc.), children can learn to adapt to what is considered normal activities and sounds.

For example, I have a new daycare child who is absolutely driving me insane because every time my dog barks, she screams holy hell! She is 2 1/2 years old, and when my dog barks, she screams, cries, throws her arms out as if she's an infant and expects you to pick her up, coddle her, and make her feel safe. IT'S A DOG THAT SIMPLY BARKED!!! But she acts like there's a roaring lion in my house! So, she might have been born sensitive to loud noises or loud noises that happen unexpectedly, but if she had a dog in her household, or frequently visited friends who have dogs, she wouldn't overreact when my dog barks, she would have gotten used to hearing a dog bark and would not be upset by it.

Also, by her throwing her arms out like an infant every time she cries, it's obvious to me that she's used to being immediately coddled as soon as she gets upset. So if she had not been grabbed up and comforted for every little thing that upsets her, she would have learned how to calm herself down when she's startled, upset, scared, etc. But she hasn't learned that. She's learned that someone else is supposed to hold her and make her feel safe.

[permanentvacation]

The child I'm speaking of has gone to the same daycare center for 2 years (almost all of her life). Her mother told me that she STILL screams, cries, throws herself on the floor, and acts as if it's her first day ever going there. She throws her fit at that daycare for the longest time. And throws her fit with crying and throwing herself on the floor throughout the day any time she doesn't get her way.

She started with me yesterday. While her mother was still here, she started crying and threw herself on the floor. I immediately reprimanded her for throwing her fit and within a matter of seconds had her getting a toy from the shelf. Then as her mother walked out the door to go to work, she cried and threw herself on the floor again. I reprimanded her again and within seconds, she was getting a toy.

Today, she cried and threw herself on the floor one time. Again, in a matter of seconds, I had her quiet and getting a toy. She has only thrown her fit that one time today!

So that tells me that the daycare center did NOTHING to teach this child not to throw her fit. They either ignored her or coddled her. But they certainly did not TEACH her NOT to throw her fit. And they did not teach her within 2 YEARS how to properly enter their daycare center and be ready for her day!

[Unregistered]

I think, and know many have disagreed with me irl, but I will say it anyway. Children are smarter and not as nice as society likes to paint them. If a negative behavior (whining/crying in this case) gets them what they want, they want a get out of jail card. 9 times out of 10 in my experience a children will get worse with a behavior before they get better/stop it. Like "Mommy gives me what I want when I cry. I'll just cry louder and louder until Miss. Mary gives me what I want". It's really lazy parenting. They give in once. I've never met a naturally sensitive child. I've met a naturally sensitive adult either. For example, when I first started teaching there was a witch of a teacher who no one would cross, because she would tear people down and then cry and flip it on her being picked up. I saw her once get into a shouting match with another teacher. I was the only witness there. The principal comes in and she stops on a dime and say "I'm calm. Mrs. A is yelling and screaming. I didn't do any thing". Eventually, as with all sensitive people, she deemed I was giving her problems. It's always everyone else to them... Well, I did what I do with these children. I responded very calmly. I kept at it in interactions. Not negative and definitely not positive. I've noticed when you take this approach with sensitive children, they "toughen" up.

[Bookworm]

I think, and know many have disagreed with me irl, but I will say it anyway. Children are smarter and not as nice as society likes to paint them. If a negative behavior (whining/crying in this case) gets them what they want, they want a get out of jail card. 9 times out of 10 in my experience a children will get worse with a behavior before they get better/stop it. Like "Mommy gives me what I want when I cry. I'll just cry louder and louder until Miss. Mary gives me what I want". It's really lazy parenting. They give in once. I've never met a naturally sensitive child. I've met a naturally sensitive adult either. For example, when I first started teaching there was a witch of a teacher who no one would cross, because she would tear people down and then cry and flip it on her being picked up. I saw her once get into a shouting match with another teacher. I was the only witness there. The principal comes in and she stops on a dime and say "I'm calm. Mrs. A is yelling and screaming. I didn't do any thing". Eventually, as with all sensitive people, she deemed I was giving her problems. It's always everyone else to them... Well, I did what I do with these children. I responded very calmly. I kept at it in interactions. Not negative and definitely not positive. I've noticed when you take this approach with sensitive children, they "toughen" up.

I agree with you. I see it everyday with a DCG-16 mos. Every single morning, mom will no leave until she puts DCG in someone's arms. And on cue, DCG starts crying. Mom claims that she is sensitive to change and spoiled. As soon as mom leaves, all crying stops and she goes to play.

[Thriftylady]

I think it is a combination of both. But I also think that some things are just behavior and how it is dealt with leads to how it continues.

[childcaremom]

Human nature is so interesting.

I think that there are so many factors the play into this. Definitely genetics has a role but nurture certainly affects it. Parental perception of valued traits, society, etc etc.

I don't know if you get the show "nature of things" but I watched an episode on Nature vs Nurture that was quite interesting, with a study of identical twins separated at birth. The similarities were uncanny.

However, I do think that you can 'reward' certain traits, resulting in them becoming more prominent. I see that with my dcps and also with my own children. I can also see that with gentle nurturing, you can bring out other, less dominant traits, too.