Hi everyone, hoping I can get your advice. Sorry this is super long. I work in a center in the toddler room with one other co-teacher. We also have a floater teacher who works in the toddler room as needed.
Dcb 2.5 is happy and well-behaved on the days when it's just me and co-teacher in the room. When floater is in the room, he's like a different child. He is very attached to the floater and will throw a fit every time she cannot sit by him, play with him, pick him up, etc. When he scrapes his knee when floater isn't around, he picks himself up and keeps playing. When floater is there, he screams and wails.
I like floater a lot, but I feel she is perpetuating his behavior by giving him attention when he throws fits like this. I think she sees his tantrums as him being upset and sad and needing comfort, and I (along with my co-teacher) see his tantrums as acting out for attention. When floater isn't around, if dcb has a tantrum my co-teacher or I ask if he "needs to relax", i.e. lay down in the book area and calm himself down until he stops crying and screaming and can rejoin the group. We generally don't talk to him or give him any attention during this time, b/c we want him to learn how to soothe himself and that throwing tantrums isn't an effective way to get attention, etc. When floater IS around and he throws a tantrum, she will talk to him, pick him up, hold him, and do special activities with him until he feels better.
Example: like this afternoon, dcb had a bucket of sand and was about to dump it on the playground. Floater told dcb don't dump it, dcb dumped it anyway, floater reprimanded him, dcb has tantrum. Floater tries to get him to pick the sand up, it doesn't work. Another dck ends up doing most of the work and dcb puts the sand bucket back in the sandbox. Another kid grabs the bucket (it was unattended so fair game), dcb has tantrum, floater picks him up and comforts him. If my co-teacher or I were there, we wouldn't have rewarded him with attention for that behavior. For 2.5 he is very intelligent and very verbal and knows very well how to ask for a turn with toys and communicate with his peers, etc. So dcb learns from this experience that throwing a fit over taking turns with a toy means he gets held and has one on one time with the teacher.
As you can imagine, this is incredibly frustrating for me and I want to talk to my co-worker about ways to improve the situation without sounding accusatory. She has a different way of doing things, and I don't want to flat-out tell her she's wrong. Do we just have different philosophies about this (comforting a tantrum vs. ignoring a tantrum)? She is generally a lot "softer" on the kids than my co-teacher and I are. I know a lot of you dc providers work by yourselves, but does anyone have any advice on dealing with this co-worker?
Dcb 2.5 is happy and well-behaved on the days when it's just me and co-teacher in the room. When floater is in the room, he's like a different child. He is very attached to the floater and will throw a fit every time she cannot sit by him, play with him, pick him up, etc. When he scrapes his knee when floater isn't around, he picks himself up and keeps playing. When floater is there, he screams and wails.
I like floater a lot, but I feel she is perpetuating his behavior by giving him attention when he throws fits like this. I think she sees his tantrums as him being upset and sad and needing comfort, and I (along with my co-teacher) see his tantrums as acting out for attention. When floater isn't around, if dcb has a tantrum my co-teacher or I ask if he "needs to relax", i.e. lay down in the book area and calm himself down until he stops crying and screaming and can rejoin the group. We generally don't talk to him or give him any attention during this time, b/c we want him to learn how to soothe himself and that throwing tantrums isn't an effective way to get attention, etc. When floater IS around and he throws a tantrum, she will talk to him, pick him up, hold him, and do special activities with him until he feels better.
Example: like this afternoon, dcb had a bucket of sand and was about to dump it on the playground. Floater told dcb don't dump it, dcb dumped it anyway, floater reprimanded him, dcb has tantrum. Floater tries to get him to pick the sand up, it doesn't work. Another dck ends up doing most of the work and dcb puts the sand bucket back in the sandbox. Another kid grabs the bucket (it was unattended so fair game), dcb has tantrum, floater picks him up and comforts him. If my co-teacher or I were there, we wouldn't have rewarded him with attention for that behavior. For 2.5 he is very intelligent and very verbal and knows very well how to ask for a turn with toys and communicate with his peers, etc. So dcb learns from this experience that throwing a fit over taking turns with a toy means he gets held and has one on one time with the teacher.
As you can imagine, this is incredibly frustrating for me and I want to talk to my co-worker about ways to improve the situation without sounding accusatory. She has a different way of doing things, and I don't want to flat-out tell her she's wrong. Do we just have different philosophies about this (comforting a tantrum vs. ignoring a tantrum)? She is generally a lot "softer" on the kids than my co-teacher and I are. I know a lot of you dc providers work by yourselves, but does anyone have any advice on dealing with this co-worker?
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